(Reupload due to be mistakenly deleted 💔)
(Regretevator flop au is a au I made bc I was very bored and had way too much free time LEL)
In this au Poob is half sheep :3
(guess who I had the most fun drawing-)
Tw: mentions of drugs, gore, mischaracterization, corny jokes, doomed Partybeetle and uhhh death ooo scary
Melaine's Personality (Melaine is Mc in this au :3)
Deadpan and Exhausted: She speaks in a flat, monotone voice. She looks like she has not slept since the elevator got corrupted. Mach gives her the hardest work because Melaine actually gets things done. She constantly sighs while cleaning up Pest's messes. Her jokes sound like a teenager trying to be edgy. Think 2010 creepypasta vibes. She says things like, "I like my coffee like my soul... dark, bitter, and legally dead." She is terrified of the organ selling situation. She uses her former stage performer voice overly bright and fake whenever Dr. Retro enters the room. She hates Taco Bell but is too loyal to Mach to complain. She silently leaves the cold burritos on Pilby’s desk as a "gift" to annoy them. She stands in corners with her arms crossed, trying to look cool and mysterious, but ruins it by tripping over her own feet.
The Organ "Recycling" Ring: Run by Dr. Retro. She smuggles expired, unidentifiable organs. The mafia treats this as their most terrifying operation, even though nobody knows if the organs are actually human or just old meat.
Taco Bell Extortion: Pilby’s main "hacking" assignment. They launch cyberattacks on local fast-food chains just to wipe out the bill for Melaine's unwanted meals.
Drug and Supply Theft: Pest hijacks shipments of illegal substances, but immediately ruins his reputation by stealing Mach's favorite pens
PEST AND POOB DYNAMIC (also Dr Retro)
Pest acts like he completely loathes Poob, especially now that Poob works for Folly. He treats every encounter with Poob like a dramatic betrayal. Pest targets Poob constantly, stealing their things under the excuse of "mafia business." In reality, he is just stealing back his old hoodies, his favorite mug, or things he gave Poob when they were dating.
Poob does not understand why they cannot still hang out. They joined Folly’s gang mostly because it sounded dramatic and they wanted to see Pest's reaction. Poob uses their position in Folly's gang to constantly "bother" Pest. They will show up at mafia turf wars just to wave, blow kisses, or bring up embarrassing stories from when they were together right in front of Mach and Melaine. Poob thinks the whole "star-crossed mafia lovers" thing is incredibly romantic and treats the turf war like a giant, dangerous game of tag.
3. Dr. Retro a very old therapist Awhh so cute
Dr. Retro loves the drama. She sits back with popcorn whenever Pest and Poob start screaming at each other across the battlefield. She pretends to give motherly relationship advice to both of them, but her solutions are always terrible. She will tell Pest, "If you miss them, you should just tranquilize them and keep them in the basement," or tell Poob, "A jar of harvested eyeballs is the perfect apology gift!". When their fighting gets too loud and ruins mafia business, she will literally physically separate them by their collars, smile sweetly, and threaten to harvest both of their hearts if they don't go to couples therapy (which she will force them to pay for). Poob willingly lets Pest "capture" them just so they can hang out at the mafia HQ. Poob is sitting in a chair, loosely tied up with party streamers, happily eating a snack while Pest aggressively paces around trying to look intimidating. Dr. Retro intentionally leaks fake mafia intel to Poob, knowing Poob will run straight to Pest to talk about it. She does this purely because she bet Mach twenty bucks that Pest would stutter within five seconds of seeing his ex.
When the elevator was ruined by Folly, Scag realized selling old floppy disks wouldn't protect her. She immediately pivoted to selling black market firearms, duct taping weapons to the old floppy disk shelves She sells "premium" weapons that are actually just regular guns painted neon colors, or guns that shoot confetti instead of bullets (she charges extra for the "surprise element"). If a gun explodes in a customer's hand, her official store policy is: "No refunds, you used it too aggressively." While she exploits Prototype for free labor and security, she genuinely cares about him. If anyone calls Prototype a "bucket of bolts" or tries to stiff him on a tip, Scag will personally try to fight them with a rusty screwdriver.
The Co-Worker / Little Brother: Prototype treats the gun shop like a regular, wholesome retail job. He greets customers with a bright smile, wears a little employee nametag, and sweeps the floors perfectly. He doesn't completely understand that they are running an illegal weapon ring. Scag heavily modified his code. The second Scag yells the safety word (something ridiculous like "CODE RED: NO REFUNDS!"), Prototype's wholesome demeanor vanishes. His eyes glow red, his arms mechanically split and transform into giant dual-barrel machine guns, and he speaks in a terrifying, booming distorted voice. The moment the threat is gone, he transforms his arms back into normal hands, tilts his head, and says, "Have a wonderful day, please come again!" like nothing happened.
3. Pest fucks everything up and almost fucking dies because he is a fucking failure
Melaine drags Pest to the shop because Mach ordered her to buy weapons for the mafia. Pest immediately notices that Scag is trying to sell them a rocket launcher that is clearly just a painted PVC pipe.
The Argument: Pest slams his hands on the counter and screams, "This is a scam! You're a fraud!"Melaine stands in the back, rubbing her temples, exhausted by Pest's loud mouth. Scag decides to play on Prototype's innocence. She gasps dramatically, pats her chest, and cries out, "Oh no, Prototype! That mean loud man is using bad words! It's hurting my feelings so much!"Prototype’s face turns to pure shock. He gasps, "Hurting feelings?! Not on my shift!" Instantly, his mechanical arms screech open into dual-wielding miniguns. His voice turns into a booming, demonic, metallic roar: "CUSTOMER DISRESPECT DETECTED. PREPARE FOR IMMEDIATE TERMINATION." He presses the cold steel barrel right against Pest's nose." Pest freezes, sweats profusely, and immediately squeaks out, "ok.. I take it back.. でも、やっぱり詐欺ですよ" Melaine deadpans, grabs the fake rocket launcher, and sighs, "We'll take ten of them."
The Taco Bell Incident: Mach sends Pilby to hack Scag’s shop to steal weapon schematics. Prototype catches Pilby. Instead of blasting them, Prototype thinks Pilby is a cute lost animal, puts them in a cardboard box, and feeds them an old sandwich with mold. Melaine had to awkwardly come by later to pick Pilby up. Pilby never mentally recovered after it. 12 days later, Poob wanders away from Folly's gang and into the gun shop to look for Pest. Instead of fighting, Prototype and Poob immediately become best friends. They sit on the floor coloring with crayons while Scag stands at the counter trying to sell Poob's Folly issued walkie talkies back to them.
OTHER NPCS IM TO LAZY TO NAME
Gnarpy has teamed up with Spud. Gnarpy provides the alien tech knowledge and insults, while Spud provides raw, unhinged shovel swinging power. They both utterly loathe Folly. Spud is angry about his face/bucket situation, and Gnarpy is angry about being captured. They spend their time plotting overly elaborate escapes that usually involve Spud digging through concrete floors with a regular spoon.
2. Infected stupid piss baby
Infected walked into Folly’s cult headquarters because the dark lighting, glowing symbols, and hooded robes looked exactly like an underground techno rave. Everyone finds him annoying
3. Folly & Null (why does Folly have such a big ego in this au-)
Folly openly despises Null, but she is completely dependent on his Helperbots to run her entire operation, clean her office, Folly could do this all herself, but she is too lazy. Null knows Folly only keeps him around for the bots. Because of this, he programs the Helperbots to be passive aggressive to her. They will "accidentally" spill lukewarm coffee on her paperwork or take the longest possible route when she orders them to fetch something.
4. Mozzle fucking dies fuck holy shit
During a tense, formal meeting to discuss peace between the Mafia and the Cult, Mozzle politely disagreed with one of Folly's business proposals. In response, Folly casually dumped an entire container of table salt into Mozzle's tea when she wasn't looking. It was completely fatal. This is why Melaine hates Folly with a burning passion. (Other then the fact Folly killed her that one time-)
1. Bive & Split yuri 👩❤️👩👩❤️💋👩👩❤️💋👩👩❤️👩😝👅👅
Bive and Split officially got together after Folly’s takeover. The chaos of the corrupted elevator brought them closer, and they are fiercely protective of each other. Bive is still anxious and paranoid about Folly's cult tracking them, but Split is her ultimate grounding force. Split knows exactly how to calm her down with a hug or a cup of tea whenever the stress of the drug lab gets too high. Split brings her classic positive energy to the operation. She packages their illegal products in cute bags with custom stickers, making sure Bive takes regular breaks so she doesn't burn out from cooking the chemicals.
2. Lampert: The Third-Wheel nice guy
Lampert is a genuinely good friend who handles the logistics, accounting, and security. He is completely happy to handle the boring business side so Bive and Split can focus on the chemistry. He is completely fine with Bive and Split's relationship, though he occasionally deadpans when they get too lovey-dovey in the middle of a drug deal.
ALL OF THE OTHER NPCZ ARE DEAD BC IM TOO LAZY TO WRITE LORE FOR THEM- IDC IF THERE IS PLOT HOLES
