Into a New World

it’s so funny when people online act like women reading trashy romance novels is like. a new phenomenon and a sign of the downfall of society bc this has never been a thing before. this has been an extremely popular genre of book for ages. the only difference now is that they’re written by women who wanted to fuck kylo ren. which i guess is annoying. out of every man in star wars like be so serious. they had harrison ford in those movies

i keep thinking i will just figure it out later but given my track record of [gestures vaguely] i am not so sure anymore

I appreciate the sentiment but I don't get all those "we made it to the longest night of the year! the light will start returning soon! it's all uphill from here & we're halfway there!" posts because like. Oct-Dec is the easier half of Winter. Jan-Apr is way harder. there's no big holidays or decorations, everyone is kind of over the whole Cozy Hygge Sweaters & Cocoa vibe so they're just tired & restless instead, and the whole thing is so drawn out & uneventful that it feels like it lasts 10x longer

Netflix has a lot of nerve crying and screaming and throwing up and having a tantrum about how password sharing is killing their business and making them hemorrhage money and how they're just struggling to stay afloat, then turning around and spending 72 billion dollars trying to become a monopoly by buying fucking Warner Bros

a woman will be 28 or whatever and all the 24 year olds are in shock like “no fucking way I seriously couldn’t tell. you don’t look near death at all”

i love to be the most laidback customer to ever grace an establishment. comrade i will wait one william years for your goods and services

my fucking privacy

A question for the ages.

The earlier on Tuesday you reblog this the funnier it is. (5:28am)

hey quick PSA but “reading before bed to wind down” only works if you’re normal about books btw. if you aren’t you are going to end up awake at 2:52am after finishing the whole book just trust me on this one

One more sentence never hurt anybody ☝️ but watch out

I think it sucks that you have to go to so many different kinds of doctor to take care of yourself. It's the 21st century. I should be able to go to a single office where they scan me with a big xerox machine and tell me what I'm allergic to and why my tummy hurts and if I have any cancer or cavities or if my glasses prescription has changed. And then I should get a sticker.

What if I just tried going to the vet instead of ten different doctor's offices. At least they might give me peanut butter.