Sade Olutola
art blog(derogatory)
Discoholic 🪩
macklin celebrini has autism
Andulka
Origami Around
I'd rather be in outer space 🛸
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
Sweet Seals For You, Always
PR's Tumblrdome
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tannertan36
One Nice Bug Per Day
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
@theartofmadeline
d e v o n
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TVSTRANGERTHINGS
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@luna-rambles
Good things
So for the first time in a while I have actually got money left over after paying my bills and can save it, that's nice and I can use some to work towards getting rid of my debt.
In other news I now have practice arrows for archery so that's great.
Also been working on eating better and drinking more water and moving more, the archery should help. And adding fiber to my water... so things are looking up.
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small things in life that are actually worth living for
your favorite people
your loved ones
your pets
animals
nature
the smell of rain
your favorite fictional characters
your favorite movies
your favorite tv shows
your favorite games
your favorite food
your favorite books
writing fanfics about your favorite fictional characters
reading fanfics about your favorite fictional characters
gay people
old man yaoi
archive of our own
It is always interesting to think about how so many people try to be unique. Especially in this day and age when everyone is competing against the ever shortening attention spans of the collective. But it kinda is impossible to be unique isn't it? At least 100% yea? In the end nothing under the sun is new and everything has been at least thought of once probably. That said perhaps its better to just add your own special flavor to whatever you do rather than make it perfectly your own.
Soooo, in my quest to slowly go through things and get rid of them I have been struggling among the overwhelming amount of things. But I have come to a conclusion, I have been going about it all the wrong way. Instead of removing all the things I don't want, I need to pile all the things I truly care about. That way going through and getting rid of the rest will be a lot easier. Why this took me so long to come to the conclusion of I do not know. But I guess I now have a new goal.
History is written by the victors, experienced by everybody, is remembered by the survivors
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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All the things I wanted to be as a kid
I decided to list as many things as I can remember wanting to be as a kid, not why I never did it, just, what I wanted.
In the army (I was like a tot and had no idea what it actually was like)
A zoologist
A paleontologist
A ballerina
An artist
An astronomer
A professor
A business woman (super vague, I simply imagined myself on a blackberry in a power suit doing, business things and being at airports and offices and junk)
A mad scientist (whatever that means)
A manga artist
A fashion designer
An explorer (akin to Indiana Jones)
An archeologist
An historian
An equestrian
A princess (cliche)
A witch
A warrior (akin to Xena)
Losing time
Anyone else feel like time just, supercharged after Covid? Like it somehow just is going too fast and slow at the same time? I mean that's saying something with my ADHD, times just a concept to me and even I can feel it.
As time passes I often wonder if I am wasting it... like where am I going, will I EVER achieve anything of worth? Usually I don't mind so much cause I believe life doesn't have a meaning and the only time wasted is what makes you not only miserable but doesn't provide a lesson.
But sometimes I cannot shake that feeling that there should be more. Like I should be doing more, have done SOMETHING. Like I am missing something huge. Maybe I am and am just living life blind? But if you can't even see what is missing how can you find it? Am I supposed to just, constantly feel in the dark for some mystery missing thing? Should I put it on a milk carton?
I know everyone is winging it, there is no manual for life. But damn do I feel like I am missing something. And damn do I feel like everyone else has it more figured out. Maybe I never truly got past childhood expectations to have it all figured out.
Mint
soooo I learnt just how hardy mint plants can be (I already knew they were but...)
I have my herb pots in a kiddy pool filled with water as we somehow still get droughts in summer, even as we live next to the coast. (Don't ask me how it can be humid and droughty at the same time I am not a weather girl, also droughty is not a word, but it is now. Cause I said so)
Well lo and behold, at the bottom under the water in the sediment of rotten leaves and the like, is some renegade mint, acting like a water plant. No outside air, the water is murky so sunlight in muddled, yet here it is, thriving, living its best life and it apparently has no problem with that. Mint is something else. I guess if I was more poetic I could give some lesson about perseverance or something, but I will leave that up to you.
The world is, something, stay safe
A little challenge
So, in a way to improve myself and actually get myself to do literally ANYTHING AT ALL, I came up with a small challenge for myself. I got one of those wheel spinner apps and put a bunch of tasks I need to do on it, at least three spins on days I am not working, at least one spin on work days. I am hoping it will help by a) being spontaneous as I do not have control of what I get or do, helping prevent overtly procrastinating, and b) not being overwhelming since doing the minimum won't take up all my time. At max the three tasks will take maybe an hour and a half assuming I get three "do x for 30 minutes," spins. (Like right now where I HAVE to write for 30 minutes. Which means I am now stuck trying to find out what to write for 30 minutes lol.
Leadership
So as usual I was pacing my house, listening to music, and thinking, a dangerous combo. In the midst of all this I was thinking of what leadership means to me. What qualities make a leader.
It is in my own personal opinion, leadership is not authority. Authority often uses leadership, but, is in fact not leadership. You can be a leader and not have "authority."
After all, think about the many minorities and subcultures that are often looked down on, yet often copied. Leadership is just showing a path, not forcing others to take it.
Im gonna end this here, cause I almost wrote a much longer version of this that started to look like a LinkedIn rant and I hated that.
The world is getting ever darker, stay safe.
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Well good news the anxiety spike seems to have mostly passed, seems valerian root tincture helped.
And once again I am stumped on what to write, it seems its easier to write when I am in a state of panic, not that I can write well in the first place.
Maybe I should go back to studying the basics of writing? Honestly and read a dictionary, both will help I imagine lol.
The world is still dangerous, stay safe.
Blank
You know I always have like 800 thoughts bouncing around in my head, then as soon as I freaking open to write something? Nothing. Nada. Zip, zilch, zero thoughts head empty. I dunno if that is the ADHD or maybe I am just that bad a writer? Or maybe I am dumb. Like why does that happen? I can be thinking so many things and then as soon as I wanna write it? Nothing
im sure if i move far away from home to somewhere no one knows me my whole personality will suddenly change and everyone will love me and everything will be better im sure im sure im sure
Do I complain too much? Yes, that is in fact what this page is about. Me complaining, venting, getting shit off my chest. Because honestly I end up losing all the papers, journals and notebooks that I write in to process my feelings.
Do I know I am terrible at writing? Yes. Will I stop? No. Because this is the best outlet I have. Lol.
That said I am not ALWAYS doom and gloom, I simply started this at a doom and gloom time.
Anyways, the world is pretty much a dumpster fire, stay safe.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
So, so far I have a running list of why I am feeling the feels I have been feeling...
•I have forgotten to take my vitamin D in over a month lol
°The anniversary of my mothers death was yesterday
•My neighbors were blasting country music at like 3-4:30 AM and for WHATEVER REASON I have not been regulated since
°I am behind on my bills and kinda have been for a while, but lowkey highkey do not wanna take on a second job so am basically paddling above the choppy waves of finances
•3 years after the death of my mother and my house is still full of her stuff because I am overwhelmed and its a LOT of stuff and I am kinda scared to throw it away.
°Weird sudden bout of jealousy towards my friend?
•Still gotta do taxes
°Lowkey think I am wasting my life
•An uptick of news about ICE and other scary things going on
°I cannot for the life of me get rid of my acne... I am f-ing 28 I shouldn't be having this problem
•I am terrified I am gonna end up like my mother
°No matter what I cannot seem to lose weight (I really need to)
Its important to know I do try to keep my head above water, but this time of year kinda makes it hard to. Finances are rough. My self image is rough. I am worried I am gonna die alone. I already have few people in my life and most of them are older, what am I gonna do when they die. I am taking some steps to try to balance this stuff, maybe I should list it out next?
