immer schneller

i hate when people ask me what sign i am like bitch i’m a sign from god. start running.

i lov goofy boys thats so my type

Gawrsh a-hyuck

my job in the comune will be to fuck your mom

mine is to make love to yours. step your game up.

i just got promoted to giving your father earthshattering prostate orgasms

my father is a libertarian so nice try but he would never be “pro state”

yes babe you look gnc af can we go grocery shopping now

that post about ‘the patti lupone you know is already dead and gone’ sends me every fucking time. i love that stupid post. it’s so fucking funny.

it’s so sad when cishet girls are like “I’m a feminist but I’m not a hairy lesbian” like don’t be so hard on yourself<3 I’m sure you have some good qualities too<3

*blows a kiss at the ocean (for the sharks)*

what the fuck is this

he loves shrimp can’t you read

Forget everything I’ve been saying, we need to reopen right the fuck now

you know, the older i get, the more i hate cynicism. isn't it exhausting to always be so bitter about everything? why don't you try a little genuine kindness and understanding and maybe you'll calm down