Don't Call Me Lucy

Her gaze lingered on Quinn for a moment longer. "And for what it's worth, I don't think you forgot who you were." She tilted her head slightly. "I think you got very good at being who you needed to be." The words were simple, matter-of-fact rather than pitying. "There's a difference." A small smile returned to her face then, lighter this time. "Besides, the version of you that was apparently busy scaring people in a cheer uniform still managed to grow up into someone who keeps binders full of letters from children and worries about whether she's kind enough." One shoulder lifted in a small shrug. "That seems like a fairly strong argument that she was always in there somewhere."

Then, because she couldn't help herself:

"And I would just like the record to show that the puppet idea has now gone from 'absolutely impossible' to 'a really fun idea'." The corner of her mouth twitched. "Which is exactly why I'm not letting it go."

Quinn took a breath and nodded at what Camille said. "You got that right. They house I grew up in basically forced me to hide who I was and what I wanted out of life." She agreed. "I always felt guilty about cutting everyone out of my life and just taking off after I graduated, but I think I needed that to get back to who I was."

"Oh man, you're going to be that kind of friend huh?" Quinn chuckled. "The kind that doesn't let me say no to something even if it's a bit ridiculous."

Her smile lingered for a moment before softening. "Perhaps instead of a completely different person, you've become a more honest version of the same one." She tilted her head slightly. "The Quinn you're describing sounds like someone who spent a lot of energy trying to protect herself. The Quinn I'm talking to now just seems less interested in pretending she doesn't care." A small shrug followed. "Which, admittedly, is probably much harder."

The corner of her mouth lifted again at the narrowing of Quinn's eyes. "And yes. Absolutely. One hundred percent. I'm going to keep bringing it up." There wasn't even a trace of apology in her voice.

"As for the puppet..." Camille considered the question with surprising seriousness. "I feel like you're asking the wrong person. You're the storyteller." Her eyes narrowed thoughtfully. "Though if you somehow end up commissioning a puppet of one of your own characters, I wouldn't be remotely surprised."

"I think you're right. This is the person I always was deep down, I was just too scared and hurt to let it show." Quinn sighed. "I definitely needed to protect myself growing up, in more ways than one, so I kind of had to be someone else to keep myself safe." She admitted quietly. "It was exhausting and after a while I forgot who I really was."

"Good to know." Quinn chuckled. "Hm, commissioning a puppet of one of my characters? I never thought of that but that sounds like a really fun idea!"

The amusement lingered for a moment before her expression softened. "For what it's worth, I don't think that's stupid." She paused, turning the thought over carefully. "I think most people carry around some version of who they used to be. The problem is that we're usually the last person to notice we've outgrown it." A faint smile touched her lips. "And honestly? The fact that you're worried people still see you that way probably says more about who you are now than who you were then."

Her eyes narrowed slightly in playful suspicion. "Also, Quinn. You don't accidentally know that a puppet maker exists, follow her social media, watch her videos regularly, browse her website, and check the prices." The smile broke fully then. "At some point we're going to have to call this what it is: you're one moderately irresponsible financial decision away from owning a puppet. "

"I should be glad that's how you see me I guess." She shrugged. "It means that I've really grown past who I used to be and have become the person I want Beth to be proud of. I also have to remember that the people who would have a problem with how I've changed are no longer in my life." Quinn smiled. "Yea I could care less back then about what people though, I was more worried they would find out what I was hiding." She shrugged.

"You're going to nag me about this until I actually commit to this and give it a fair shot aren't you?" Quinn said with narrowed eyes as she sipped her coffee. "What kind of puppet should I even get? Like what kind of character do I want that puppet to be?"

See there -- I am a delight, and so are you, so it was inevitable, really. OMG MAKE NICK DO IT. Kurt's a Brunch Bunch regular too, but I'm like 78.6% sure Nick's scared of me, he can entertain the kidlet while we get you mimosas. (Bellinis or bloody marys are also acceptable substitutes.)

Uh. I sort of. Forgot to water it. For like. Three years? It had no root structure left. So honestly, it's probably a good thing that Pepper can bark at me and glare with his one good eye if I forget something important like meals and ear scratches. You know what that is? GROWTH.

It really was, you are really so fun and delightful, truly! I plan to. Luckily he loves Beth and I know he would be happy to watch her. Also Beth will be happy to play with his dogs again. Oh those are good choices too, I love me a good Bellini!

How do you forget to water a plant for 3 years? That's truly insane! So I think anything that can't bark at you or yell at you is not meant to be. I will also make note to never give you a plant as a gift, not that I would've anyway.

Camille blinked at that question, looking genuinely surprised by it. “Yes?” she answered, as though it were the most obvious thing in the world.

A small smile tugged at her lips. “Quinn, you've spent the last half hour telling me about fan letters you keep because they matter to you, books you wrote so kids wouldn't feel alone, and a completely serious consideration of becoming a puppeteer because it made you happy.”

The smile softened. “Maybe you're not the person who becomes friends with everyone. But you do seem like the kind of person people feel comfortable around. There's a difference.”

At the mention of being logistical, Camille laughed quietly. “That, I believe immediately. The fact that you've apparently already researched custom puppet makers before you've even committed to the idea feels like all the evidence I need.”

"Sorry" Quinn sighed, a smile creeping onto her face. "It's just that I've never had anyone tell me that before." She admitted. "Despite how much I've grown and changed, I still worry that people here still see me as that bitchy head cheerleader with a heart of ice from high school." Quinn shrugged. "Stupid, since it's been like 15 years or something, but I can't help it."

"I didn't research! She happened to come across my feed and I followed her. She makes fun videos making peoples custom order puppets, but I won't deny looking at her website and the prices."

I mean, if you're sure -- far be it for me to say no to being counted amongst your many, many friends, 😉 Tell you what though, in exchange you have to come to at LEAST one brunch weekend. There's a whole group of us who meet up at Coda on Sundays for brunch and shenanigans. And also mimosas. The mimosas are Very Important.

Well, I can't keep plants alive, so that's a bit of a red flag there. Literally have killed an aloe plant. It's a succulent, Quinn. It's supposed to be impossible to kill, but I did anyway. I have severely limited adulting skills despite being technically an adult, so keeping another living thing alive just seemed like sort of a tall order. I like to think I serve the necessary judgement role myself from time to time, so I'm willing to let Pepper be that for me, ha. High school was just terrible in general, I hear you there. But that sounds like a healthy attitude to have -- learning from it instead of blocking it out.

I like to think we've already become friends over the course of this conversation. I will absolutely take you up on that offer. I'll make my friend Kurt or Nick babysit Beth so I can have a wonderful child free brunch. Mimosas are the most important part of sunday brunches!

How did you kill an aloe plant? They require like no upkeep at all! I would consider that a very impressive skill that you managed to kill an otherwise impossible to kill plant. When the alive thing can physically jump on you and yell, or bark, at you for food then it becomes hard to forget about and kill. Oh god you don't know the half of it! Yea, it's the only thing I can do at this point.

nick: I'm looking down the barrel of another agonizing Monday morning client meeting and need to know you have a better week ahead of you than I do.

“First of all, the fact that you've apparently already skipped past whether you'd do it and gone straight to worrying about your lack of puppet-making experience is incredibly telling.”

Her smile widened slightly.

“Nobody starts with years of experience, Quinn. That's sort of how new things work.”

The mention of the circus earned another laugh. “And no, not carney vibes. More..." she tilted her head thoughtfully. "The kind of person who would somehow befriend every performer, accidentally end up backstage, and then decide she could probably do it too.”

A beat passed before she added, teasingly:

“Also, for someone who claims she was joking, you seem very concerned about the logistics of becoming a puppeteer.”

At the description Quinn found her smile fall. She knew a lot of people who fit that description, but she was not one of them. "You really think I'm like that?" She asked quietly, in a disbelieving tone. "That I'm friendly enough to become friends with everyone and just join into the chaos?"

Quinn knew that she had grown a lot since high school and college and had become more social, but what Camille said threw her. Even now she didn't see herself as that kind of person, but maybe she was? Maybe that was really how others saw her now, instead of still as the head cheerleader with the heart of ice.

"I'm a very logistical person when I want to be,"

Oh, I can buy a set, make sure you get properly compensated for your work -- business expense, even, 😉 I work with kids of all ages though, potentially until they age out at 18, so chapter books they can work through a little at a time are pretty much perfect.

I resisted for a long time, mostly because I was pretty convinced I'd be a terrible dog mom. Pep's pretty lowkey and low maintenance though, we're at the point where I can tell there's actually affection behind it when he judges me, and his judgement is usually valid, to be honest. Bitchy head cheerleader AND smoking pink haired punk? I need to get my hands on a few old yearbooks, I think... 👀

Please let me gift you some. I have way too many copys at home and I don't know what to do with them all. My publisher made the mistake of thinking I had a large collection of friends and family to gift them too when I originally got published so they've just been sitting in a box.

Why do you think you'd be a terrible dog mom? You seem like you'd be an awesome dog mom honestly. Honestly valid judgement from someone you love is usually the kind of judgment you need from time to time. Yea, high school was a bit rough at points for me. I can definitely show you some photos, since Beth was born I have begun embracing my past as opposed to hiding it.