✦ luck ✦

𖦏 and i believe that ✦

other parts blogs:

kennedy - @dodeaddogsbite

kenma - @anti-willo-kenma

mal - @fembydevotion

been working on being open with my therapist but it's so hard like bro . i know that these kinds of disorders ( complex dissociative disorders & trauma disorders ) develop for protection ( something my therapist keeps pointing out ) & thus it's rly hard to stop the masking that goes on + i feel insane if i start calling myself a different name in therapy & stuff but aughhh i wanna just do the work already even tho i know i am for sure not in the space for it loll ... gotta get control of the disordered eating & self-destructive ( high risk ) behaviors first </3

anyway , aside from that , i did manage to express to my therapist the fear i have of potential unrecovered memories abt my dad specifically & she asked me if i want to remember them & honestly i still don't know . it would be nice to have answers , but also a big part of me wants to continue to believe that nothing worse than what i do remember ever happened so that i can try & trick myself into believing nothing was ever wrong with me :(( augh

it's my birthday ! i'm 23 now yayyy

i'm changing my blog a bit to be more of a system journal of sorts ? i dunno , i'm gonna try it out . i'm also attempting to set up pluralspace but it'll take a while

if ur one of my moots from wayyy back , ily & feel free to stick around but rn @anti-willo-kenma & @fembydevotion r way more active than me !

i love u guysss !!!