lucien.

REBLOG IF YOU WANT ANONS

Every time I do this I get weird af anons n I love it 🐝🐝🐝

so my uncle is a priest and apparently can’t deny when i ask him to bless something so i now have a blessed laptop, blessed loaf of bread, and blessed underwear. 

i just asked him to bless this post and he did 

This post is officially the most holy post on Tumblr.  Use it to banish sins from your dashboard.

my friend had a cat and it drank antifreeze that was puddled in the driveway and one day they were knitting and it just vomited up all of its internal organs and fell over dead on her lap.

The perpetrators of all of this will burn in Hell. 

A neighbor of mine threw a ball of hamburger full of rat poison pellets over our fence for my son’s dog. He survived, barely, but has had nerve damage ever since.

Okay, listen up, if your pet drinks antifreeze, do you know what the cure is? Alcohol. That’s right. To save your furry little friend you have to get them drunk out of their faces. Antifreeze is an inhibitor and stops your enzymes from working, but luckily alcohol stops that from happening. I learned this from my A Level Biology lessons, but here’s a source anyway http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/scotland/2617997.stm

Shit this is important SIGNAL BOOST THIS THANK YOU ALICE

BOOST. FUCKING BOOST.

ALWAYS REBLOG

not blog related, but I’m not an asshole

i seriously regret telling anyone, anything, ever lmao

it can be really tiring to maintain relationships with people. some days all we need is the love from a small and cuddly animal. 

Please keep up the deeply satisfying videos, Tumblr.

I need volunteers

For what?

I’m going to the airport wearing an expensive black dress with a diamond necklace and glasses of champagne in both hands, waltzing through, casually reminding my chauffeur to haul my bags in for me. I need 4-5 attractive people (race+gender doesn’t matter) wearing clothes that are not better than mine, and cool sunglasses begging me not to leave, on their knees, barely grasping my dress because they want me to stay but at the same time they know the dress is worth more than anything they can ever afford. Turning around every so slightly and almost spilling, but not quite all the way there, my champagne, I’ll laugh and say quite loudly, “darlings I have to visit my ACTUAL husband!”

how do i get in on this

Write a love story

this is The Notebook be original for once

this is Twilight be original for once

This is Romeo and Juliet be original for once

This is Pride and Prejudice be original for once

not even risking that shit

scrolled past this, re-evaluated my life, then SCROOOLLLED back up and hit the damn reblog button. 

Last comment same thing. Sorry to the next person who sees this. I just can’t risk it. I have things I need to do before my life becomes hell. Lol

man i fucking hate yall who tf put this up knowing damn well we all gonna reblog it im heated im really sick af bout this 

I don’t play that shit lol sorry

WHyyyy

Sorry everyone

If only if only the woodpecker sighs the bark on the tree was as soft as the sky why the wolf waits below hungry and lonely he cries to the moon if only if only

I’ll be damned if I end up like ol boys dirty, rotten, pig stealing great great grandfather

Over 2 million people aren’t taking that risk and I am one of them