dazed

These are people who are in our life for better or for worse. Yet as people involved in a ‘spiritual life,’ we have this idea we’re supposed to love everybody. What do we do? First, we don’t pretend to love what we don’t love in them. We refuse to 'make a mood.’ But also, we don’t react to it. We refrain from rolling our eyes or conspicuously counting to ten before responding. Second, we don’t put our attention on what’s 'wrong’ with them. Attention is a powerful force, and what we attend to will grow. So instead, we find one thing about them that is admirable, and put our attention there. We grow what is good. Maybe they took care with their hair today. Maybe they have nice shoes on. It doesn’t have to be much. Third, we never discount anyone’s capacity for evolution. Everyone is capable of change. Everyone. If someone is still alive, they can evolve. We don’t get to write them off. We can’t ignore them. We can’t sit in active hatred of anyone. We want to find a way to treat anyone and everyone with dignity and respect, maybe especially those who make it difficult for us.

When you meet another human being, you meet the physical self, then you meet the psychological self that’s behind it, which is their mental conditioning, their patterns of behavior and so on. And then, there is a deeper level to every human being that transcends all of that. I can only sense that in another human being and relate to another human being on that deeper level if I have gone deep enough within myself.