so wake me up when it's all over

“Half an hour?” Dan wiggled his brows with a smirk. They were so lucky to have that long since becoming parents. Suddenly staying up all night had an entire different meaning. Sometimes they couldn’t even if they tried or looked forward to. Sleep won. It didn’t come easy recently. “They’re experts already!” The blonde laughs but nodded. Luca’s plan was definitely better than what he had in mind. “But I’ll never say no to us enjoying our time together.” He closed the space between them, kissing his husband’s  cheek as he pulled them towards the bed. As spacious as the trailer was, it was still a trailer. The space was limited, but this bed was almost as comfy as their back home. “Isn’t this all so luxurious?” He added, bringing Luca closer, his arms wrapped around his husband. “You should’ve seen the first trailer I had assigned though. It was a third of this one, it smelled awful and it didn’t have a bathroom. I thought it was the best thing in the world.” It was never easy talking about the time they had spent apart, especially closer to when things ended because it reminded him that while he had been doing all of that, he thought Luca hadn’t make it. He was trying more, though, hoping one day it got better. 

"If we’re lucky.” Luca teases with a smirk, happy to steal whatever moments they could have together before their daughter woke up. With Italia settled nearby, Luca falls into bed with Dan, wrapping his arms around his husband. “Mm, it’s perfect. Look at you, Mr. Fancy Actor with the nice trailer.” He chuckles at that, stealing another kiss from the blonde’s lips. “You know I’d be happy anywhere with you, babe. Whether it’s a shoebox apartment or an Italian villa. I love you and I love our life together.” Their past was messy and their future was still being written, but Luca wouldn’t change any of it. “I am really glad that our life allows for Italia and I to come visit you on set though, ‘cause we both miss you a lot when you’re gone.” 

“If you think so!” Dan chuckles though his husband had a point. They were far from ordinary, both as individuals and as professionals. Dan just hoped they would be able to balance their public life and their private life enough to shield their daughter from the dark side of success and fame. They had been trying so hard to protect her from even before she was born. She was their entire world and most precious treasure. She was the perfect being in Dan’s eyes, but above all, she was his and Luca’s, the epitome of their union, a beautiful reminder that his dream did come true. “Let’s hope she keeps her A game on the way back.” Dan smiled at his husband, reaching for their hand and brushing his thumb soothingly over their knuckles. “Oh, I know I really do have a good life. Have you seen my husband?” He grins, leaning in to steal a chaste kiss from his lips. “I’ll love you in every lifetime, Luca Scavo-Healy. Don’t you forget that.” Their check was left on the table and they waited a little long after Dan had signed the receipt, enjoying the nice weather and the scenery around them before they headed back, hand in hand. “I can take care of Italia if you want to take a shower. If she’s good, I might even join you soon.”

"In every lifetime.” Luca repeats softly, smiling at his husband’s words. He believed it too. Their connection was so strong, so pure, that Luca had no doubt that they would find each other in every lifetime imaginable, and then some. “Mm...we might have half an hour. We don’t want her to sleep too long, then she’ll definitely keep us up all night...and I don’t want to make any of the makeup people mad at me for causing you to have dark rings under your eyes!” The brunette laughs, shaking his head. “I can shower later. How about we get settled and enjoy our time together instead, hm?”

“Babe, I don’t think there’s a bad cop bone in your entire body.” The blonde points out quickly, laughing softly as he shook his head. “Since we’re at it, I’m sure you’ll be the favorite parent too, which is okay with me. You’re my favorite too. I couldn’t blame our kid for choosing you.” He was partly joking, of course, knowing full well they both were completely devoted to Italia. He loved that baby girl so much even before she was born but holding her, holding her gaze, it was a feeling he was yet to find the right words to describe it. His eyes move from their daughter to his husband for a moment, smiling. “Yeah.” They were his whole life. To have both of them with him while he was filming, to be able to live both dreams simultaneously, Dan was so undeserving and forever grateful! “I love you both more than I will ever be able to say, you know that, right? It feels so surreal, sometimes, that this is my life, and it’s you I have to thank for that. Putting up with long flights with a newborn, by yourself, among other things. What have I done to deserve you?”

"You may have a point there.” Luca chuckles, shaking their head. “Hey, c’mon. She’ll love us both equally and connect with us on different things. We are very interesting people, you know.” The brunette points out, smirking softly. “Including this little one. She did pretty well for her first plane ride, thankfully. I’m sure everyone around us appreciated it.” She had slept through most of it, only fussing a bit during takeoff and landing. Luca felt pretty lucky that it had gone so smoothly. Italia would probably throw a fit on the way home, but they were prepared to handle that if it happened too. Luca was grateful that they got to spend this time with Dan. “We have a pretty good life, don’t we? I feel lucky every day.” 

“Babe, you’re already the greatest papa.” The actor smiled back at his husband, brushing his thumb softly against their lips as Luca leaned back. He was excited to be on this journey with Luca even if he had been terrified. Luca made it all so easy, so much better. “And you put up with me and having to crash in trailers and traveling by themselves with a baby.” He knew how lucky he was that they were able to do this, that he was able to have Luca and Italia here and that it might not always be this easy but, for now, he’d take what he could. “I’m so going to be tha bad cop in this whole parenting thing, aren’t I?” The blonde laughed, leaning back as their order started to arrive, making some space on the table between them and picking on the fries. 

"We can both be good cops! That’s a thing, right?” Luca asks, chuckling quietly. “We can take turns being good cop and bad cop. We’ll figure it out as we go...isn’t that what most parental figures do anyways?” They were sure that was what Karen and David did when they had become their guardian. Luca was forever grateful that his aunt and uncle had done so too, and now they were the happiest, most excited grandparents to Italia. Luca knew that they were lucky to have so many people in her life that loved her. “It’s crazy how much one little person has changed our lives so much, isn’t it? But like, in the best way possible.” 

Dan knew their baby girl would grow up in the blink of an eye but she was still so tiny. He didn’t know he’d love being a dad this much but Italia had truly changed his life from the moment they knew she was coming into the world. She gave their lives so much meaning, made everything that was already great, even more perfect. “I hope she has many.” The blonde smiles, focusing on his husband instead. He knew he wouldn’t have been able to do this without Luca. He wouldn’t have with anyone else. This was their dream. His and Luca’s. It wouldn’t have felt right any other way. And he loved the brunette sitting before him, the one person in this entire world who knew him better than anyone else and who still chose to love him completely without any reservation. Dan adored them. He adored everything about them. “I’m definitely blaming the fries on you!” The actor laughed, nodding quietly as the server took their order, staring back at his husband with a smile on his face once they were left to their own again, “Our kids are going to have such a different upbringing from ours.” He said almost as an afterthought. “How are we going to make sure we don’t spoil them that much?”

"Hey, at least there will be some vegetables!” Luca jokes back, an amused laugh leaving their lips. The look of amusement on his face softens at Dan’s next words though, giving his husband’s fingers a light squeeze. “She will. But it’ll be filled with just as much love, if not more.” Luca hums, sure of that fact. “I guess we’ll just have to keep each other in line. We’ve always had each other’s backs. We will when it comes to parenting too.” They say reassuringly, bringing Dan’s knuckles to his lips to give them a kiss, offering him a smile. Would they mess up at times? Of course. But they would also learn from their mistakes. “We’re gonna be great dads. I know that in my heart.” 

Dan knew he was lucky to have Luca, but all of this? This was so much more than he could’ve ever wished for or even dreamed of. Their family and their careers, their health. They were happy. He had it all. He had Luca. “She doesn’t mind it so much now. Wait until she has her own friends and social life. She’ll hate having to put up with her dads’ work.” It was somewhat premature to worry about that, though. “So we might as well enjoy it while it lasts, right baby girl?” Dan kept playing with their daughter’s tiny feet, looking from the baby to the menu on his other hand. “I think I need to try the garlic parmesan fries even if I’m under strict orders to stay away from carbs for this role. I don’t think Italia will tell on me and neither will you.” He smirked, looking back at his husband. “Order anything you want, babe. It’s been a long day for you.”

"Oh, I know. We’re in for it once she starts talking and has her own opinions!” Luca laughs, shaking their head. Luca knew once Italia was older and started going to school that the two of them couldn’t travel to see Dan on set as much, but they still had a while before they had to think about that. “You can blame the fries on me. I ordered them.” The brunette teases, winking back at Dan. “Let’s do the fries...the veggie skewers, and crab cakes? You want anything else? We’re sharing, obviously. I’m definitely stealing some fries.”

“Yes. I was terrified. Still am. But she makes it so easy.” Dan had always been scared about the idea of becoming a father. He was certain he would just repeat the same mistakes his dad made and he didn’t want to cause anyone the same pain. In some ways, he had. He had hurt Luca, the one person he loved the most in the world almost from the moment the very moment they met. They had shared dreams, dreams they had built together, that were for both of them and not one without the other. For years there, Dan thought those dreams would never come true. Every morning he got to wake up next to his husband, every time he got to hold their baby, he couldn’t help feeling so unbelievably undeserving and beyond blessed that he got to live their dream together despite everything they had been through. “Now we do.” Dan echoed, mirroring Luca’s smile. “Just like her papa.” He added right before they were guided to a table outside with enough space for the stroller and a little privacy. Before taking his seat, Dan leaned in to kiss Luca for no apparent reason other than he wanted to and he could, over and over again, until the end of their days. “I’m so happy you’re here. I’ve missed you both. I can’t kiss you over FaceTime.”

"I do like being able to kiss you.” Luca hums, smiling into the kiss. “Just might keep doing it for the rest of my life.” They add, brushing their thumb over their husband’s chin lightly before leaning back in their seat, taking a look down at the menu. “Hm...what sounds good?” It all did, though. But then again, Luca would try pretty much anything at least once. Now that they were sitting there, the brunette realized that he was pretty hungry, and definitely in need of a latte. “And we’ve missed you too, babe. You know Italia and I will come visit you on location as much as we can. She doesn’t seem to mind traveling too much so far, so that's a plus.” 

Dan held onto Italia’s tiny feet idly as he hummed and nodded, looking from his daughter to his husband with a quiet smile on his face. He knew what their apartment had meant to them, to Luca. It was perfect even if it was tiny. It was theirs. He could never forget the last time he walked out of that place. He was numb to the pain back then. He didn’t ever want to go back to that. Back then, he thought he had lost everything. Now, he had too much to lose. Taking Luca’s hand, he brings it softly to his lips. “We sure have.” Dan replies with a smile. “I’m really proud of us, too. I mean, look at this little one. She’s ours and she’s perfect. There’s absolutely nothing wrong about her. I’ve never been prouder of anything in my life.” Even if he had been hesitant to the idea of being a father before, Italia had completely stolen his heart from even before she came into this world. “Do you want to sit here, have a drink or a snack before we go back?” The blonde pointed at the small restaurant in the corner.

"It’s crazy to think that she’s ours. Remember when we used to talk about having a family of our own? And now we do.” Luca murmurs, smiling proudly. They had just been kids with big dreams at the time, yet somehow, they had made their dreams a reality. Maybe not in the way they had thought, but Luca wouldn’t change a single part of their story, not even the hard parts. “No matter what we do...Italia’s definitely up there in the greatest achievements category. I mean, look at her. She’s like a little doll! I know we’re biased when we say this, but she’s perfect. Absolutely perfect.” Luca says, nodding at their husband’s suggestion. “Yeah, here seems like a good place. I could eat. Let’s grab a bite.” 

Dan didn’t like exposing Italia to the public eye without her consent. She was just a baby. It wasn’t her fault her father was a public figure, something he chose and agreed to. He was at least supported by his husband in doing everything they could to ensure her safety which was ultimately their priority. He had been so scared to be a dad but it seemed to come naturally to him in the end. The constant worry. The undivided attention and near adoration of the child. Knowing that he could and would give his life in a second if it meant he could keep her safe. Dan smiled at his husband’s suggestion, nodding. “She would love that.” He knew his grandmother really appreciated any time they spent with her but now more so than ever. “She always wanted a girl.” The blonde reminisced, chuckling quietly. “Instead she was stuck with two boys.” Eva had always talked about Dan as if he was her own and not just her grandson. That gesture and affection never went unnoticed by the actor. “Crazy, isn’t it? Remember our first apartment?” Sure, the memory was bittersweet, but Dan dared bring it up because it wasn’t always heartbreaking. “We could barely fit our bed in the room. And now? Look at us now. I can’t believe any of it sometimes.”

They were both protective over their daughter, and rightfully so. She was just a baby and had no idea what her dads did for a living and didn’t deserve to be subjected to the spotlight until she was old enough to make that choice for herself. It was something that they both agreed on and was important to them. While the two of them were fine being public figures, they wanted to keep their baby out the spotlight as much as they could. “We’ll give her a call once you’re done filming.” Luca promises, giving their husband’s hand a light squeeze. They knew that those moments, those memories, were precious not only to Eva, but Dan as well. “I loved that apartment.” They add after a minute, nodding slowly. Sure, it had been small and cramped, but it had been theirs. Until it wasn’t. Luca chooses not to focus on that memory, giving Dan a small smile instead. “We’ve come so far, haven’t we? I’m proud of us.”

The concept of family was distorted for Dan in that he didn’t really have any reference point when he decided to start a family of his own with Luca. He had an idea of what he would’ve liked, as a child. Sometimes he felt guilty, unappreciative, of the family his grandparents provided him. Sometimes he felt anger towards his mom, too, for leaving him, even if he knew better, that she didn’t have a choice. “I will never understand why they must obsess with a baby.” The actor shook his head, looking at his husband and their baby. They had been very strategic about when and how they shared anything with the public. They wanted privacy and safety so they had to negotiate. Dan will not let anything happen to Italia. He would give his own life to protect hers in a heartbeat. He would give up anything, including his career, for her and Luca. “I know, babe, and I know we’ll find a way to make it work for us, for our family. Well, probably, you will. You always do.” Dan smiled, kissing his husband’s cheek as he led them to a quiet café with outdoor seating. “This is nice, though, isn’t it?” It was mostly elderly couples around them, minding their own business. Dan grinned. “Maybe a retirement plan? Or are we sticking to Italy?”

"Curiosity, I guess. I don’t know.” They were private people in general, especially Dan, so Luca sort of understood the fascination. It didn’t make it right though. They just hoped the pictures they did choose to share were enough to keep them away. Luca hated when the paparazzi followed them around when they were out with Italia. It wasn’t a good experience for any of them. “Speaking of family, I was thinking we should have a visit with Eva once you’re done filming. Give her some quality time with Italia.” The brunette suggests, shrugging. He knew Eva adored their baby and they wanted both Dan and Italia to have those precious moments with her. “We can retire to anywhere we want to, babe. I think we can afford a vacation home or two, don’t you?”

Dan smiles almost instantly at the mention of the diner back home. There could be dozens of diners back home but he knew exactly the one Luca was talking about, their diner, where they had their first date and still sneaked off to in the middle of the night when they were sure not too many people would be around but that wasn’t as often as either of them liked. For someone who had always been into performing arts like Dan had been, and who had managed to earn himself a high level of fame in a relatively short period of time, he really didn’t love being in the spotlight. Just like acting, he learned how to project himself in public but that didn’t mean it was easy or he loved it. He appreciated his privacy, their privacy, and now that they had Italia, he did even more. “I know, babe.” Reaching for Luca’s hand, he brought their knuckles to his lips and smiled. “I know, but my grandmother doesn’t want to move from her house and I don’t want us too be too far away from her or David and Karen either. They’re our family.” Our only family, Dan was about to say. “Italia deserves to enjoy her grandparents.” He smiled. David and Karen were their child’s grandparents, and Eva, too. “I just need to keep you safe. I can deal with anything else but that. You two are the most precious thing to me.”

"And she will. But we have to consider our family too.” Luca says gently, leaning over to press a kiss to the side of Dan’s head. They understood both sides of the argument, so to speak. Luca wanted to stay close to their family too, but he also wanted their family to be safe and comfortable. “Hey, you don’t have to worry about me. The paparazzi hardly pay me any mind unless I have the little one with me, and we’re both trying to keep her out of the spotlight.” Italia was too young, too precious, to have her face splashed on every tabloid. Neither of them wanted that for her. “I have your back and you have mine, babe. And we both have Italia’s. Us, our family...that’s the most important thing to me.”

Dan has spent long hours filming and he had a full schedule the next day but none of that really mattered at that moment. The adrenaline of having his husband and their child with him meant he wasn’t one bit tired at that moment and all he really wanted to do was spend all the time he could with them. He knew Luca felt the same way but since they had given him the option, the actor just smiled and shrugged. “We can go for a stroll in the town center, grab a bite if you’re hungry, nothing too crazy but I want to.” The blonde looked into his husband’s eyes just to make sure Luca knew he meant it. “I missed you, too. Let me just change and I’ll call a car for us. Make yourself at home.” Giving their lips a quick kiss, he smiled and disappeared into the trailer’s bathroom, a car already waiting for them soon after he was out dropping them at the small town’s main street. There were a few small restaurants and shops, gas light posts still illuminating the cobblestone streets, flower baskets lining the sidewalk and filling it with color. It was just nice that they could walk here and enjoy dinner without being worried about the people around them snapping photos or interrupting their dinner or just invading their privacy. “I really do miss this back home, you know? Just, being able to do this, it’s nice, isn’t it?”

While Dan freshens up, Luca takes the time to gather Italia’s things into her baby bag. Popping a Tic Tac into their mouth, they move to their feet, moving their sleeping baby into her stroller. “It’s nice here.” Luca replies once the car drops them off, looking around as they head down the street. “I do miss the diner back home.” Luca admits, smiling at the thought if it. It really wasn’t anything too fancy, the little 24 hour diner back in Seattle, but it held a lot of special memories for Luca. They used to sneak out and go there when they couldn’t sleep in high school. They had bought Dan there on their first date after his show. It was where they had their first kiss. The two of them had eaten many stacks of pancakes there since then and they were sure they would continue to do so. “You know we can always move somewhere more private, right? A gated community, or a building with a doorman or more security. I know keeping our personal lives private is important to you.” 

Dan laughed at both his request and Luca’s promise even though he was sure they were both tired from the trip and he was tired from filming to stay up too late even if they all tried. He was more than happy to, though, missing his husband sleeping next to him in bed at night. Dan was used to doing all of this by himself. He was used to being on his own for long periods of time. He just really didn’t like doing it anymore mostly because he knew he didn’t have to. He had Luca, and they now had Italia. He had a family to share the highs and the lows and all the in between with. Wrapping an arm around his husband’s waist, he led him through the trailer. He was sure Luca had already checked it out before he made it back from the set but Dan still gave them a quick tour of the space they’d share, including the newly installed cot for their baby. He carefully placed Italia in her crib before turning to face the brunette, pulling him closer into a kiss. “We can stay here for a bit, rest a little, the bed is very comfy, and then we can decide if we want to go out to dinner or order in. It’s a nice, small town. I think you’ll like it.”

Leaning into their husband’s embrace, Luca smiles, nuzzling his neck for a moment. Italia seems content enough in her crib for now and they’re glad that she seems to be settling in without too much fussing. They were both grateful for that. Smiling into the kiss Dan gives them, Luca hums quietly, nodding. “We can go out if you’re not too tired. I don’t mind either way, babe. I’m just happy to be here with you. I know it hasn’t been that long, but I missed you.” 

“Do you really think I’d let you stay anywhere else but here? With me?” Dan shakes his head though he smiles as he looks back at his husband. It was the first time they were apart since Italia’s birth. Dan was used to long stays away from home but that didn’t mean it got any easier with time. It came with the job but they were also privileged enough to accommodate these visits. “I want nothing more than being kept awake by Italia… or you.” The blonde smirked. “I missed you. I’m happy you’re here. Truly. We’ll be wrapping up soon and then I’ll be all yours.”

"And we’re happy to be here with you.” Luca says honestly, nodding their head. There was no place Luca would rather be, Though it wasn’t the first time Luca had visited Dan on set, it was the first time with Italia, something they were both looking forward to. “Well we both can promise you that. Probably Italia more than me, but I’m willing to try to stay up later than our daughter.” Luca teases, leaning over to press a kiss to Dan’s cheek, winking back at him. “We missed you  too, babe. And we can’t wait to see you on set.”

Being comfortable around or in care of Italia had been a work in progress for Dan but once he finally got over his own insecurities, he was just obsessed with their baby girl. He missed her so much. Everything. From her scent to the softness of her cheeks as he showered her with kisses to the blissful sound of her coos and giggles. “Well, it’s the first time we share a trailer with a baby, I just want to make sure you’re both comfortable and that we have all we need.” Dan shrugged, smiling at his husband. “Filming is going great. It’s a great younger cast… and that suddenly made me feel ancient when we’re definitely not. I would say it’s tiring but I know what it’s like to have a baby wake you up every two hours in the middle of the night so I don’t think this makes that any justice.” 

Smiling as they watch Dan cuddle Italia, Luca takes a moment to take the sight in, unbelievably happy and so in love with the two of them. “I’m good anywhere as long as you’re beside me, babe. We have space for Italia, so she’ll be fine. We’re lucky she isn’t too fussy.” The brunette points out, shrugging a bit. “Yeah? That’s good, I’m glad the cast and crew is all getting along. Are you sure it’s alright to have us in here with you? I don’t want Italia to be keeping you up and messing you up during filming or anything.”

Dan hadn’t really noticed just how rushed his words were, how he had barely taken a moment since walking through that door, chuckling softly when his husband called him out. He moved instinctively closer to Luca as they offered their baby, rocking her softly in his arms as he kissed her head, getting lost in some sort of baby talk. “I’ll let the team know.” The blonde nods, knowing everyone was excited to meet his child and everyone was always happy to see Luca, too. Luca was not a stranger to set every now and then and Dan was just happy he got the opportunity to have them and their child now, too. “How was Leo when you dropped him at your uncle’s?” He asked almost as an afterthought. Their lives had changed completely but he wouldn’t have it any other way no matter how chaotic it felt sometimes. “How are you? We can order in if you’re hungry, or we can go somewhere though I’m not sure how tired you are.”

"Leo was good. He’s always excited to see Aunt Karen and Uncle David.” Luca was grateful that they could look after Leo whenever they traveled. It was much better than having to kennel him, and Leo always seemed to have a good time at their house. Smiling back at Dan, Luca chuckles quietly, shaking their head. “I’m good, babe, really. You’re so cute when you fuss. We can go grab a bite. You can tell me all about how the film’s going so far. I wanna hear everything.”