Adult Supervision Not Recommended

WHAT

it’s really frustrating how you have to wait like, 2 weeks before you can drink milk after you buy it. i know you gotta wait for the date on the bottle but like why cant the store just sell the milk thats ready?

this is the biggest plot twist of our generation

I thought there was no way he could come out of that looking like a winner and he proved me wrong so hard

Wholesome and badass

The father’s artistic talent is clearly on display here, but I’m actually really impressed with this kid’s wild imagination. Many of his drawings are both conceptually unique and coherent.

is pepsi ok

‘i guess’ i said sulking, my amber hued orbs peering down because of gravity

‘ok.’ i hand you seven large cokes and a pepsi

When I was in middle school I had a edgy super mario OC named Maria, who was from an alternate dimension of the mushroom kingdom, where everything is dark and corrupt and edgy and she had a toad companion that had black and blue emo bangs and I forget his name but I’m pretty sure he played guitar.

hell is right-clicking to save an image and accidentally clicking ‘email image’ and having to wait forty years for some email program you didn’t even know existed to rise from its slumber like some lovecraftian ancient god, meanwhile the fans on your laptop are preparing for takeoff and you stare dead-eyed as the rainbow spirals, spirals, spirals. you wait and suffer this cosmic karma. days pass. “just a few more seconds” you slur. your laptop freezes and the concept of time is no longer comprehensible. your family and friends forget your name and you fade from existence.

me when offered soda: yes. love the bübblés me when offered water: yes! a fresh and sexy beverage me when offered sparkling water: Why Are You Trying To Murder Me Under The Guise Of Hospitality

@millionfish!!!

@spookiiboo

@thievinggentleman