LUBEMAN

Oh ok,I thought I was having a stroke

i need 2 nourish my body so when i die i can contribute maximum nutrients to the trees

this just triggered a memory I didn’t know I had

Yesterday I confused a friend because I called him sir and he was like ??? why are you calling me sir we’re friends? And i had to explain that sir is not a word its a feeling. my mac shutting down for no reason is sir. My cat is sir. My pair of jeans is sir. An email that finds me unwell is sir. Two bugs outside my window are sirs.

I’ve seen this a million times and every time I forget what’s coming

so I’m sitting there, barbecue sauce on my female presenting nipples…

theres this chinese girl in my class who isnt very fluent in english and she asked me if i have a boyfriend and i was like “i dont. i dont like. boys” and she nodded very wisely and went “ah. cooties”