where's my french vanilla?

sometimes the stupid bitch in your life is you and thats all cool

This is when you have that real-real talk with yourself starting with, “Bitch, for real? Come on.’

I don’t know why this is so funny but I legit just laughed for probably 10 minutes straight oh my god

The spiders that live in Buckingham Palace now are probably the descendants of the spiders that lived there during Victorian times - it’s a whole parallel royal family but with spiders

yes ur allowed to have other friends u just have to love me more

A ghost that exists only to drink lemonade at 2am.

That’s just me and I don’t appreciate being called shitty thanks

idk how ppl just be drinking juice and soda all day and not even glance at a cup of water…………….like u don’t feel that? ur body shutting down?

Soda and juice both have water in them, as does food. The body still gets enough hydration to get by.

Yo this is legitimately the funniest shit I have seen today

i go absolutely ape shit buck wild when people ask me if i want to run errands with them like Let’s Fucking Go. and my mind absolutely maxes out of dopamine when they ask if i wanna stop for coffee. and if someone took me to the park id go bonkers in funcking yonkers

i got so high last night that i started ghostwriting for a golden retriever apparently