my family fucked up my life by using spoonerisms interchangeably with their true phrase counterparts since before i was born and now i can’t escape from instinctively saying shit like “im gonna shake a tower”

Nothing has done quite so much damage to my internal vocabulary as the construction #MyNoun. I don't remember if it was from that "tour of my jar, this is my twig #MyTwig" or if it was from "inappropriate attachment to objects, my tuube #MyTuube" but either way it was one of you fuckers on here. I do it every time there's my noun #MyNoun

i need to killl myself but like nonchalantly

time loop with two people in it but one person refuses to acknowledge the loop and pretends to be looping with everyone else. meanwhile the other person is freaking out

One time i got sucked up by a ufo im not joking

what happebned

On god they were being super mean to me like they were flicking my head and shit the grey aliens were flicking my head and punching my nose and giving me noogies and shoving me and shit....

humanconnection.com/beginners

aw what the hell change my leitmotif to a minor key im not driving