#oughhhhhhhh

paul is like - so they're an abombination, right? a monstrosity, imperfect because there is no way lyctorhood can be anything other than a deep perversion. but, they're a success. a big fuck you to john, a unison of two people who only ever wanted to be together anyway and went loud. you can't ever seperate cam and pal now. they're a last-ditch effort, the only available choice to make in a sea of shitty options, the only choice they could ever make, the best and worst thing two people can do, they're a meticulous and thought-out procedure and a mistake and a terrible thing made of love and a perfect person born out of viscera and desperation. they are a contradiction because of fucking course they are. what else could they be?? they are two people so wrapped up in each other they're one and it's - a beautiful tragedy, and a horrible triumph.

life is just occupying the time between headaches