Brotherhood of Letters

I love you 

He had thrown these three words at you before his suicidal mission, before he got on his x-wing and flew to his doom. Your legs started to tingle. Your entire body refused to sleep. It was despairing. You swing yourself out of the uncomfortable bed and put on a shirt. You need to clear your head and what could help better than tinkering with all the starfighters in the workshop? It was quiet. Only a few were awake at this time, some being driven by haunting nightmares, too. You come into the large workshop, a yawning emptiness greets you. You set about getting a fighter into shape; If it weren't for Poe, who suddenly stood next to the plane and looked at you. It seemed to have been expecting you. The curly-haired knows you too well. The lump in your throat froze your words on your lips. His facial features appear sunken, exhausted. Some scars adorn his face. He had his arms crossed over his chest. 

“Am I not worthy of an answer?” His tone was harsh and hurtful. He wanted you to feel his pain you put him through. 

You felt a harsh tug in you. “Poe…I…” You stuttered. Damned. Lying awake every night thinking about what you were going to say to him when you stopped avoiding him didn't pay off. Your pounding heart was too loud; too loud to get the words out.  “You’ve been avoiding me ever since. Do you actually know how I feel or didn’t it concern you that much?” 

Your entire body started shaking. “I wanted to, but-” 

He groaned in annoyance and rubbed his tired face. “But what?” 

“Poe, please...I was scared...afraid I would lose you...I wanted to...fuck” Tears welled up in your eyes because you just can't say what you want at the important moment. He stopped looking at you. His arm leaned against the fighter while his back was turned to you. 

“I shouldn't have waited here for you...” he spoke quietly and suddenly walked past you, denying you the chance to explain yourself. “Poe!” you caledl after him. He didn't want to hear you anymore. Your mind screamed at you to go after him; follow him, it said. In those few seconds you made the decision to go after him. It would be your last chance. You've already screwed it up and now you're trying to save it. 

You ran after him. “Poe, please wait…” you spoke softly, trying not to wake others. Suddenly he turned around, so you almost ran into him. “Stop following me” 

You shook your head. "I can't" 

He just groaned and ran his hands through his brown curls. “What do you want me to do?” Tears threatened his dark eyes. Your whole body wanted to pull him in your arms. 

“I want you to listen to me,” you whispered to him, your fingers twitching to run through his hair. He looked at you pained, his usually bright eyes looking half dead. It literally tore your heart apart. 

“Poe, I love you” Finally. You said it. It flowed out of you like the easiest thing you’ve ever said. It was always easy, but you made it impossible. 

He sucked in a sharp breath, his eyes quickly fixated on the wall. “I have had this for a very long time. I just never wanted to see it because I was afraid I would lose you...I almost lost you..." You just hope that everyone was asleep and no one was overhearing you. “Since your accident, I sat next to your bed day and night praying for you to wake up…” 

“Why didn’t you come when I was awake?” he asked disappointedly, a tremble could be heard in his voice. 

“I was afraid to face the feelings. I know you deserve an answer….I love you Poe Dameron. That’s my answer.” 

Your heart literally skipped a beat as you finally spoke the words that had been on the tip of your tongue for so long, ready to finally be spoken. You smile, unconsciously touching your lips. The black-haired man suddenly grabbed your hand and brought it to his lips. Your heart fluttered as you felt the warmth in your cheeks. Your fingertips tingle as he touched them reverently with his rough lips. 

"Is that true? Are you just saying that to avoid hurting me?” 

It seemed insane to you that he was questioning your feelings. Here you stood with him, showing him the inside of your feelings and he was so insecure from your previous actions. His eyes glitter hopefully, continuing to hold your hand. Your free hand came to rest on his cheek, stroking the skin and his light stubble. “My feelings for you are real. It’s been a long time…” 

For Poe the dam now seemed broken. His fingers squeezed your hand before he pulled you with him and you followed him, heart racing. You didn't even question where he was going. You would follow him anywhere. You knew the way too well. He walked with you to his little quarters. Your feet carried you as if by themselves as you scurry through the hallways. When you finally arrive in front of his room, your heart beats faster again. He entered his code and you practically stumbled into his room with him. You lean your back against the door as Poe stands in front of you. You've been in his room far too many times, you knew every corner of his little home; your home, too. At this moment it felt like you're setting foot in here for the first time. Your eyes searched for him in the dim light. He had his back turned to you, which slightly irritated you. He's the one who dragged you with him. You said his name, hoping he hasn't changed his mind. For that tiny moment, self-doubt overcame you. He finally turned around and looked at you intently. "What's up?", you breathlessly asked. 

He seemed to be studying you, tilting his head slightly. “I’m looking for doubt in your face.” 

“Did you find any?” Your voice was no more than a whisper as you waited for his answer, your fingers tingling. He shook his head finally.  

“Then why don’t you finally kiss me?” 

He sucked in a sharp breath, scratching his chin at his light stubble. “Fuck…watch what you say, Angel”

You cringed when he calls you by the pet name. You feel the adrenaline pumping through your veins. Poe got a wry smile from you. “and what if I don't?”

He finally came towards you, trapping you between the door and his body. Your eyes sparkled challengingly. The dark-haired man grabbed your chin, pushing your head slightly upwards. His thumb traced your bottom lip. What he didn’t expect was your tongue darting out and swiping across his thumb. His mouth opened slightly as he pushed his thumb further into your mouth, caught up in the scene. Completely fascinated by this, he breathed heavily as you watched him with your eyes. His Adam's apple moves heavily. “Angel…”

His thumb pulled out of your mouth. Before you could protest the action, his lips finally pressed against yours. You whimpered into the kiss you've been waiting for so long. Poe's body pressed against you and you pulled him even closer to you by his neck. Tongues danced with each other to feel as much as possible. His hand grabbed your neck, stopping you from letting go of him. This is what you've dreamed of for half your life. You would never row back now. You impulsively dragged his bottom lip between your teeth. The black-haired man moaned deeply into your mouth, reached under your lower legs to lift you up so that your body automatically wrapped your legs around his waist. You hauled away from his lips, sinking your teeth into his neck as he closed the short distance from the door to his bed. He laid you down far too gently on the soft bed and stood in front of you, looking down at you. His dark eyes studied you closely. Your fingers grasped the hem of your shirt, pulling it over your head. Your exposed skin glistened in the light glow of the lamp above his bed. His eyes moved from your face to the swell of your cleavage. His fingers tingled, wanting to touch you, feeling your warmth, but he stayed put. For a brief moment you were afraid that he will back down. 

“Poe?” 

"Yes, Angel?" 

Your heart fluttered quickly as he called you by the nickname again. “Why don’t you come here?” He laughed deeply, finally leaning down towards you and kneeling between your legs. You closed your eyes as his fingers danced over your shoulder, igniting a prickle inside you. “I wanted to look at the work of art in front of me a little more.” You giggled, playfully nudging his shoulder. “You miserable charmer.” the x-wing pilot just shrugged and started covering your cleavage with kisses. “If telling the truth makes me a charmer, then so be it...” he whispered against your heated skin. A sigh left your lips as he kissed his way down the base of your breasts. Painstakingly slowly, he pulled the material of your bra down, taking a nipple between his lips and sucked. Your fingers instantly tangled in his dark curls as he kneaded the other breast with his skilled fingers. He hummed as you pulled a little harder. As a little revenge, he gently bit your nipple, whereupon you pressed your hips against his and clearly felt his cock through his thin pants. You almost groaned at that. As he kissed his way along your breasts, his hands moved to your back, deftly opening the bra clasp. He literally tore it off of you before it fell carelessly to the floor. His face buried itself between your breasts before his lips continued a wet trail down your stomach. He stoped in front of the waistband of your pants and ran his fingers reverently over your covered pussy. “May I?” 

“Fuck, of course,” you replied a little too fast and desperately, making him grin. You lifted your hips so he could drag the annoying piece of clothing off your ass before it too, ended up on the cold floor. His fingers traced the wet spot on your panties. He licked his lips in the process.

“Angel...may I taste you...please? 

You sucked in a sharp breath. Oh Maker. How many nights have you touched yourself while thinking about his face disappearing between your legs? “Please…Poe…” 

In response, his fingers pushed your panties aside before he licked your pussy with his tongue and you instinctively wanted to squeeze your legs together. His hand gripped the flesh of your thighs before he briefly let go of you to push down your panties too. “You taste amazing,” he whispered before he grabbed both of your thighs and you watched helplessly as his face disappeared between your legs. Gasps escaped you as you felt his tongue taking in your wetness and exploring every corner. You supported yourself with your hands to get a better look at the handsome man. His lips closed around your pearl, sucking on it and you felt everything tightening inside you. He also brought his fingers into play, sinking two of them into you with ease. “Poe…oh fuck” He just moaned in response, practically pushing his fingers inside you as his practiced mouth made you scream. Poe slurped you down like a meal, savoring every drop as if you were the most expensive alcohol he could ever taste on his tongue.

“Maker...I'm getting addicted to you...” he mumbled to your pussy before using his lips again, making you see stars with the tireless thrusts of his fingers. You were at the border. Everything inside you screamed to be close to the sweet orgasm that was threateningly approaching. Your hips try to move of their own accord against his lips, but Poe held you in place with his hands, only thrusting harder in response. “Fuck, fuck, fuck…I’m going to cum,” you whine desperately, reaching into his black locks to somehow get the hold you so desperately needed. He moaned tirelessly against your wet pussy, eating up everything he could. Your face contorted sweetly before you finally came with his name on your lips. Everything inside you tensed up before the wave rolled over you and you literally dragged yourself along with it, if it weren't for Poe, whose lips were still on you, but his eyes didn’t miss the movements on your face for a second. 

Breathless, you looked down to him and hauled him up to you by his brown curls. He gazed into your post-orgasm face, stroking your heated cheeks. Your lips immediately claimed his, tasting yourself on them. Your tongue licked away any remnants as he pushed down his pants. In some moments you've seen him shirtless, but now he was completely exposed. He was beautiful. Everything about him. You moved reverently over his defined shoulders, all the way to his slight set of abdominal muscles. He instinctively sucked in a breath as you traced the lines with your fingertips. Your name escaped him throaty, sending shivers down your spine. You glanced at his pretty cock, throbbing and ready. Your fingers wrapped around him, squeezing lightly, making the handsome man whimper slightly. You looked at him in surprise. You never expected a tone like that to come from his lips. You wanted to hear more of it, so you moved your fingers faster. His head fell back into his neck, teeth in his bottom lip as you made him feel good. You wanted to burn this moment into your brain. Drops coated your hand before you leaned forward and licked it with your tongue. Poe let out a growl and grabbed your hair, dragging you back harshly. You gazed up at him questioningly. “We’ll have to save that for another time…I want to feel you…” 

You can't be disappointed for long. Your pussy clenched around nothing as he says that. “Fuck me Poe...” you breathed against his lips as you pulled him down to you. Your legs just pushed further apart, signaling to him that you're more than ready. He was breathing heavily. “Nothing better than that…” he replied, pressing his cock against your entrance, collecting the wetness just to penetrate you in one fluid movement. A groan escaped both of you and Poe paused, gently pushing you onto your back. “Angel, you feel so good…I don’t know if I can last much longer,” he breathed thickly against you. You hugged his neck, wrapping your legs around his waist. “I don’t care…I want you to let go.”

He groaned when you said that and started moving inside you at an unforgiving pace. It stole your breath away. You practically cling to him, kissing the salty skin of his collarbone as his thrusts became more intense and you panted indignantly against his skin. Poe's lips found yours again, tongues mingled. Everything felt too much. His cock was pulsating inside you, ramming the spongy part in your pussy that made you see stars. “Angel…fuck….I love you…” 

“I love you too…” you breathed back, kissing him again, moaning into his mouth as his hands cupped your breast. He lets go of your lips and instead starts taking your nipple between his teeth again. You were in heaven. His thrusts became more and more uncontrolled. You sensed how close he is to cumming. “Poe…cum for me. Cum in me,” you gasped, making him growl. “Nothing better than that Angel, i fill you up nice and full” 

The beautiful man in your arms gathered his last strength, thrusting into you a few more times before he tensed above you and finally came with your name on his lips. Heartbeats raced together as you cling to each other. Your fingers traced over his scalp as he slowly pulled out of you. Suddenly a wry smile spreads across his lips and before you could ask what he's planning to do, he slided further down and sinked his face back between your legs. Your eyes widened in surprise before he started licking you again, his cum leaking out of you... "Fuck, Poe...I-I can't take it anymore..." you breathed out desperately, still sensitive from your previous orgasm. “You’ve got one more left in you, baby,” he breathed against your pussy, continuing to lick the last bits of sanity out of your brain. Your legs were now on his shoulders while he abused your pussy like a madman. You winced as he sucked on your clit, gripping your thighs harshly. You felt the second orgasm approaching at breakneck speed. Everything inside you tensed as Poe continued to hold your clit between his lips as he watched your second orgasm wash over you with a grin. You practically screamed as everything took you away and you fell back. Your heart was racing, almost jumping out of your chest and yet the beautiful man was still lying between your legs. “Poe…no,” you say exhausted as you saw him about to start again. He laughed. “I just can’t get enough of it…enough of you” he replied, lapping at his lips. “Give me a break, you lunatic,” you grumbled, letting Poe gently clean you down below. 

“...but only a short one?” 

You threw a pillow at his face, which unfortunately he caught skillfully. The black-haired man lied in bed with you and pulled you into his arms. You sigh as you could hear his heartbeat, while laying on his chest. His rough fingertips traced your back. “I never thought I would really have you in my arms like this” 

You hummed in agreement. “Not in my wildest dreams” 

“You dreamed about me?” he teased you and you immediately regretted your statement. You didn’t reply, but now the pilot was too curious for his own good. “Tell me about your dreams or are they so embarrassing that you can’t tell me?” How could you ever refuse him the way he looked at you with his deep brown eyes? 

“You’re not going to let it go, are you?” 

He may as well have won the bet.

It took him mere days to grow the most incredibly thick, sexy beard. It was the talk of the entire Resistance base.

It looked so damn good that it sucked all the joy out of winning the bet.

By the time a month passed, his beard was famous in three systems. It was so like Poe Dameron to wear everything well. The alarmingly bright orange flight suit, the swampwater brown uniform. And now this.

Finally, a month was up. A month of having to hear how sexy he looked with a beard. The thing about Poe was that he couldn't look bad if he tried. Infuriating.

His return from a mission today created quite the buzz, since he promised to come back clean shaven. Sure enough, the beard was gone. The sight of his face without a big bushy beard - the way you were used to seeing him - made you smile.

Expecting your typical eye roll or slug on the shoulder, Poe visibly relaxed and smiled back at you across the hangar.

"Hey there," he greeted you after making his way over. "Glad to see you're not a sore loser."

"You wish. I won that bet," you chuckled, knowing full well he enjoyed every moment of his glorious beard and all the reactions to it. "You shaved," you added, motioning to his chin.

"Just in time for our date." He winked at you.

"Uh, what date?" You scoffed, even while your heart skipped a beat.

"The other part of our bet," he explained, motioning between the two of you. "I keep the beard for a month, you go out with me."

"Nooo, that's not what happened. You said you'd keep the beard for a month and show me what it was like to kiss you with it." You shrugged innocently. "Too late for that."

The corner of his mouth curled as he eased into your personal space. "Guess I'll have to grow it back."

"No don't," You protested quickly, quite without thinking. Your cheeks heated as his head tilted curiously.

"You missed this face bad, huh?"

You really did. Dammit.

Might as well go for it. He was beautiful and fun and smart and good at everything, and everyone wanted him. But he asked you out. And you were both finally single at the same time, which was a small miracle.

Boldly reaching for his face, you traced one finger along the perfect, square cut of his jaw. "Yeah, I missed this face."

He almost flinched, he was so surprised by your tenderness, but quickly recovered, capturing your hand in his as you pulled it away. "I have a ton of meetings but, tonight?"

So, after about two years of flirting, you finally got to trace that perfect jaw line and feel his stubble as he kissed you.

"You looked good with the beard, you know," you told him, "but you should never cover up this face."

🪒🪒🪒🪒🪒

Series Info: Title: Starlight Princess POV: Second-person (You x Poe Dameron) Genre: Action, Romance, Drama, Force lore, Canon Divergence Pairing: Poe Dameron x Reader Warnings: Canon-typical violence, emotional trauma, pregnancy, slow-burn, Force visions

Chapters by Act:

Act I: Burning Stars and Broken Light

(The Force Awakens)

Chp. 1 Chp. 2 Chp. 3 Chp. 4 Chp.5 Chp.6 Chp.7

Act II: Echoes of Rebellion

(The Last Jedi)

Chp. 1 Chp. 2 Chp. 3 Chp. 4 Chp. 5 Chp. 6 Chp. 7

Act III: Seeds of a New Dawn

Chp. 1 Chp.2 Chp. 3 Chp. 4 Chp. 5 Chp. 6 Chp. 7

Act IV: The Rise of the Starlight Princess

(The Rise of Skywalker)

Chp. 1 Chp. 2 Chp. 3 Chp. 4 Chp. 5 Chp. 6 Chp. 7 Chp. 8 Chp. 9 Chp. 10 Chp. 11 Chp. 12

Epilogue

You were basically in charge of your small village in Batuu. Poe and a few others had stopped on the planet to refuel and rest. You met him at the market, noticing the Resistance symbol on his satchel. You two got to talking and you brought him and his friends back to your village.

It was some distance from the Black Spire Outpost.

Your village was previously pillaged through by some First Order troops. You asked for Poe's help and he gave it to you.

What was supposed to be a short stop on an Outer Rim planet ended up being a two month's stay. For Poe, at least. He wanted to personally see to it that you and your village got the help you needed, while he let his friends continue their journey.

Poe helped lay more of a foundation again in your village. You already set up the blueprints, he just helped you carry out the plans.

"We make a great team. Honestly, I could use someone like you with the Resistance."

You snort, "Are you offering me a job?" you nudge him with your shoulder and a smirk on your lips.

"If you want it, yeah. Like I said, we need more people like you. People who are still willing to help others," he sighs and looks away from you, instead, looking out on a group of villagers helping build a new set of homes, "A lot of people lost hope and peace when the First Order took over. I want to restore that to them again."

You slowly nod, "I'd love to help, but I need to talk with my council."

"Of course. I'm here for a few more days so you have time," he places a reassuring hand on your shoulder and then goes to join the group of builders.

__________________________

While also helping you rebuild your village, Poe became acquainted with several members of your council. One of them being your cousin who was around the same age as Poe.

As he was helping the builders, Poe pauses to watch you interact with some of the village children.

Your cousin, Sendril, slaps him on the chest, "You okay?"

"Huh? Oh, um, ye-yeah," he struggles to pull his eyes away from you as you laugh at something one of the children say. Then Poe asks Sendril, “Do you have any tips on how to woo someone?”

Sendril cocks a brow and asks back, “You’re trying to woo someone?”

Poe's face scrunches up in confusion, “Why do you have to say it like that?”

Sendril shrugs, "I don't know, you just seem so...serious all the time. Didn't think you'd wanna woo anyone." He continues to place bricks to build a wall of a home.

Poe sighs and joins him, "Well, wooing anyone was the last thing on my mind, but..." he pauses and looks back at you, again. His attention is brough back when Sendril snorts, "Good luck."

"Has Y/N ever been with anyone?" Poe asks as he smears concrete and then places a brick down.

"Once, didn't go well. They left her to go explore the galaxy with someone else. She was heartbroken, never saw or heard of her being with anyone else since."

Poe hums, "Would she be interested?"

"In you?" Sendril asks, looking at Poe. When Poe nods, Sendril scrunches up his nose, "Honestly, I'm not sure. Considering you don't plan on being here for much longer, probably not."

"I asked her if she'd want to come with me, help people rebuild around the galaxy."

"What'd she say?"

"She has to talk to the council. Do you think they'd let her go?"

Sendril hums, "It's likely. Y/N is a great leader and has helped us keep our heads above water since the First Order pillaged us, but we're stronger now. We can continue without her." He stands up and crosses his arms over his chest. Sendril may be around the same age as Poe but he's taller and stronger. He casts an intimidating shadow over Poe as he asks, "And are you going to treat her right?"

"If she allows something to happen between us, then yes. While I've only been here for a short time, I already know Y/N to be a strong, caring, and wise person. I admire how well she's led you all through these tough times. She's also funny and beautiful and kind-"

Sendril rolls his eyes and interrupts him, "Alright, I get it. You're smitten for my cousin. I'll give you my blessing since I'm the only family she has left, however, hurt her-"

"And you'll lay me in the ground, I got it."

Your cousin snorts, "No. She'd do that to you, herself. But I'd help bury your body."

"...Thanks, Dril."

"You're welcome, Poe!"

______________________________

You told Poe you’d be seeing the council that morning to discuss your potential leave.

Outside of the building, Poe couldn’t help but pace back and forth. He understands if the council would prefer for you to stay since the village is still in the process of rebuilding. However, Poe really thinks you could do a lot of good around other parts of the galaxy as well. So he hopes the council sees it too.

It was thirty minutes of deliberation before you stepped out.

“Well?”

You smile at him, “When do we leave?”

Poe immediately pulls you into a hug a swings you around, “You’re going to do amazing things out there, Y/N. I just know it.”

You giggle in his embrace, “Thanks, Poe,” you say as you pull away.

You two stare at each other in silence. Poe’s eyes are soft as he looks back at you and then glances at your lips.

He slowly leans in towards you, giving you time to pull away. But you don’t, so when his lips touch yours, he pulls you closer.

You kiss him back with intensity, the secret feelings you’ve kept buried inside you for the past two months. Those feelings and thoughts of Poe spilling out as you kiss him back.

“So this is how you woo her?”

You both pull away to see Sendril leaning against the council building with a smirk.

You clear your throat and ask, “Woo who?”

Poe sighs and shakes his, “Ignore him.”

Sendril laughs, “Just don’t forget to invite me to the wedding,” he shoots a wink at you and carries on his with his day.

Poe clears his throat, “So, um, should probably start packing. Got the whole galaxy to see.”

You smile brightly at him, “Right.”

You step aside and begin to walk to your home, but then you turn around, “For the record, I do still expect you to woo me, Dameron.”

It was only meant to be a one time thing. 

A one time thing a month ago.

You gasp as Poe’s lips attach to yours with fervor, his tongue sliding parting your lips as his hands roam underneath your long sleeve. Your legs wrap around his waist tightly, making it oh so easy to arch yourself against the growing hardness in his pants as presses you harder into the wall of his room.

Allegedly, Poe Dameron never spent the night more than once with a lover. 

This was the third time this week you've met. 

He pulls back, gasping for air before his lips attach to your neck, licking and sucking that sweet spot below your ear so harshly you almost came on the spot. 

“Poe, wait-” 

He pulls back immediately, his lust darkened eyes meeting yours eagerly. “What is it, baby?” He hums, rubbing his thumbs on the soft skin of your thighs as he waits for, honestly, anything you want.

You smile, shaking your head as your hands thread through the soft curls on his head. This was a dangerous game, you realized. He was someone you couldn't have, no matter how addictive he was.

“I have a flight maneuver early tomorrow, I should head back to my room.” You reply back, letting your fingers drift towards the hot skin of his neck one final team before lowering them  to his chest, patting it gently. His hands gave you one last squeeze before he lowered you to the floor, taking a few seconds to pull your shirt down to where it normally sat. 

He was sweet.

It was dangerous.

Poe smiles softly, almost bashfully, “Wouldn't want you to miss out on sleep.” He agrees, but his hand still lingers on your waist. One word and you could have another night of pleasure.

You nod, gently stepping away from him and gathering your pants from off the floor, quickly stepping into them as you move around his room to collect your few belongings. “I promise I didn't come here just for this, I swear I had an actual question-” You begin to ramble, suddenly feeling the need to explain yourself, why you showed up so late. 

Maker, you have never acted like this before.

Poe shakes his head, moving to sit on his bed as he watches you move through his space. “It’s fine, I’m always glad to be of service to you.” He grins good naturedly, not a trace of sarcasm escaping him. You pause in front of him, mouth opening to say anything to relieve this tension between you both. 

You come up empty.

“Well, I’ll see you tomorrow then.” You say softly, giving him a small wave, as if this man were just some regular pilot and not the man who gave you back to back orgasms just the night before. Poe chuckles softly, his head dropping forward before he begins to stand up, joining your side as you both move towards the door. 

“Sure, Blue.” He responds softly, and you can feel his hand lingering on the small of your back as you step out of his room, the sensation burning into your skin as his touch so often did. You turn around to face him, to try and explain the visit again, but his eyes are already locked onto yours and stealing any words you could have formed from your mouth. The air between you was thick, electricity striking your body with every noise coming from around you in the living quarters. Poe bites his lip as he raises a hand to your face as if to cup your cheek, the motion so quick you barely had time to close your eyes before a small flick hits the end of your noise.

You let out a shocked gasp as he laughs.“Be safe tomorrow, okay? Don't do anything stupid like you usually do when you get stressed.” The bedroom door slides to a close before your eyes even open again. A huff of irritation leaves your lips at his childishness, but you can't help the smile on your face as you take the long walk back to your own quarters. Even within your living space, there was no tie to the man. His room is filled with posters and plans strewn about his floors. The thick smell of cologne that almost seemed to hover like its own atmosphere. His room was so like him, warm, well lived, and well loved. Your room was bare boned. A bed and desk. Stacks of files for missions and maps coordinating future attacks organized by dates on your dining table. Straightlaced and to the point. This was who you both were. Two entities that orbited around one another but never should have met.

This was how it should have stayed.

The admired Black Squadron leader.

The calculated Blue Squadron leader.

The Blue Squadron was only a few achievements short of being on equal par with your fellow Squadrons. Poe and the Black Squadron were the primary team for any rebellion led missions, Red following as second in command. Today was your first chance of the year to prove to the general your squad was more than capable of handling complex missions, to be given the same opportunities as the Black and Red Squadrons. Your team was ready, you had been practicing for months now, and you felt it was now or never to prove to the rebellion what an asset Blue Squadron is.

And you blew it.

It was a standard attack formation, one you had prepped for so many times before. One you could do in your sleep. Your fingers moved robotically as you adjusted your coordinates, your team flying perfectly behind you. Your hand skims over the edge of the tiller, and before you realize it, your mind is drawn back into a memory of the other night.

Poe lying beneath you, his chest heaving as he bites his knuckles, your hand squeezing at his length with nervousness as you tried to sink yourself down onto him. “You couldnt mess this up if you tried, baby.” He had said to you, his hand resting on the back of your neck as you moved hesitantly against him. 

“I don't know, he didn't think I was good at this-” Your words are cut off as his lips sear into yours, his hand threading through your hair to crush your face to his. Your muffled gasp is replaced by a small moan as he sheaths himself into you, already hitting that sweet spot with ease.

“I dont give a fuck what he thought, youre perfect, Blue.” He had hissed, bucking his hips up harshly to draw out another whimper from you.”Say it.” Poe demands, gripping your hips as he plows into you from below, your hands holding onto his shoulders tightly as you nod.

“I’m perfect,” You whisper, trying to muffle your cries against his neck as the sound of your skin connecting reverberated through his quarters. Poe moans in encouragement and you have the desire to bottle up that sound for yourself. 

“Fuck yes, y-your perfect baby, so perfect for me-” He gasps, his thrusts becoming sloppy as his breath begins to come out in shorter spurts. Poe leans forward, pressing hot kisses along your chest, biting into the soft flesh of your breasts. You cry out louder, your climax nearing at a rapid pace as he pounds into you.

“P-Poe, please-”

“Please what baby, where do you want me?”

Another thrust has your vision darkening, a buzz sounding in your ear as he fucks into you harder. It was stupid. This wasn't meant to happen again. Not after the first time. But you were always a sucker for complexities. You brush your lips against his jaw, kissing messily along his skin before whispering into his ear.

“I want you to finish in me, I want you to be the first.”

If Poe wasn't gone before, he was now. His thrusts grew harsher, his fingers bruising your hips as he slams into you, mumbling incoherently. “Fuck, you want me to cum in you so bad, my perfect girl-” He groans, moving one of his hands to your slick folds to rub hard and fast against you. A sharp scream leaves your throat and you topple against his chest, your body pulsing around him tightly as you reach your orgasm. You can feel the last few thrusts before hot spurts coat your insides, Poe whimpering as his head falls against your shoulder, his back heaving as he tries to catch his breath. You tilt your head back. Your eyes glazed over with satisfaction as you both ride out your high together. You let out a little laugh and his hand quickly smacks your ass, Poe’s muffled voice coming from below you.

“I’m sensitive, you sadist.” He growls, and now you can't help the tumble of laughter pouring out from you. Poe lifted his head to glare up at you, but in that moment, your smile was so bright he couldn't help but chuckle along with you.

You shake the memory from your head, your squadron already approaching the final bend sooner than you anticipated.

“Focus, Blue, focus.” You whisper to yourself, watching your squad carefully as you begin your turn. It was sharp, but even a rookie could get through this, and you soar through it with ease. Next was more difficult, but you had practiced, you knew the formation like the back of your hand by now. You carefully lock your X-wing in, breathing out slowly as you wait for the harsher turn. The mind was always so fickle, that's why you preferred equations and plans. You could feel yourself slipping back into that same memory, a heat pooling in your lower belly. Then you hear that maker's damned voice once more.

“One more baby, give me one more.-”

“My sweet girl, taking me so perfectly-”

“I could stay in you forever-”

A hard jolt shoved you deeper into your seat, your X-wing began losing altitude. Your squad's voices blaring through your comms, overwhelming your mind as you tried to straighten your ship. 

“Squad leader-”

“You’ve been hit!”

“Land now-”

And as if your ego couldn't take enough of it, that same voice from your mind rings out, but this time unfortunately through your headset like the others.

“What the hell are you doing, Blue?!”

Your teeth grind together as you pull yourself back into place, barely registering the sound of the flight tower calling your squadron back to base. Everyone was down there. Everyone had seen. 

Cold sweat began to drip down your neck as you carefully took the time to land your X-wing, mechanics quickly running over to assess the damage to the outside exterior. You huff as you climb down the ladder, shaking your hair out of your hemet and relishing in the open air as you struggle to take deep breaths. You can hear your crew clambering to get to you, and you can hear their questions already.

What happened?

What happened?

What happened?

“Blue, what happened?”

Your eyes snap up to meet those soft brown ones you had come to know so well. Poe was gripping your shoulders tightly, his fingers digging into you whether he noticed or not. Your relief at seeing him was short lived as you remembered just why you crashed. 

“I’m fine, Dameron.” You snap, shaking his hands off of you. Poe looks at you first with worry, then agitation. 

“Obviously you're not fine, Blue. You could do this course in your sleep and you crashed!” He hisses, clenching his hands at his side. You frown, and begin to respond before another set of hands grip your shoulder. You only needed one look at Poe's glowering face to know who it was. One you had done so well at avoiding until now.

Red One.

Poe's second in command.

“Hey, what happened up there? You okay?” He asks quickly, his eyes raking over your appearance.You force a smile, brushing him off with ease. 

“Honest mistake, I was-” Your eyes flickered to Poes before returning to the helmet in your hand, “I was just distracted was all.” 

Red One was born on a planet near yours, the commonality making you both acquaintances in flight school. You both studied vigorously, and desired high marks, yet somehow both of you were always beaten by the one named Poe Dameron. The three of you grew and eventually joined the rebellion, him and Dameron taking over the Black and Red Squadron while you were assigned Blue. Despite the large amount of rebellion members, it was easy for you to drift back to him, the reassurance of something familiar in your life. While Poe was off gallivanting with his squadron across the galaxy, you both worked together on unit tactics. It wasn't long before you both began to reach for one another, quick meaningless acts of pleasure when it was needed. It was easy for it to mean nothing to you, because you both knew this wasn't forever, but at least you had one another.

It worked then.

Until Poe came around again. 

Poe was always smart, but he was also warm, and charismatic. People were drawn to him like the sun, wanting a chance to feel that splendor for themselves. Despite the fact everyone wanted to be around him, after a recent 5 month journey he had decided to follow only you around aimlessly. 

“Dameron, don't you have someone else to bother?” You muttered, clutching new plans from the general tightly to your chest. Poe walked behind you with a grin, his hands carelessly tucked into his jacket pockets as he kept up with you.

“When was it a rule that I couldn't spend time with a fellow squadron leader?” He retorts, gently nudging your shoulder with his own. You let out an exhausted sigh, rounding the hallway corner into the row of living quarters right before yours. Maybe you thought you could evade him, you weren't sure, but what you didn't expect was the door nearest you to slide open with a smooth hiss, giving you a clear look into the room. You stop so abruptly Poe barely had time to avoid colliding with your back. 

“What the fuck, Blue-” He complains before glancing down to your face. Your eyes stared blankly into the room, one you had become very familiar with over the years.

Red One’s, now occupied by the pilot himself and a mechanic you recognized from the Droid depot, clothes littering the floor as they cling to each other near the door. Red One's eyes widen and he curses, fumbling around to slip back into his flight suit. 

Now normally, Poe would make a sly comment, or laugh off the awkwardness with ease. But he couldn't. Not when he saw the expression you were making. Despite his games and jokes, he knew you well. Poes fist tightened as he stalked into the room, shoving Red One back a step. “Now, why the fuck would you do this?” He growls darkly, his brown eyes darkening with rage. You weren't sure if you have ever seen Poe like this, not even after a failed mission. Poe never resorted to violence. Never.

You move quickly, stumbling forward to grab onto his arm, tugging him back. “It's fine Poe, it's not that serious-”

“Not that serious? He had the best damn pilot in the rebellion and it wasn't serious to him?” His words make you pause, heat rushing to your cheeks as you tighten your hand on Poe's arm, giving him one last tug. 

“Blue, I can explain-”

“It's fine Red, we're going now.” You respond calmly, carefully dragging Poe out of the room until the door can slide shut. Poe tugs you along swiftly moving down hall after hall until you recognize the path to your own living space. Your hand was still on Poe’s arm, and you could feel his body shaking underneath. 

“Poe, it’s fine-” 

“How long were you two together?” He asks, his tone softer now than it was previously. You glanced up at him, his brown eyes soft once more as they bore down into your own. You blink quickly, thinking of just how many months it had been. 

“Since our first mission to Nevarro.” You answer honestly, and you don't know what to think about the string of curses that leave his lips. “Why does it matter, Poe? It was just a fling-”

“Was it just a fling to you?” He asks suddenly, his gaze hot and piercing. You try to answer, to conjure up some response, but all you can do is shake your head. “We both got what he wanted, and I'm actually surprised he waited this long to find someone else.”

 The look of anger that flashes across his face has your brows furrowing, unsure of why it bothered him so deeply. You open your mouth to speak again before Poe lets out a deep sigh, turning to face you fully as his back rests against the metal wall. His hand reaches up slowly, gently touching the soft skin of your cheek. 

“Still, are you okay?” He asks in a gravelled tone, continuing to stroke your skin with small movements. His touch was far different from Reds, you quickly realized. Red touched you briskly, his hand roaming over your body as if you would disappear. 

Poe touched you with reverence. He kept his movements small, keeping contact with your skin as if you were his center of gravity. “He's an idiot, Blue, you can do so much better than him. He can't even coordinate a landing path to Jakku without using a droid.” A surprised laugh tumbles past your lips, pleasing Poe as he stares down at you. 

“And you can't fly a straight shot to Crait even if you tried.” You shoot back, a smile still tugging at your lips. Poe’s eyes soften as you laugh before him, your usual icy exterior melting away to that young pilot he once knew so many years ago. He takes a breath, biting his lip before he speaks in a soft whisper. “I would have made you my second, if it was my choice.”

You can't control the deep flush that rush to your cheeks as you hear him. “Red is a good second in command, I still have a lot to learn-”

“You think I don't know who drafts our tactile formations? I could practically see you solving the broken flight patterns while reading them.” His voice grows more firm, demanding you to accept his praise. “I can only be a good leader with someone like you supporting me, and I'm sorry they don't realize it yet.” 

You don't cry. You don’t even cry as Poe leans in closer to you, his hand cupping your cheek as he coos words of praise to you in the dimly lit hallway. Red never acknowledged the work you did, smooth talking his way into putting his name on the plans alongside yours. You would shrug it off, under the impression if one Squadron succeeds surely the other would too. This never changed even when he began to take more missions farther out into the galaxy, while you and your squad stayed back, waiting for the chance to chart your own paths.

The truth now laid out so plainly in front of you.

You had been used.

What did you want? Had you wanted Red to choose you? Only you? Did you ever even think you would have options?

Your hands tighten into fists, sharp pain shooting through your hands. Poe pulls back with a lazy smile on his face, but it quickly falters as he sees the scowl etched onto your face. “Hey what's wrong Blue, did I overstep? I’m sorry-”

“I want you to fuck me.”

Poe's mouth hangs open as your words hit his ears, sending palpitations straight to his chest. “You want me to…”

“I want you to fuck me, yes.”

Poe can't help but chuckle as he shakes his head, his hand covering his face as he inhales deeply. “You don't want that, Blue, you're just mad and understandably so-”

“I am choosing this, Poe Dameron, I am choosing you to make me feel something. I know it's just a one time thing with you, I want one night”

Well, now this was an interesting statement. 

This he could work with. 

Poe tries to quell the smile tugging at his lips as he leans back, knocking his fingers on the cool metal wall as if it could cool down the heat racing through him. “Just one? I'm afraid you'll end up wanting more, Blue.” He murmurs, taking the chance to glance back down at you. Your eyes meet his, fiery and unwavering. Maker, you meant it. Poe tried to stifle the groan threatening to spill out of him.

“One night, I just want one night.” You promise, stepping in even closer to him. With one deep breath, your chest would rub against his, and you tried to ignore the shaky breaths emitting from the man before you. 

“But I want to set some ground rules first.” You say in a soft voice, moving your hand so it begins to trail up his arm. Poe can only nod as he stared down at you, captivated by your movements. 

“This happens in your room, I don't need you making a mess of my space.” Poe can't help the snort that leaves his mouth, but he nods his head anyways. “Two, I want to be in charge.” You were proud of how little your voice wavered as you spoke, “I get to decide how this goes.” 

Your words make Poe's jaw twitch. How often did you get what you wanted with Red?

“I promise I will be your devoted servant.” He agrees, reaching for your hand and pulling it to his lips, placing a slow and sensual kiss on your pulse. 

Maker, this was going to be harder than you thought. 

“This is a one time thing, we don’t acknowledge it after, and we dont let it change our working relationship.” 

Poe's throat only constricts a little before he nods, “Of course.” He drops your hand gently, waiting for you.

Now Poes stares at you with a burning look in his gaze, his jaw clenched as he stares between you and Red One. 

“Distracted? Blue, you could have hurt yourself.” He hisses, running a hand through his hair in an irritated manner. You frown, noticing the crowd gathering around you all now. 

“It was a mistake, a stupid one, but I’m fine-”

“Maybe if you weren't so busy sleeping with our Squad leader you wouldn't have messed up.” The insult stabs through your chest. You turn slowly to face Red One, a grim look on his face as he sighs before continuing, “I really thought you were smarter than this Blue, you really couldn't wait for me to explain what happened before you just moved on to the next available guy who would fuck you-”

You honestly aren't sure who moved first. One minute your hearing began to ring, your heart thundering in your chest, and then here you were, standing over a bleeding Red. Your fist felt like it was on fire but honestly, you didn't care. Then you feel Poe’s arms wrap around your waist, tugging you back as people begin to shout, surging in to watch the scene. 

“All those years I spent underneath you were absolute shit compared to what Poe’s made me feel in one month-” You spit out, years of rage boiling over as you watch Red sit up, his hand shakily touching the blood pouring out of his nose. “And I hope you can prove you know how to draft a mission plan because I’m going first thing tomorrow to get your name removed from all of my work, my work.” You seeth, tugging against Poe's grip one last time. You can feel his face near yours, his nose gently running along your cheek as he squeezes your arms gently. “Let's get out of here, Blue.” He whispers, and you nod, giving Red one last glare before moving through the parting crowd. You swear you can almost hear cheers as you and Poe enter the flight squads quarters, shutting yourself off from the rest of the world. 

You feel yourself enter a room, and you finally feel the world unblurring as you realize Poe brought you back to your own quarters. You can feel him gently pull at your clothes, removing your flight suit with great care, reaching into your drawers to find some comfortable clothes he slips onto your body without an ounce of alternative means. A sudden hiss leaves your lips as he bumps his hand against your injured one, and he quickly moves you to your bed. He curses before you, kneeling between your legs as he tentatively grabs your hand, assessing the broken skin on your knuckles. 

“Shit baby, you got him good.” He smiles, taking a clean rage and gently dabbing at the bloodied wounds. You wince and he immediately pulls back, waiting for you to let him continue. 

“I shouldn't have hit him,” you mumble, biting your lip as he hits another painful spot, “I’ll probably get written up.” 

Poe snorts, shaking his head. “I dont it won't be any worse than what he's gonna get. Plagiarizing plans? Falsifying records? He's lucky if the general even lets him get drinks for us.” You can't help the laugh that tumbles out of your throat, nodding along to his words. He quickly wraps your hand in a simple bandage, just tight enough to keep your hand from throbbing. You meet Poe’s gaze as he looks up at you, crouched between your legs with a serene look on his face. 

“What?” you ask softly, gripping your sheets with your other hand. Poe just shakes his head, “So, I've given you a better month than he could in years?” 

You groan as you drop your head to his shoulder, embarrassment flooding your senses. “I didn't mean to say that in front of everyone.” Poe just laughs, letting his hands run up and along your thighs. 

“It was pretty hot to see you claim me in front of everyone like that, baby.” He smiles, gently using his hands to lift your face so he can look at you. You flush brightly, your eyes unable to look anywhere else but his gaze. “Im sorry, I'm sure that was uncomfortable for you-”

 Poe shakes his head, his nose brushing along yours. “You still don't get it, huh?” Before you can speak again he pushes the two of you up and back, laying you down onto your bed as he hovers over you. “I want to be yours, Blue, I think in some way I always have been.” He says softly, intertwining your hands together as he presses them beside your head. “I've slept with people, yes, but none could get you off my mind.” His lips gently trail down your neck, biting and kissing at your skin. You gasp, your body reacting so easily for him. “You were always there, since flight school, in my mind, always competing with me. Then I leave, and I come back to tell you-” He carefully slips his hand under the edge of your shirt, feeling your skin with a gentle touch. 

As if he can't believe this is still happening.

“I come back and see you look at him like that, and I would have supported you baby I would have, but-” He hisses as your body arches against him, brushing together as heat begins to flood your body. “Lucky for me he was an idiot.” Is all Poe can say as you crash your lips to his, gripping his jaw tightly as you angle him in closer to deepen the kiss. “Fuck, I can only ever think about you Blue-” He gasps as your hand trails in between you, running your fingers along the seams of his length. “I only want to think about you, I want to be yours forever-” He rambles on, your hand moving rhythmically against him as you listen to him beg. His words fill your chest as he speaks, so plainly yet undoubtedly true. 

“Poe?” You say softly, watching as his eyes open to find yours, dark and glazed over with lust, but his attention undivided. You smile softly, only slowing your movements ever so slightly as you take a breath to speak. “I'm yours.” You whisper softly, your smile widening as you see his eyes begin to water. You gasp as you tugged up, pressed against his chest as he buries his face into your neck, holding you impossibly tight. 

“Fuck, Blue, I almost didn’t last when I heard you say that.” Poe grumbles, and you laugh loudly as your hands pull his hips to yours. 

“We're just getting started, Dameron, I can't have you tapping out so early.” You grin, letting your hands snake up the bros expanse of his back to caress his head. An idea strikes you as you hold on to one another, your hands running along the carved muscles of his body. 

“Poe?” You ask softly, turning your head to look at him as he pulls back slightly from your neck. “Can we try something?” 

His smile is lethal. 

“How do you want me, baby?”

You carefully pull back from his embrace, eyeing him playfully as you turn onto your hands and knees, movings towards the headboard with a sway to your hips, Poe’s eyes practically glow with desire, and you feel his hand run along your spine, gripping your hips dangerously before you grab onto the headboard, arching yourself against him. You can feel his chest contracting behind you, his hands moving to your hips instinctively. You loved this, feeling so crowded by his body and scent.

Poe wasted no time in shucking down your pants, tilting your head to meet his lips in a fiery kiss as the cool air of your room blows against your exposed lower body. You reach a hand behind you, finding the edge to his pants and working to pull them down, releasing his cock between the both of you. 

With a practiced precision, Poe sheathes himself into you, a satisfied gasp leaving your lips. You can already feel the headboard creaking under your grasp, but you don't care.

“Shit, baby, I'm not gonna last long-” He pants, kissing your neck while giving you another small thrust. He leaves one hand on your waist as the other snakes to your slick folds, teasing you gently as you let out another moan. “I don’t care, just fuck me Poe, please-” You whine out, pushing yourself against him with need. You gasp as you feel a sharp slap to your clit, only making you infinitely wetter. 

“I’m going to take my time fucking my girl.” He growls, and pulls you in for another thrust. Your face turns towards the board, hot pants of air escaping you as he thrust into you from below, perfectly hitting that spot within you that makes your toes curl with pleasure. He leans forward, wrapping a hand over yours as he fucks you into the headboard, his other hand tightening on your hip as he slams into you.

“My beautiful girl, so wet for me. Do you like making me so hungry for you? Driving me wild seeing you so lost in pleasure? Absolutely drenching my cock?” His words almost send you over the edge alone, only capable of giving him a choked sob in reply. 

He fucks into you mercilessly, grinding himself against you with every thrust, his own orgasm approaching as quickly as yours. “Fuck, baby, you were made for me, never gonna let you go-” You feel him shake as he begins to unload into you, his hand rubbing tirelessly over your clit and quickly sending you over the edge into your own pleasure. 

“Fuck!”  You cry out, shaking as he continues to thrust into you, emptying himself entirely. The room is filled with pants as you both lean against each other, your hands trembling as you use the headboard to hold yourself up. You feel so impossibly full. You shift gently, feeling his body tense behind you as his head rests in the crook of your neck. 

“Still with me, Dameron?” You smile, turning your head to gently press a kiss to his temple. You can feel him smile against your skin, placing his own soft kiss on your shoulder. “Always, baby.” He whispers back softly, lifting his head to gaze at you with pure adoration. You eventually separate, slinking down into your bed wrapped in each other's embrace. Any other clothes were shed, the need for urgency long behind you both as you tak in these moments of being utterly at peace. 

You rest your head on his chest, your eyes drifting close as you listen to the steady beat of his heart. “Poe?” you ask softly, running your hand along his sternum. You can feel him shift, knowing he was looking down at you.

“Yeah, sweet girl?” He asks gently, running a hand through your hair and you swear you are in heaven. 

“When did you realize you liked me? You…we, we’ve just been together for so long and I never realized.” You ask, turning your head up to look at him easier. Poe smiles, so easy and carefree, and just shrugs. 

“Maybe always?” 

You swat at his chest, a chuckle rumbling in him as he grabs your hand, pressing a kiss to your pulse. “Be serious!” You scold, but the smile on your face tells him all he needs to know.

“I am serious. It was always you.”

Your smile only grows softer as you listen to him, your hand continuing to rub small circles onto his skin. “I’m sorry I took so long to realize it.” You whisper to him, reaching up to rub his jaw. Poe grins and moves over you, flipping you both until he rests on top of you. He surges forward,  kissing you as if you had all the time in this world. You both stay close, his nose brushing against yours as you gaze into each other's eyes. Poe speaks, whispering into your ear, and you know he means it.