Sensual Brat

I feel like ive seen everyone’s true colors, I feel like Im back to square one, in highschool, sitting alone just being spiteful, full of deppression and hate for everyone around me. They hurt the person I love the most in a way I dont think he’ll ever forget. And now they are giving him the cold shoulder, when they were the ones in the wrong. They tried to make him look like an abuser, a psycho, a huge piece of shit, and it was all bc some stupid girl made up a story, and bc everyone had their own issues they were too coward to speak about, but still, we are the ones getting the cold shoulder. Im sick of seeing my partner cry and suffer, these were his best friends, and they didnt blink an eye before accusing him of all the lies they made up. I hate them and I never want to see any of them again, but these were aki’s friends, and he is the one suffering the most. Im just full of poison and anger, and I cant do shit. And they keep on living their lives as if nothing happened. I highly doubt they have any idea of the damage theyve done bc when I talked to redacted she didnt even say sorry to me. I dont believe shit their sugar coated words saying they were worried about me, like shit you were, I really hope they rotten in hell and have all of this come back to them

I dont even want to write anymore, im done

I hate all of you

Im in Monte with a few friends and what started as something fun turned out to be a sick joke. Today was my first time fishing something big for real. Bc of the excitement and that it started pouring on us as we got it out the water,we werent sure what kind of fish it was. But it was huge. I told Akira and I wanted to gift it to our neighbors and look like the cool person that provided dinner!!! But it ended up being an indefence unuseful inedible big fish. I feel stupid. And we couldn’t unhook it, so we had to left it to die, because said neighbor bour was napping and couldnt help us. Now I have to take care of all that by myself tomorrow, unhook it and throw a dead fish in the water.

I was so excited and now I just feel like I never want to fish again.

Everything was a mess. When tomas found out I was dating Akira out of everyone in the world I picture he actually believed Id cheated on him but that never happened. He tried calling me and sent me some harrassing messages. it scared me to death at the time but atst I didnt care.

My parents didnt get a divorce but they did separate. Mom moved out to our older house amd she still hangs with some of the men in question. I try not to think about that. I miss my relationship with her but I just cant forgive her. And it seems shes been like that for years, we just didnt know.

Im better now. Our new apartment is gorgeous and I live near milly now, they have adopted a new border called Bumi.

I want to start therapy eventually, I feel Im somehow still hurt and some random thoughts come back from time to time. I still cant speak up for myself and feel guilty whenever I do something for me. I wasnt this passive before, now I cant handle conflict and I feel super bad whenever someone calls me out. I cant decide ok things, I always please others first.

Im working for Aki and on Momo’s redebut video, but I dont think im improving much. On my art and stuff I mean. I have little space for games and when I could work on my stuff im tired of drawing. I also have no patience at all when it comes to art.

Im better. I have a dream house and a dream partner. I just need to work on my anxiety and fears. Im way too stressed about money and silly things.

It's been a couple of rough years, actually, I think I was doing rather good a year ago compared to now, although it didn't feel like it. After a whole year of up and downs in my six year long relationship with my boyfriend, he broke up with me a week before our 6th aniversary. I don't blame him for it. I'm not going too deep, I did some awful things, but I still can't shake the feeling that we wouldn't have had lasted so long together if it wasn't for me. We started dating really young and we had some childish behaviours. Despite everything, despite feeling ignored for a whole year, everything I did was thinking about us. But talking to him and discussing is like talking to a wall. We still talk, nearly everyday. We are both going through some shit with our families. And idk, it sometimes helps talking to him, but most of the time its really hard for me to keep up. Deep down im still hurting, and I know he is too, but what I do know is that I dont want to go back to how things were before, yet I dont think rn is the right moment to cut ties. Atst im scared?? Anxious?? Of my old highschool classmates talking about this whole bullshit.

I feel like its hard for me to trust in people, I feel like I always give more than what I receive, that I live for everyone else but for myself, and whenever I do something for myself I feel guilt.

Apart from this whole madness, the very same day we broke up, I found out my mother had been cheating on my dad for quite some time. They were highschool sweethearts, and I know its wrong for me to that? But I always projected my relationship to be like theirs. And that day, my whole world crumbled. I did many others things I shouldnt have done, I butt in, I took screenshots, I talked to both of them. Despite all that, and knowing I was spying on her, she decided to meet this guy again, and I didnt tell my father, I told her I knew what she was up to, and she told my father herself, thinking she could lie and say they were just meeting to end the whole thing, but I had everything screencaptured. That started the 3WW, they started screaming, mom saying everything was my fault, she even slapped me twice. I decided to got o a friends' with my sisters and spent the night there, just to go back and see that they would like to "try and fix things" again. Now a couple days after that and seeing nothing has changed my father wants the divorce, although he hasnt told her yet. And here I am, jobless, sleepless, loveless, just waiting for animal crossing to come out for my life to have some meaning

Have a picture of me