The Hermit Gremlin

Xiao Xingchen.

High up in the clouds, all alone, cheng luan beneath his feet, shen qingqiu in his arms and it's the only moment he'll have with him, one last time before he lays him to rest forever. The cold wind rushing around him sending chills down his spine, but it wasn't anything compared to the absence of warmth in his arms.

He'd taken off his outer robe and bundled up shen qingqiu as if it would warm him up and bring back some color to his face. The last ounce of dignity he could provide and it was met with silence instead of resistance like he was used to, once upon a time.

He hadn't seen Shen qingqiu in so long he almost forgot what he looked like and liu qingge found himself realising he'd forgotten what shen qingqiu's voice used to sound like. It knocked the air out of his lungs as he pulled shen qingqiu closer to him, as if the warmth of his own body might wake him up. That he'll smile at liu qingge and say he had a weird dream that felt like he slept for a long time and it would be over.

His gaze full of incredible tenderness as he took in shen qingqiu's sleeping face. Shen qingqiu didn't wake up. He placed the back of his hand on his forehead, devoid of any warmth. Softly traced his fingers down to his temples, cheekbones, cheeks all cold as ice. He traced the shape of his brow, his eyes, down his slender nose ridge, fingertips upon his cupid's bow and he stopped, he wouldn't dare touch shen qingqiu's lips, not like this. He looked down at his peaceful face, cupped shen qingqiu's face with his hand as he brought him close, resting his own forehead against his and then the tears came, quietly.

For the first time since Shen Qingqiu's passing, Liu Qingge finally understood what this moment meant for him, for everyone waiting on CQM. He was inconsolable as he cried with his tears spilling on shen qingqiu's cheeks but the quietness of his grief surprised him the most, it snuck up on him when he least expected it. The only person who could've given him warmth and comfort was held in his arms, lifeless and silent.

His voice cracking as he whispered, "Forgive me, forgive me for taking so long. Forgive me for all the things I couldn't do."

As CQM was nearing, he lifted his forehead away from the coldness of shen qingqiu, gently wiped away the wetness of his tears from shen qingqiu's face, and cleared his throat. He was still the War God of Bai Zhan Peak, he needs to act it too. He straightened his posture and looked at Shen Qingqiu's face one last time as he tucked a stray strand of hair behind his ear.