humanity is a fuck, man

[Image Description: A tweet from user @realWaxLadrian reading “come on childproof weed packaging, you know it’s me” /End ID]

movie director: lets make something that nobody likes

working at a dispensary is funny. guy came in and asked for "weed for guys" and i said "what do you mean" and then he just apologized and left

For Christmas I want a bunch of good socks actually and $1000000

women who aren’t even 30 yet

leonardo dicaprio type of post

We’re all having a midlife crisis leave us be

oh no oh no please not this post please

reblog to get your bones rattled at the dubious convention

everyone deserves a lifechanging lesbian experience. not a woman? simply have a lifechanging experience with a lesbian. im thinking a noble quest or hiding a body together or something.

i love it when the final song on an album is called something like "goodnight" or "farewell" except for when the beatles did it because they sang about problematic themes and three of them got yhe fourth one pregnant in the early days when they all looked alike and nobody could remember which one it was so they all got abortions just in case

‘ She breasted boobily to the stairs, and titted downwards’ is the greatest fucking sentence I have ever read.

THE ORIGINAL??

(smh) Never thought I’d see it in the wild. Yet here it is. :)

if this gets more notes than the memedaddy repost it would be really funny actually

its fucking dember.

using gluten-free potato flour, chickpea water, artificial sweetener, lactose-free milk, and that ‘cant believe it’s not butter’ shit to make what scientists are calling “improbable cake”

this sounds improbable. can i have a slice?

unlikely

So does it really exist? Or is it a lie??

Two things can be real.

Please do not continue to question the probability of my statistically aberrant cake

If no one else has me I know Father Strange has me