20 years from now on when I dream about my friends I will look like I could be someones parent and they will still look like kids.

My intelligence was always my favourite thing about myself but sometimes I really wish I was less gifted so that I would'nt feel the guilt of wasting my potential everytime I catch myself dreaming about spending my life painting and writing instead of using my brain for something that could change the world of science

I don't like how jacked Mo Ran is. Like I'm bawling my eyes out, throwing up, crying over how beautifully heart wrenching this story is and then I turn over the page and there it is.... MO RANS GIANT FUCKING TITS STARING AT ME, RUINING MY CRYING SESSION

I think the answear to all of my problems is living and acting like 13 yo me again because that guy was full of joy and whimsy while actively walking through hell.

Starting to feel more and more disgusted with myself because I don't pass anymore. I thought I was over it and accepted that I had to wait for medical transition (which I'm actively working on getting) and not giving a fuck until then but it's gettig worse every day. I know it sounds bad but I mainly feel this way because I feel like all of my friends think I'm faking being trans and that they just view me as a ugly, disgusting women who fetishizes the fact that she is able to have a gay bf... But starting to put in more effort would kinda make it worse. I still would'nt pass and I would have to deal with my bfs family being gross to me again (when I was passable they constantly made up shit about me, called me disgusting and tried kicking my bf out for being with me. Now that I look like a girl, they are so sweet to me... ) I just can't do this shit anymore. I live in a country with access to gender affirming care, I was lucky enough to live my whole childhood and teenage years as a boy. I don't have parents so I can do whatever I want. I will work in a field where noone gives a fuck but I somehow still live in a situation where just looking somewhat like a guy again would ruin my life in a way. I honestly don't know how 5-18 yo me did it. I just couldn't deal with the psychoterror from everyone anymore. I'm just so over everyone not letting me be. This is what people mean when they say that most detransitioners are trans and just doing it because of their curcumstances. I just can't handle loosing the peace and quit. I'm so tired over everyone hating me for simply existing. I wish I could just wake up in a life where it wasn't this way. I'm so jealous of transpeople who actually have supporting spcial circles and that can transition without having to keep it secret from certain people

Just downed 2 iced americanos after taking my adhd meds. Pray for me

It has been barely 6 weeks of cold wheather and I'm currently on my 3rd cold. My imune system ist so fucked