luas

did it hurt, sirius? when he looked at her like that, the way you used to look at him and did it hurt, that it didn’t hurt enough, that it could never hurt enough because you loved him so wholly it didn’t matter? not as long as you got to keep this, keep him, because you would have walked beside him in any life he chose, even one where you were only ever the best man, because he was the best man you ever knew. but, did it hurt, sirius, when he chose her? not because she wasn’t worthy but because for the first time in your life, you weren’t his first choice, the first name on his tongue called out without hesitation, the first laugh that turned his head, the first person his eyes sought out in a room full of people, but still you didn’t care, you’d never care, because you loved him more than pride, more than reason, because it was him, because he was happy and that was enough. did it hurt, when you held his son for the first time, and saw james’s grin and lily’s eyes looking up at you from someone else’s face? did it hurt, that the world was supposed to give them forever? did it hurt, when you lost them both in one night? and knew, without question, that he had died loving her and did the weight of all you didn’t know hit you? you would die loving james potter. you were never meant to survive him.