namasté

CARE

Consent - first of all, u should always get a person’s consent as to wheater they really want to try/do what you are thinking of - u can get their consent or non-consent by asking, all other ways are actually less safe but if u and ur [sex]partner have had a convo about how you two specifically want to show each other consent and non-consent, you can choose careful alternatives - there are a lot of possible ways, just talk about it and make sure it’s clear for both and that there is a clear yes-way that involves an response of the other person - “if you do nothing it’s a yes” i personally think is a vague, unsafe way and it’s really not that hard to find a clear response the other person could give without “ruining the mood” and this text is only long because I am trying to be exact so that no-one gets me wrong, also you won’t need to read that everytime after you got it plus practicing it will make it easier for you and your [sex]partner to express ‘no’ and it creates intimacy to know you can feel safe with each other.

Attention - if you both gave consent (otherwise you don’t do what you planned to, that’s the little price to pay for ensuring and creating trust and comfort), i have a reminder that i think the pornindustry made more necessary than ever: pay attention to your [sex]partner - if you notice something odd, example they suddenly look unhappy, just*

Reassurance - *stop and ask if everything is alright. You also need to reassure consent if your [sex]partner had consented to something and now you want to do that again.

Evaluate - the term sounds very formal but what I am actually just talking about is: afterwards, you should talk about what happened. that can be as simple as “are you comfortable? “ and i know even that question takes some guts but it’s  worth it and it gets easier by practicing.

I know it sounds complicated, far away from what some people are used to these days and you may not like how reading this made you feel. if you read to this point i want to thank you that you cared enough to do that and if this phrase catched your eyes but you didn’t read the rest feel free to do so now i’d be glad if you do. if this makes you uncomfortable because of your past, weather you feel like you have been treated poorly by someone (not because they didn’t follow this literally but because they didn’t give you the feeling that they cared) or like you treated someone else poorly (same goes for this one: not because you didn’t follow this but if you feel like if you’re honest with yourself you just didn’t care in the past) : this can be your chance to start doing better, don’t shame yourself like crazy, you can do better, i wholeheartedly believe that.

omg i think i’m gonna have nightmares of that intro,

i kinda stan the whole commercial looks like they don’t want to sell this shit lmao,