𝓲. ⠀⠀ 𝟷𝟷:𝟷𝟷 ⠀⠀ ❛ ♥︎

⭐︎⠀ ⠀⠀a    look    into    peri’s    spotify.

⭐︎⠀ ⠀⠀a    look    into    peri’s    tabs.

                                      ✿  ͏͏۬͏ ͏     ▸     ℛ𝑒𝑐𝑜𝑟𝑑 𝑝𝓁𝑎𝑦𝑖𝑛𝑔    ﹕   

                                  a   part   of   peri   feels   guilty   for   trying   to   push   kai   away   when   she   knows   he’s   only   trying   to   be   there   for   her.   especially   now,   when   her   best   friend   barely   has   time   for   anything   else   because   he’s   completely   wrapped   up   in   his   new   relationship.   she   isn’t   blind.   she   isn’t   stupid   either.   she   can   tell   kai’s   actions   carry   more   meaning   than   simple   friendliness.   she   just   refuses   to   put   a   name   to   it   because   she   doesn’t   want   to   assume   something   that   might   not   even   be   there.

she   already   made   that   mistake   once.

back   then,   she   spent   years   misreading   her   best   friend’s   actions,   convincing   herself   that   maybe   all   those   moments   meant   something   more.   and   look   where   that   got   her.   a   broken   heart   and   a   confession   that   never   left   her   lips   because   by   the   time   she   gathered   enough   courage,   he’s   already   dating   someone   else.   sometimes   she   wonders   if   things   would   have   been   different   if   she   had   been   braver.   if   she   told   him   how   she   felt   before   another   woman   came   along.   would   he   have   chosen   her   instead?

but   then   she   wouldn’t   have   met   kai.   and   somehow   that   thought   makes   her   pause.

the   truth   is,   she   isn’t   pushing   kai   away   because   his   kindness   makes   her   uncomfortable.   she’s   pushing   him   away   because   she’s   afraid.   afraid   that   if   she   lets   him   get   too   close,   she’ll   end   up   falling   for   him   too.   and   what   if   history   repeats   itself?   what   if   she   spends   months   carrying   feelings   she   doesn’t   know   how   to   express   until   she   loses   her   chance   all   over   again?   she’s   tired   of   being   the   person   who   loves   first   and   strongly.   tired   of   always   being   the   one   carrying   feelings   alone.   sometimes   she   wonders   what   it   feels   like   to   have   someone   risk   everything   for   her   instead.

“   bakit   mo   muna   ako   gustong   makasama?   ”   she   asks   teasingly,   a   grin   spreading   across   her   face   because   she   desperately   wants   to   keep   the   conversation   light.   “   dahil   cute   ako   no?   ”

she   continues   acting   playful,   throwing   jokes   around   to   hide   how   nervous   she   suddenly   feels.   it   isn’t   because   kai   makes   her   uncomfortable.   if   anything,   he   makes   her   feel   far   too   comfortable,   safe   even.   the   problem   is   that   she   still   doesn’t   know   if   he’s   being   serious   or   if   she’s   simply   reading   too   much   into   everything   again.   and   honestly,   she   still   needs   time.   time   to   move   on   from   her   best   friend   properly   before   she   starts   opening   her   heart   to   someone   else.

someone   like   kai.

because   she   already   knows   he’s   different.

“   grabe   ka   naman,   ”   she   says   with   a   shy   laugh.   “   nakaka-pressure   naman   yan.   parang   pag   hindi   ka   pumasa,   kasalanan   ko   pa   ata.   ”   she   shakes   her   head   immediately   after.   “   pero   hindi.   i   know   papasa   ka.   and   honestly,   you   deserve   a   award   after   surviving   your   exams.   ”   without   thinking,   she   reaches   over   and   pats   his   head   gently.   the   second   she   realizes   what   she’s   doing,   her   hand   immediately   retreats   and   she   looks   away   for   a   moment,   suddenly   finding   the   table   much   more   interesting.

when   she   looks   back   at   him,   though,   the   teasing   is   gone.   because   there’s   no   joking   in   kai’s   voice   anymore.   no   playful   excuse.   no   attempt   to   brush   things   off.   just   sincerity.   and   somehow   that   honesty   makes   something   inside   her   soften.   the   walls   she’s   been   trying   so   hard   to   keep   up   start   lowering   little   by   little.   not   completely.   not   yet.   but   enough   for   her   to   let   him   in   further   than   most   people   ever   get.   “   paano   kung   parati   kitang   kailangan?   ”   she   asks   quietly,   meeting   his   gaze   this   time.   “   you’ll   always   be   there   for   me   too?   ”

               kai    knows    exactly    what    she's    doing.    when    her     hand    reaches    over    to    pat    his    head,    he    doesn't    pull    away.    instead,    he    softly    tilts    his    head    upward,    leaning    into    the    gentle    touch    of    her    palm    with    a    sense    of    comfort    that    speaks    louder    than    any    words.    as    she    quicky    pulls    back,    his    gaze    briefly    follows    her    hand    before    setting    on    her    face,    catching    the    faint    flush    on    her    cheeks    before    she    looks    down    at    the    table.

“    paano    kung    sabihin    ko    na    dahil    cute    ka?    but    let's    be    real,    ’mas    cute    talaga    ’ko    eh,    sorry,    ”    a    small,    tender    smile    tugs    at    his    lips.    he    reaches    out,    his    fingers    lightly    tapping    the    surface    of    the    table    right    next    to    her    hands    to    draw    her    attention    back    up.    “    basta    iced    chocolate    lang    na    reward,    okay    na    ko–    kung    gusto    mo    may    kasamang    pa    ngang    kiss    sa    pisngi,    eh.    ”

but    then    something    shift    in    the    air.

the    playful    atmosphere    thins,    replaced    by    a    quiet    stillness    as    peri    finally    looks    up.    the    question    she    asks    lands    softly    between    them.    paano    kung    parati    kitang    kailagan?    kai    doesn't    hesitate.    he    moves    slowly,    setting    his    posture    to    show    he    isn't    going    anywhere.    he    reaches    across    the    space    between    them,    his    pinky    gently    nudging    her    hand    playfully.    he    keeps    a    respectful    distance,    but    his    entire    focus    shifts    entirely    to    her,    offering    a    presence    she    can    lean    on    without    feeling    pressured.

only    then    does    he    look    back    up    into    her    eyes,    meeting    her    gaze    with    complete    sincerity. 

𝗼𝗱𝗱𝘀   𝗼𝗳   𝗲𝗻𝗰𝗼𝘂𝗻𝘁𝗲𝗿 ／ 𝑐𝑒𝑟𝑡𝑎𝑖𝑛   . 𝗼𝘂𝘁𝗰𝗼𝗺𝗲 ／ 𝑝𝑜𝑠𝑖𝑡𝑖𝑣𝑒   .

             𝑓𝑜𝑟𝑡𝑢𝑛𝑒   𝑓𝑎𝑣𝑜𝑢𝑟𝑠   𝑡ℎ𝑒   𝑏𝑜𝑙𝑑   .

𝗼𝗱𝗱𝘀   𝗼𝗳   𝗲𝗻𝗰𝗼𝘂𝗻𝘁𝗲𝗿 ／ 𝑐𝑒𝑟𝑡𝑎𝑖𝑛   . 𝗼𝘂𝘁𝗰𝗼𝗺𝗲 ／ 𝑝𝑜𝑠𝑖𝑡𝑖𝑣𝑒   .

             𝑓𝑜𝑟𝑡𝑢𝑛𝑒   𝑓𝑎𝑣𝑜𝑢𝑟𝑠   𝑡ℎ𝑒   𝑏𝑜𝑙𝑑   .

   the   city   shone   beneath   them,   the   windows   looking   like   tiny   constellations   against   the   darkness.   tate   stood   beside   daea   on   the   rooftop—it   wasn't   often   he   stayed   still   long   enough   to   appreciate   the   skyline.   usually,   if   he   was   on   a   roof,   it   meant   he   was   waiting   for   the   next   police   siren   or   the   next   scream.   tonight,   though,   he   wasn't   listening   for   either.   "...can   i   ask   you   something?"   he   began,   only   to   shake   his   head   almost   immediately.   "no,   wait.   actually,   don't   answer   that   yet.   i—"

a   nervous   laugh   escaped   him.

𝗼𝗱𝗱𝘀   𝗼𝗳   𝗲𝗻𝗰𝗼𝘂𝗻𝘁𝗲𝗿 ／ 𝑐𝑒𝑟𝑡𝑎𝑖𝑛   . 𝗼𝘂𝘁𝗰𝗼𝗺𝗲 ／ 𝑝𝑜𝑠𝑖𝑡𝑖𝑣𝑒   .

             𝑓𝑜𝑟𝑡𝑢𝑛𝑒   𝑓𝑎𝑣𝑜𝑢𝑟𝑠   𝑡ℎ𝑒   𝑏𝑜𝑙𝑑   .