And so it has been a year without Liam.
When someone dies, I think it is often our nature to think through grief and search for โthe worst part.โ The worst part is, he stays 31 forever. Or the worst part is, we never get to see a new megawatt smile, ever again. Maybe the worst part is understanding how bereft the loss of him left his family, his friends, and other people we love. Potentially, the worst part is the true finality of it all- how it is a period where there could/should/would have been a comma, or a semicolon before. The worst part could be the unrealized dreams, the loss of an imagined future. Maybe itโs the bitterness of watching people/events move forward without him. Or the worst part might be the ache that hangs from all of our hearts now, this grief tied to us, this heavy thing we have no place to put.
But to me, for me personally, the worst part is the Knowing. Now we know, what day Liamโs life ends. We know what day he dies. We know his story doesnโt move forward after October 16th, 2024. And we will know that forever, and there is no unknowing it. And some years we will begin our painful countdown to this day, in advance. And some years this day will sort of sneak up on us. Neither will feel good. Now we know how deep this loss is. Now we know how much this hurts, and we can never unknow it. It is a rare thing, to know how and when someone dies. But now we do, we know, and now we carry this knowledge with us.
I hope we can celebrate Liamโs legacy, and I think we will- but I also want to make space for this collective knowing, this collective grief. Please be gentle with yourself as we navigate the remembrance of who we lost. And what he meant to us and to those we love so much.
And to Liam- it is my continued hope that you found nothing but blissful peace and happiness on the other side. Thank you for your talent, for your smile, for the way you gave so much of yourself away. We miss you everyday, love. Every single day.
turnnoffyourmind
blakekathryn
theartofmadeline
ellievsbear
yousharknotpass
