Bricking It

I feel like I've turned into a fucking Owl.

I can't wait for that alarm in the morning! ⏰

Watching The Queens Gambit and I've eaten a whole box of After Eights and now wondering why I've got heartburn 😑

Tired, with too much energy to 💤 😴

This was the response from some of the residents at another development my colleague and I are covering.

A new manager was supposed to start today but pulled out! We will keep it ticking over until a new one is found.....

It was lovely to hear how the residents are so happy and extremely grateful we've been there for the last 4 weeks.

They commented on how much of a difference they notice with great management in the little time we are there, and actually feel listened to!

Feeling a whole lot better now 😌 🙌

Going through my emails this morning and read that due to Covid 19 housing waiting lists could hit over 2 million people.

I also read a bit about the Social Housing White Paper (a government report giving information on proposals or an issue) and what changes are going to be made.

Apparently around 200,000 social homes are without a working smoke alarm and 2.3 million are without a working carbon monoxide alarm.

Shocking!

A lot of changes to be made.....

Finally I renewed my first aid training (so I can tick that off for the next 3 years) after it was cancelled in the spring due to Covid.

It's been a long day but I'm all up to date and re-learnt things I had obviously forgotten. I've never been in a position where I've had to give CPR but a lot of the other stuff is very useful to know as I have been in situations with choking, burns and wounds, and that's just with my children!

A couple of incidents were prior to any training and I think I just reacted with instinct. One was choking on a necklace so I put her over my knee and gave her back blows and the other set her head on fire 🔥 (accidently with a candle) so I threw her in the bath and turned the cold tap on, nearly drowned her in the process though 😳

Thinking about giving the kiss of life to an old crinkly with bodily fluids seeping out their mouth and crispy bits of lunchtime left on their lips, then cracking their ribs with chest compressions makes me feel somewhat queasy, well the mouth to mouth part anyway. Urgh Death Breath 🤢

Who knows how they'll react when in that situation, hopefully I won't be! 🙆‍♀️

I've definitely lost control here 🙄

I guess I'll just have to entertain myself some other way.....

I'll get up, have a nice bath, get dressed, make a lovely breakfast for everyone, tidy the house, take the dog for a long walk over the downs, do some course work and make a lovely dinner with my children, bake a cake and watch a movie together later ❤

Or let's be more realistic:

I've woken up with a headache and a sore back because the dog slept on top of me and my youngest stayed in my bed last night so I couldn't star fish so I I'm gonna lie here for a few more hours watching James Martin Cook shit on the TV.

I shoved a croissant in my mouth whilst loading the washing machine, forced the dog to go outside for a wee (he hates the rain) and I've come back to bed. I'll drop some painkillers, see of I can get another hour then I will attempt to move again.

I answered the questions as best I could and explained that between myself and another manager we will keep the development ticking over until they have a permanent one in place.

They were very grateful for the support and said they will try and convince me to swap my development for theirs as they would love to have me for good. This was lovely to hear but not going to happen, I literally live 5 mins from mine and I get a bit road ragey sitting in traffic 😳

Feeling very tired now so time to relax and change the type of screen I will be staring at.

Netflix again I guess...... 🥱

I'm on annual leave for 2 days and using the time wisely working on my project presentation. I've been giving myself anxiety just thinking about doing it but once I get started I'm fine. I dont know why I do this 🤷‍♀️

I will reward myself later and carry on watching the latest Netflix series I've started. Going to need a few more of them after full lockdown from Thursday.

Here we go again....🙄

So I visited a Large and Complex development today to shadow a Building Manager to see if this would be a sector I would like to go into. The day went very quickly and I actually enjoyed it!

There was a block that had an eco roof and although these are great for the environment I was interested to see what issues they may cause. On asking the manager he explained they had never had any problems with them but whilst I was there one of the residents had reported a leak. He was on the top floor of this particular block so it was coming from the roof.

Contractors were onsite to inspect the problem and said they would have to dig up the roof to do further investigations but advised against it as the flat below was bone dry. It was raining heavily and no obvious reasons were discovered.

I guess if there was a substantial issue the eco roof would pose to cause problems if it had to be dug up with regards to how much it would cost to do this and the extra work involved.

Every solution carries a problem I guess!

Needless to say with 21 blocks being managed by FirstPort on that estate I done a lot of walking and with residents calling constantly there were many diversions during the course of the day.

Its a much larger scale of what I already do with similar responsbilities but very interesting to see how diverse the residents are and the problems they actually cause themselves. Its also clear they do not understand processes and some things take time to get done.

I did swear at it a few times first and pushed it away like a kid with a plate of broccoli 🥦 but in the end I just had a word with myself and got on with it.

I am finding it difficult to concentrate at the moment especially with daily headaches I hate looking at the screen all day.

My Power nap turned into an hour and a half so that's fucked me for tonight but oh well! I was planning to shut my eyes for 10mins 🙄

I have arranged a day shadowing at another site this week so I guess thats like a day out at the moment being in tier 2. Yippee!! 😂

This is so upsetting to see but a very real issue I have been trying to deal with over the last few years. Sorry if you're squeamish!

I have taken her (my daughter) to A&E twice in the past, stayed overnight and she was referred to CAMHS.

They didn't see her case as 'serious' enough so didn't offer any help apart from suggesting we stare into the mirror together chanting 'I AM ENOUGH'. 🙄 fuck off!

School counselling was inconsistent so I found her a life coach. He was great and she made progress with him. In lockdown she couldn't see him face to face but he offered zoom meetings. She point blank refused.

She hadn't cut herself since last year and said she was fine. He closed her case last week after I told him she was doing really well now she had started college. 😬

The other day I get a phone call from my daughter telling me she's cut herself. I called the doctor yesterday and he suggested CAMHS. I then told him about our previous experience so he has referred her for a psychiatric assessment. 🤯

I am completely helpless as a mother and at my wits end with this whole situation, my anxiety is now through the roof. I asked her what happens if you cut too deep accidently? Her response was, 'oh well I'll just die'.

I understand exactly how she feels. I am powerless. It happens out the blue, no warning signs. I guess the tension just builds up so much she needs to release it and this is how.

So I'm on suicide watch now and dont want to leave her for too long on her own. Not looking forward to half term as I'm at work and she'll be alone.

This greeted me on arrival to work this morning. Urgh it was rank, looked like one of my drains had vomited everywhere, and the smell 🤮🤮🤮

Thank goodness I hadn't just eaten 😖

I had bought some Honey for one of my residents as he asked me if I would pick some up during the week. I dropped it off at his back door as he is shielding.

I decided to walk round a different way to the entrance because of this and just as well I did as I would've been pissed if that wasn't discovered until the end of the day.

I phoned one of the maintenance contractors I use for an emergency call out and so grateful the blockage erupted outside the development and not inside!

This is a direct result of the residents flushing wipes down the toilet so I sent a note out to them. I told them if they insist on using botty wipes then please use poo poo bags to dispose of them and put them in the general waste. Not ideal but which would you rather?