#bad back

My favourite sitting positions:

Anyway, seven more work days until my staycation!

It causes me severe pain daily. I have not known a pain-free day since I was 16 years old. It also causes me other problems, such as a waddling gait, belly protrusion, swayback and horrible coughing fits. 

I also have constant emotional distress, it really ruins my psyche to be worried not only as a black woman, but one with chronic pain and illness. I am getting increasingly angry and anxious. I feel like my spirit is dying. 

I cry a lot. Even my partner doesn't know how much I cry.

I often imagine relapsing, be it drinking, self-harm or inhalants. 

I’m ridiculously tired and overloaded. 

I coughed so much tonight, I still can hardly breathe. 

My partner tells me my back is a solid rock. Like to the point it's startling…

I just want the pain to stop. I want to feel happy again. I want a pain-free life… hell rn I’d take a pain-free year…. Month… DAY?!?! Just… I’m so worn out. 

I have to get EMGs bc my legs and arms are also fucked up.