* ᵖʳᵉᵗᵗʸ && ⁿᵃˢᵗʸ !!

you kow what your problem is ? i’m too good looking.

god what did you have for breakfast this morning – carnation instant bitch ?

an apple ? where’s my candy , you son of a bitch ?!

look , if i could run across the beach into my own arms , i would.

when my time comes i want to be buried face down , so that anyone who doesn’t like me can kiss my ass.

what are you going to put on your resume – dumbass ?

do you know what drugs do to you ?

well , damn ! i can’t control the weather !

anyone else feel like a rainbow ?

well , i’d like to help out but … not as much as i’d like not to.

hey , if god didn’t want me to wear this shirt so much , he wouldn’t have made them rock so hard.

punk is the nihilistic outcry against the corporate rock n’ roll takeover. it’s the soundtrack to the revolution , man !

yeah , i’m making special brownies but i’m also making regular brownies for the “ straight folks “ or “ losers. “

don’t put me in your fantasies , i don’t even like being in your real life.

i don’t know what you heard , but this show ain’t free !

why don’t you go down to ‘ i don’t care ‘ street , make a left at ‘ get out of my life ‘ boulevard , and take the express bus to downtown ‘ suck it ‘ !

please don’t take this the wrong way , but i want to have sex with you.

i would love care sex … or just sex … or just a car. 

i’m not doing anything else for men today.

the reason that bad things happen to you is because you’re a dumbass.

speaking of friends , how are your four cats ?

the beautiful cannot be held responsible for the havoc our looks create.

you know what a funny word is ? pickleweasel !

where zen ends , asskicking begins !

see beer is evil. i don’t want to say i told you so , but i will say this: i told you so , man.

…so , it was either a u.f.o. or i rubbed my eyes too hard.

if you don’t get caught , everything’s legal !

secrets cause cancer !

give me back my jellybeans , you son of a bitch !

my heart aches with pain / when i see you , i vomit / die away from me.

 life is too short to spend it with people who annoy you.

oh please ! i’m a hot looking , smooth talking , frisky ass son of a bitch.

oh honey , you’re not a jackass … you’re a jack-angel ! 

yeah , i’m what’s known as man-pretty. 

if i were a bird , i’d fly into a ceiling fan.