✧Big Menace✧

I've tried to adapt. I read the things they posted before they'd asked for my input. I balanced what was perceived as criticism with praise. Sometimes I even outweighed the former in favor of the latter. But they always inevitably cried, or got defensive, and quickly stopped asking me to beta.

So, anyway. I don't know if it's because of how I do things (brief, to-the-point notes seeming cold, maybe?) or if I just keep encountering people who are so sensitive to rejection that any small mistake being pointed out is taken as an insult to the writer themself.

I love beta reading. I'm proud of my ability to do so. And it's the closest one can get to being an editor anymore, since job opportunities for that are rare to nonexistent. But no longer feel secure putting myself out there and volunteering to do so. And I genuinely wonder how many others have gone through this, and if maybe that's why beta readers are so hard to come by?

Hi anon. *hugs* I'm sorry that you haven't found a good match with an author yet, especially if editing is something you love and miss doing. It's heartbreaking when you have something you want to share and you can't - and that includes the skills you mention here.

I think what others have said can help - having conversations before, during, and after beta reading to set expectations and try to be on the same page (no pun intended).

But I also think that sometimes people don't know themselves as well as they think they do. I have definitely said I wanted Thing A before when it turned out what I actually wanted was Thing E instead - and I had to go through A-D to figure that out.

Your way of editing is probably a dream for some folks and a nightmare for others. If I were the kind of person who could wait more than 5 seconds before posting a chapter, I'd probably want a beta like you.

One way that might make it easier to find where you and the author can meet in the middle would be for you to do a sample paragraph or page of beta editing for a work that neither of you have written. Without the personal element of the author feeling protective or sensitive about their work, you can demonstrate the kinds of comments you tend to leave and they could provide a version of those comments that aligns with what they're hoping to receive on their own work.

I'm thinking something along the lines of:

You: This is a run-on sentence. You can correct it by separating it into three sentences here, here, and here or you can use a semicolon here and em-dashes there.

Them: This is a run-on sentence. Grammatically we could fix it, but you could also leave it in as a stylistic choice. It changes the pacing of this scene into something more frenetic and breathless. Is that what you're aiming for here?

Obviously this is a totally made up thing I'm doing here, but this is also a mismatch that you could identify early. If you're not comfortable making the kind of comments that the author comes back to you with, then you're probably not a good fit for each other.

If this is your actual reaction to critique and not hyperbole to get your point across, you might want to read up on Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria and see if that’s something you’d like to talk about with your doctor. This level of a reaction to beta comments feels extreme and might be a sign of something else going on, whether that’s RSD or something else. 

If that’s just hyperbole and you feel a sense of disappointment or dejection as a result of hearing critique then you might just need to talk to your beta reader about how you want that critique to come at you. Do you want a negative to be balanced out with a positive? Do you want a critique to come with a plan for how to fix the problem? Do you want it phrased as a question rather than as a statement?

We all have preferences when it comes to receiving feedback, and we all respond differently to different styles. If you’re receiving feedback in a form that doesn’t work for you, then try a different form and see if that works better. 

Another thing that’s important to remember is that these comments are not about you as a person, they’re about your writing. The person who is giving you this feedback is invested in making your writing better. They want you to succeed and they want you to tell the best version of your story possible, and their focus is on helping you do that. 

Nothing that we write is ever going to be perfect, and a first draft is even rougher. There’s no shame at all in needing to improve. If there’s nothing to work on, then there’s nothing to learn. Accepting critique means accepting an opportunity to do better next time, to learn a new technique or concept. Doing something badly means that you’re doing something that’s hard for you, and it’s only by working beyond our capabilities that we can improve. 

We often find that the things which hurt us the most are directly tied into our identity. If that is the case, then a critique of our work is no longer just that, but becomes a personal attack. It threatens the core of what we believe ourselves to be, which in turn may feel like "the end of the world". In a way, it truly contradicts something we consider a fundamental truth, the foundations of what we are. However, it is just the pain of bruised ego.

My advice would be to look into yourself. There's nothing shameful about it feeling this way. The question is: is that useful for you? Does it help you? Or does it cause you hurt and impede your growth?

Personally, I find that the more invested I am in the action ("writing") rather than being something ("I am a writer"), the easier it is for me to be detached and calm. It may sound counter-intuitive, but I think getting rid of the "I am a good writer" identity and the "I want to be a good writer" attachment is what made me a better writer. It removed the drive to be good and allowed me to just be, examine my work without any sense of failure, and discuss it with other people.

Of course, you still need some "chemistry" with your beta-reader, especially in regards to the plot itself. Outline what you're looking for in feedback and specify your boundaries. If you can't handle hearing about everything at once, tell them "I want to focus on xxx only" and specify whether (and how) you'd prefer for any other issues to be brought up. However, don't make them responsible for managing your feelings.

The point of setting boundaries isn't to prevent the situations in which you may feel hurt from occurring completely. It is to bring down their intensity to a level you can safely manage on your own. "Make sure the author never feels bad" and "be honest with the author about the issues in their workshop" are two distinct goals which, in certain situations, may contradict each other. If you can't handle feedback, you have to be aware that people will stop giving you their genuine thoughts and will focus on appeasing you instead.

Mama I miss you,,,, I hate doing costume design so much but I love u so ill do this,,, Mistuki belongs to Cybird^^

Kenshin, Masamune, Yoshiteru

Previous cards from this gacha here.

I changed the order in the second sentence. The original was something like: "If I don't see your form or hear your voice, I can barely breathe." I changed it to sound better.

There were two people... 二人. For better phrasing, I changed it to "we".

And finally... Yoshi. No comments about translation. It's right about the same. I just want to say I didn't pay him much attention until that moment. I mean, he's nice and a bit out of the clouds, and it's fun. But how did I manage to miss that huge yandere??? I totally didn't expect that.

Original picture is below

Finally edited this! ^^ I'm so happy how these turned out too, I can put them on my itabags <3 (because one was not enough for me lol)

Status: Completed Pairing: Shapeshifter!Masamune x Witch!MC Happy Ending Fantasy AU Summary: Each year, witches gather to renew their contracts with the gods. It so happens that Mai prefers to travel with her husband… Although nobody seems to realise who exactly is her cat. Content Warnings: food mention, pain mention, assault

[Number of posts on my library blog, that I used to maintain until fairly recently. It holds the majority of my headcanons, fics and so on. Currently it sits at 598.]

Short animation, lowk didn’t know what I was doing but YAY it worked.