I do stuff sometimes

and as he stares into the sky, there are twice as many stars as usual

advanced tip: while driving, you can use your turn signal to warn other drivers that you intend to turn.

its called the D: drive because you look at how much space is left on it and you go "D:"

why is this mom joke getting notes

Docal Lisk

Fuck

Unknown numbers ringing me like I even answer the phone to people I know. 

little miss automatically goes silent when something hurts her feelings

Telling a group of people to draw a troll face by memory is the funniest thing I swear to god the results are always so asdfghjkl

Titan submersible 0.5 seconds before implosion

There are multiple posts saying that Legolas is the Texan amongst the Fellowship of the Ring and you’re all wrong it’s Gandalf. It’s 1000% Gandalf. Gandalf followed a wild horse for two days to tame it and would regularly ride up to the Shire with a cart full of homemade fireworks. Gandalf's the Texan.

“we have incompatible genitals” is now my favorite excuse.

Reblog if you have incompatible genitals