Inflammatory Asshole

So, I'm a trans woman, I was raised male for 26 years, and since my father wasn't around half the time, my mother did the majority of the raising. This means that she did the majority of teaching me in how to "be a man" socially speaking. Sure, car stuff and male duties were my dad's job to teach me, but values and behaviour in how a man should act was the role of my mom.

My mother always told me that she was raising me to be a good husband to my wife, to treat women with love and respect, and overall how to be masculine but not toxic.

My mother even put together a collection of films and books for me to read with positive male role models for me to build my life around, and honestly it really helped a lot.

So, I'm going to pass on the knowledge I've learned about masculinity that I've learned over the years:

Masculinity isn't a bad thing. It's not bad to be a man, or masculine. Yes, there are toxic men out there with toxic views on how to "be a man", but the same could be said about women. If you don't think women can be cutting or hurt people with femininity, you're dead wrong.

Masculinity can be gentle. It can be loving. There's men out there who adore the women in their lives, and treat them extremely well. These men care about those around them, they're active listeners, they have good communication, they're devoted to their partners, and they're genuinely good people. They're not feminine for caring about animals, speaking softly, being gentle, being loving, anything of the sort. They're men, and that's their masculinity, which manifests in a healthy, positive way.

Masculinity can be gentle, loving, devoted, doting, generous, kind, and all sorts of positive gentle things. It's also a spectrum. There's plenty of masculine men who act in ways that are kind and caring.

George Fisher for example, lead singer of Cannibal Corpse. He's a big, masculine dude who works out. He also spends his free time at home and on tours out playing claw games to win toys for sick children.

Or Travis Ryan, who has a house full of rescue pets, and is an advocate for veganism

Donald Tardy of Obituary fame takes care of over 130 feral cats in Florida every night when he's not on tour, bringing them all food and water

Three examples of extremely masculine men, who are kind, soft, and gentle towards animals and children.

There's nothing wrong with being soft. It does not make you any less of a man.

Too many people act like masculinity is hard, damaging, evil, toxic, and so on. Which yeah, it can be in some - but there's also a lot of good in it. Loving, positive, healthy masculinity should never, ever, be treated like something that needs to be "fixed" because it's masculinity and therefore bad.

There's good men in this world, whose masculinity is good and should be celebrated, and healthy, positive masculinity in those that choose it, should be treated as the good that it is.

So, to those who are choosing masculinity, and choosing a path of loving, healthy, positive masculinity:

Thank you. Honestly. We need more good men and masculine people in this world. You're not a bad person for being this way. You deserve equal goodness to the goodness you put out.

Keep being loving, good, amazing people. Don't let anyone tell you that you're bad for being you, because you're not. Masculinity can be wonderful for some, and it shouldn't be treated like a curse, or a bad decision.

Masculinity is beautiful

Masculinity is wonderful

Masculinity can be a force for good

Masculinity is healing

Masculinity is a spectrum and there's no wrong way to do it, so long as it's not toxic

Masculinity can co-exist with femineity

Masculinity should be celebrated and not shamed

Masculinity doesn't make you a bad person

Trans men, and transmascs deserve all the respect, and room to grow into the people that they've always wanted to be. To shame them for wanting to be masculine is harmful for everyone involved. Masculinity isn't a bad thing, men aren't ontologically evil or bad. The vast majority of men are good people, and are blessings to those around them.

So men, and mascs:

the reporter is standing outside the prison walls, while the inmates are inside watching newsmax, and collectively screaming out one-word answers to questions loud enough to be heard by the reporter.

The MRA movement is literally the manosphere. It's anti-feminist incel shit. It's patriarchal slop. I don't know why anyone would want to be associated with that, even if it's just in name. This goes doubly so because of the way TERFs often call trans women "MRAs", come on. Can NONE OF YOU see how that is in TERRIBLE taste?

Instead of going "HAHA YES I AM!!!" when someone accuses you of being an MRA for advocating for trans men, instead realize that they're comparing you to an actively violent misogynistic transphobic group. You shouldn't embrace that label. MRAs are a group that should be scorned, and they're saying you should be too.

Men deserve compassion. Trans men deserve love and respect…but WAIT!

it is presumptuous to believe that you uniquely are able to judge random disabled people's health, and that you have the right to do so. who do you think you are?

disabled people in general are not able to defend themselves as easily as ableds, for various reasons. either they lack the ability, or they don't have the resources or security. some disabled people will lose everything they need to live without disability support. you could be playing with people's lives by trying to casually investigate if they really need what they say they do, so

you're more willing to subject disabled people to cruelty over the idea that some people get "help they don't deserve." this neither protects disabled people, nor helps them. even if you "catch" a faker you have helped 0 disabled people. in fact the relentless hunts for "fake" disabled people hurts disabled people who already have to jump through a million hoops to get support. and some of us can't jump!

and disabled people have the right to privacy and dignity. being disabled in public is not an invitation. they're literally just living their lives. existing where other people can see you doesn't give them the right to your information

heterosexual trans men

Men who fit perfectly into the masculine gender standards are rewarded. Men like that don’t exist! The ones who seem to thrive in toxic masculinity are nothing but Judas goats!

The masculine gender role is designed to cut you off from everyone emotionally. It’s designed to make you ignore your health needs. It’s designed to make you work yourself to death. It’s designed to let your body rot out from under you while you slowly die alone.

Anger is the only acceptable male emotion. Anger pushes people away. Anger is the emotion that drives people to act their worst.

I’m seeing everyone breaking up into tiny cage matches. Who has it worse than who. Who is invalidating who. No one disagrees that cis het men are the devil? Where are we going with this?

I think contention is the POINT. We are being bamboozled, my queers. Divided we shall fall.

also at this point you're just telling on yourselves. if your only argument for trans men having privilege is that we have privilege when people think we're Not Trans Men, then you have literally just run out of arguments, gone round in circles and accidentally admitted that trans men do not hold systemic privilege.

if a person in a minority group only holds social privilege when no one in that social scenario knows that they are part of that minority then that is called Not Holding Privilege actually. and kind of applies to almost every other minority group ever, including other trans people. only exception I can think of off the top of my head is invisibly disabled people but that experience is very different overall.