Fly Far Away

i wish everything was quieter and softer and less often

I think my favorite experience with an American was when I said “I’m from Finland” and she said “Oh so do you speak Scandinavian?” and I swear to god nothing will ever surpass that moment

Actually I fucking lied I’m pretty sure to peak was when my mother was telling a cashier in a target that we couldn’t wait two weeks because we were on vacation and we lived in The Netherlands and she said “The Netherlands? you mean that peter pan place?” 

OH MIO DIO

i went to summer school in england when i was like 14 and there were some american people and when i said i was italian they started speaking spanish, and when i was like “hey i don’t know spanish can u pls speak english” they were like “but…. you’re from italy… do you not speak spanish in europe?” “No, we speak italian in italy” “oh, that’s a language?”

reminds me of the sheer number of times I’ve had to explain that the NS regime and the Berlin wall did not happen at the same time 

Oooh this reminds me of a particularly stuck up american customer…. Note, i grew up bilingual and my english is pretty much accent-free. Anyways, i start talking to the customer, and he just randomly cut me off and was like “Sorry, can you speak a little slower? I have to get used to your heavy german accent first” and b i t c h never have i ever been more offended, so i actually DID whip up the thiccccest german accent i could and just watched him struggle to understand what i was saying

I met an american woman in a hostle in London and she started telling me how she was on her way to Ireland to find her irish roots (she even told me how many percent irish she was) and how she was thrilled to have met an irish person here and she started to learn the gaelic alphabet and yada yada ya. Turns out she saw my Lord of the rings bag, thought the elvish writing was gaelic and therefore I must be irish.

My favorite thing about tumblr is following peoples personal storylines. Like when somebody I follow finally goes on a date with the person they like or comes out to their best friend or finishes a huge homework assignment I am literally on the couch pumping my fist and being really happy for them

This is 100% true.

no greek god is inherently and wholly “good” or “bad” because they were all flawed and imperfect in some way with different facets of personality and character to serve as a reflection of society and human nature itself  

oh except for zeus he was a straight up absolute bastard

fuck zeus

do NOT. 

im not trying my hardest but im very tired which i think should be taken into consideration

It’s always possible that a biologist will accidentally create a super-germ that kills everyone. Physicists run the risk of creating a black hole that will destroy the world. But how did you, a humble geologist, mess up so badly in the lab that humanity is now on the brink of extinction?

good evening (in vampire voice)

truly inspiring

Shout out to those who are having a hard time right now.  This is only temporary.

deactivating my bones tonight for a little blob action

Just remember: even if you can’t slay dragons and shoot fireballs from your hands, you can step over small objects in your path, and that makes you more badass than a lot of video game characters.

#curse you waist high insurmountable fence

there are two competing sects on this website - one that uses the word "spicy" to mean "neurodivergent" and one that uses the word "spicy" to mean "sexual content." i do not like either of them

I use spicy to describe food

my food is mentally ill and I’m putting my dick in it

Twilight