You've tried the best...

Oh I wonder what’s in WOLVES OH GOD THERE ARE LIKE TEN WOLVES RUN LARA RUUUUUUUUUUUN

(reblogging with my tags, as per request) #there's an unspoken rule in the Citadel Arena that Shepard cannot win matches #because then she does the most ridiculous touchdown dance like the above #so everyone kind of gangs up on her and they leave traps around and Shepard's teammates radio her movements to the opposition #'Vega she's about to snipe you from that ridge at your 4 o'clock' #'SHIELDS UP SHIELDS UP SHE'S GOING FOR A CHARGE!' #Shepard's ego is seriously bruised by all of her horrendously bad luck #she walks out grumbling to herself that the stupid game's rigged she passed N7 training damnit she's the first human spectre #and doesn't clue in until she manages to take out the other team despite them knowing her every move #and she's about to start with the touchdown dance #but then she hears Liara clear her throat loudly behind her and she turns to see Garrus and Liara pointing their guns at her #Liara says 'we're sorry Shepard' #and Garrus adds 'it's really for your own good' #and they take her out #Shepard sulks for most of the day and the crew are like 'we fucked up how do we fix this' #and so when Vega walks past Shepard and she death glares him he starts dramatically 'dying' while yelling about her killer death stare #and as Shepard levels the gaze across the room everyone else follows suit (after Vega coughs 'COME ON GUYS' from the ground) #and suddenly all of Shepard's friends are lying 'dead' on the ground #and she's like 'I want you all to know that I'm fully aware what you're doing... but I'll take it' #and launches into the biggest and worst touchdown dance and instantly cheers up #(everyone else wishes they really WERE dead)