kpop trash & dank memes

what do you mean I can't control everything, why not

we might be blogging hours apart but time is nothing. i love you

I be scrolling down my own blog wanting to follow myself

i spot a plus size honey across the bar and start to chat her up until her bisexual boyfriend with a magic the gathering tattoo comes over and starts yelling at me so i turn him sideways so he can't make another action until his next turn

“A church”?? That’s Old North Church! That’s THE church where the lanterns were lit.

Official Post of Massachusetts

Just found out the guy I've been fighting with via email over whether a matter is legal or finance's responsibility is the SAME GUY I've been chatting with in the halls. Oh my fucking god. I'd literally send him an email basically being like, you are incompetent and you are actively trying to evade responsibility, and then FOUR MINUTES later see him in the halls and go "Heyyyy bitch omg how's your wife, how did the vet trip go, when are you going to come to lunch with us on Thursdays omg stop avoiding us" he must think I'm CRAZY

Not now, kitten, m- da- m- your parental figure is in the middle of a gender crisis

endlessly funny that some pets will just decide they are service animals now without any training or feedback from humans. babygirl no one hired you. you do not have a license for this

I’m not talking about humans pretending their untrained pets are service animals so they can bring them places they shouldn’t be allowed. I’m talking about my dog, who took one look at the two people with severe ADHD time-blindness and executive dysfunction who adopted him and was like, “Great. I am your Watch Dog now, as in, dog who functions like a watch. That is, if your watch was a seven-pound furby that could run this house like the goddamn navy. I will catapult myself onto your chest and nip at your hands when you fail to get up and Do Things in response to my incessant whining that it is Time For You To Eat Lunch/Get Out Of Bed/Go Exercise/Take Your Meds/Etc Now Now Right Now. This is a service I provide for to Helping You. No, you cannot opt out of the Helping You. Do not attempt to resist the Helping You.”

@thebibliosphere I think we've found Holly Mop's people

Some beloved critters really take the ‘companion’ role so seriously they train themselves to go above and beyond to the point where you’ll find yourself being bullied into lying down by a 10lb Shih Tzu. And then they’re right. You were getting a migraine. (It’s me. I’m in bed with a migraine with a 10lb Shih Tzu lying on top of me.)