High on life, Low on sleep

“I just wish it wasn’t you, you know? Because out of everyone, it had to be you. It had to be the person who I had the best memories with, who was my best friend, who I thought was the sweetest thing alive. But of course…that had to be the one who broke my heart.”

and the worst thing is knowing that you don’t mean as much to people as they do to you. you can see it in their eyes when you look into them, you don’t fill up their life as they do to you. you don’t make their world spin, or the air leave their lungs. they may love you, and i bet they do. but maybe not enough. not enough to keep you. not enough to chose you. not enough to stay.

“What’s miserable is that I keep making myself believe that I could be with you, and that you think of me as much as I do with you. But you don’t. Gosh, you so don’t. But my heart refuses to believe that and makes up a love story in my head where you actually love me, like I have always loved you.”

“If I only had one more day to live, I would make you understand just how much you mean to me, just how much I love you and how much I have always loved you.”

“God, I hope she knows if she ever needs anything she can call me”

Your words speak love.

"you know your fucked when they could do the worst to you but you would still love them."

“i have a tendency to fall in love with people i already know will end up breaking my heart,

“How could I let you break my heart twice?”

“I understand why you don’t love me back. I don’t love me either.”

It hurts, ya know. Because you were my best friend, you were my favorite part of every day, for three years. You were my sun and my moon, you were every star in my stupid dipped pink sky. And it just doesn’t matter now. Isn’t that bizarre? You put your heart and soul into someone else’s hands and then it just ends and you have to take everything back. But you can’t take everything back. But you want to. But you don’t. And you can’t. That’s the worst part, you can’t. You make them the air that you breathe and then they’re gone and you have to keep breathing whatever toxicity is left behind, and it hurts. But no one is going to save you, because they can’t. And that’s the worst part too. You just want someone to take the hurt away for a minute, just a second, but they can’t. You have to keep living until the pain gets dull. You don’t want to because they were the best part of this life and now they aren’t here anymore and they don’t even care and you can hardly bear it. But you have to keep living anyways. And it hurts. Ya know? It hurts.