Dreamer GirlA side blog to dream on...

The first time I got naked in his bed, he told me I didn’t have to be. 

That made me bare it all for him. I stripped down to nothing, my first time for any man, and let him worship my body. He kissed a gentle path from my tits to the wet, warm hole between my thighs and–for the first time–licked me into a writhing, moaning heap. 

He was only in his underwear when we fell asleep. The back of my naked body was pressed into his barely-clothed one, and it wasn’t until I woke up that I realized how vulnerable I had allowed myself to be. BB was surprised, too. His virgin girl, trepidatious and needing to take things slowly, was suddenly willing to get naked and stay naked and take a nap that way. It spoke volumes about how much I trusted him to not abuse the situation, and I didn’t consider that he would, not even for a second.

I have trouble falling asleep anywhere that isn’t my own bed, but that day it was the easiest thing in the world. Perhaps this isn’t a big deal in the Kinky Tumblr Sphere, but for my personal sexual journey, it felt momentous. It’s truly a result of BB adamantly instilling in me, from the very beginning, his respect for my boundaries, my body, and for me.

Angela Carter, The Magic Toyshop (via thelovejournals)

unknown (via beside)

“I want your love,” he told her.

She giggled as she reached into his pocket and pulled it out. “You already have it,” she cooed.

“Your devotion?” He questioned with a raised brow.

Happily she turned it over, piling her commitment atop it.

“Your hopes.” He said with extended hand, more demand than question.

She emptied them into his waiting hands until he had them all.

“Your fears?” He tested her.

Her hand trembled this time, but he took them and her into his arms.

Her doubts, her triumphs, her dreams, her obedience, her trust… she handed them all to him. She gave everything he asked. Sometimes it hurt, and often she cried, but she gave herself to him.

He smiled so proudly and so lovingly at her, and it was then that he saw from the corner of his eye that there was something left. Something grasped tightly in her hand.

He pried her fingers open gently to find what was hiding there, but he didn’t move to take them. There, in her palm, he found her insecurities.

“I want those too,” he said, extending his own hand.

Her voice shook, and her hand matched the tremble as she extended it. “You don’t want these,” she whispered, wrapping her fingers around them tightly once again.

“I do,” he replied.

“But how could you know? What if you don’t…” But before her words left her lips he reached out his hand and gestured, drawing her attention to the wall. There lay all the parts of her, not tucked away in a drawer, or hidden behind a door, but there, displayed proudly on his shelves. Everything she had ever given him, lovingly kept and treasured. He turned back and wordlessly extended his open hand once again.

I’ve done this to several men, and they catch on rather quickly. You’ll be able to have a conversation right then and there, and it works long term too - they might’ve forgot their manners by the time you talk to them again, but by repeating this, they’ll eventually learn to let you talk without you having to do this at the start of every convo. Source: I have a very stubborn older brother, who eventually learned too.

1. When they interrupt you, stop talking. Don’t try to raise your voice or battle them. Be completely quiet and wait.

2. Ignore everything they’re saying. Do not actually listen - just wait until they shut up. Don’t make a point of anything they say, do not answer to anything they say, do not refer to anything they say here. Literally do not listen a single word. Let them rant as long as they want.

3. When they finally shut up and wait for your reaction, say: ”I wasn’t done talking.”

4. Start over whatever you were saying when they interrupted you. I don’t care if it was a 10-minute explanation of rocket science. Start. Over. Repeat you original thought, but do not add anything related to what they just said while talking over you. That gives them the idea that it’s okay to interrupt you, you’ll still listen and pay attention and they’ll get their point clear without having to listen to yours. (It’s especially funny when you get done and they expect you to keep going talking about whatever they talked over you. The face when it sinks in that you didn’t listen a single word is glorious.)

5. If they interrupt you again, return to step 1. If you find yourself repeating the cycle over 3 times, tell them: ”you’re not letting me speak. Either you listen and wait for your turn, or our conversation ends here.” If they try to make excuses, laugh it off or keep interrupting, end the conversation. Prove them that if they wont let you speak, they’re not worth your time.

Why does this work? First, because sometimes talking over is internalized and men don’t actually notice they’re doing it. Being vocally called out makes them realize it and pay attention to it - especially if it happens more than once. Secondly, by refusing to aknowledge anything they say when they interrupt you, they’ll soon realize they will not get their own point across if they keep doing that. Peoole and especially men have the need to be heard and paid attention to when they talk - when you make it clear that by talking over you, they will not have your attention, they’ll learn to wait until you’re done, because they know that’s when you will be paying attention and actually listening.

Isle of Iona, Scotland

I began dating again a few weeks ago. And I know there are so many rules around it. Don’t text too often, don’t always be the first to text them, wait x amount of time before responding, don’t tell them how you feel immediately…

It all seems like a meaningless game to play. If I scare you off because I’m eager to talk to you and send you a good morning text, or because I tell you I’m fond of you after a date or two, then clearly we weren’t right for each other anyway.

Plus, I’d much rather you honestly tell me how you feel than play these games of waiting for the right time to tell me, whatever that may be. Because if I’m just waiting and getting nothing from you, then I’m going to take it as disinterest and move on.

A week ago, a guy I went on a couple dates with and was feeling very interested in told me that he wasn’t seeing things between us progressing any further. I was a little sad about it, but I got over it pretty quickly.

The reason why? I was really authentic with him. I talked to him when I wanted to. I complimented him when I wanted to. I expressed my desire to do things with him. I was my authentic self. If he wasn’t interested in that, then that’s okay, because I don’t know how to be anyone else, and there’s people out there who love me for who I am.

Had I been playing these dating games the whole time, I’d have still been mourning that loss of a potential relationship, because I’d see it as a missed opportunity. Something I screwed up.

i find myself piling up things. longings.  longing for you to be with me when i share what i learned today  longing for you to see when behind those lines i am saying  i miss you  longing for reassurance that i am important to you that i am in your heart.  and i want to say, it is okay too.  you have your life  i am just… me.  and that breaks my heart.  and i know, it’s all interpretations.  i know you care  i know i am important for you  but do i ? do i really know? how can i know this better? 

Charlie Chaplin in a letter to his daughter, Geraldine (via liebeficktunsalle)

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(via sapioslut)

Word…

(via once-upon-a-time-there-was-agirl)

Ernest Hemingway, The Complete Short Stories (via thelovejournals)