every rough day is preceded by a hard night

Somewhere on a flight for work between Cleveland and Houston today it really set in. I am 60 today. 30, 40, and even 50 came with little to no real impact. Big milestones and I think others made a bigger issue of them than I did.

Last night I enjoyed a fantastic meal with my family. This is my present and legacy, the core of who and what I am. Our kids came early in our marriage and we have in many ways grown up together. My son arrived six days before I was 28 and my daughter 18 months later. They are amazing adults we didn't fuck up too much. We all have spent our fair share of money on couch trips. That's healthy and necessary. Don't neglect your mental wellbeing.

I'm also blessed with an amazing son in law. He has reminded me that being a dad is not an obligation but a privilege and sacred responsibility.

I'm on a flight today with a young couple and their very small daughter. They apologized before we even took off if she was too much. Children are a blessing and gifts. Although can be trying and demanding they are not too much. About an hour in she finally gave up and mom and dad both are napping. Reminds me of so many nights holding my own close and sleeping in a chair. It all goes by so quickly.

Statistically speaking I probably have about 1300 weekends left. I don't plan on wasting a single one and if I do nothing it is not a weekend wasted. I am also giving every day the weight of a happily ever after in the sense I may not get tomorrow.

My wife keeps choosing me everyday. I keep joking one day she will sober up and get her eyesight back and realize what a huge mistake she has made. She reminds me she asked to join me for the next 20-30 years and remains the constant. And we are well past 30 years. We truly keep two sane people from being crazy. Besides, at this age there are not too many people who will put up with my bullshit.

To all the loves of my life, present and past, that still think of the chapters we wrote and still have to write, my gratitude and appreciation that you are part of this novel I call my life. Polyamory has taught me so much more about life and love and so have all of you.

To my friends and follower, thanks for your comments, conversations, and Tumblr love. Many have come and gone from here but not a single one forgotten and many certainly missed.

There are certainly so many more chapters to my life and I look forward to all of you that continue to make up every sentence, paragraph and chapter of my story I have yet to write.

With gratitude,