B.

Always reblog.

having to be “mature” at a young age sucks bc you aren’t really “mature-mature” you’re a child playing at a maturity bc you don’t have the foundation to be the bigger person when conflict arrives so what you do is ignore it bc ignoring a problem and being happy about a resolution look the same to your inexperienced eyes. Then you get adults praising you for a development above your peers but you aren’t really developing. You’re stagnant. Your peers will grow up and experience things and make mistakes and grow from them but you will keep yourself in this box, ignoring things ignoring ignoring ignoring until one day you have to face the fact… it wasn’t maturity you had. It was fear. And now you’re an adult too and you make all of your choices based on an emotional risk/costs analysis bc you don’t know any emotion other than fear & you have to start healing from your own childhood by making peace that you weren’t really a mature child. You were just a child who was given too much to carry & didn’t know how to say “no”.

The thing about chronic pain is once you’ve had it for long enough you can’t remember what not being in pain felt like. You only recognize it as ‘not as debilitating as usual’ or ‘very much more fucking debilitating than usual’ so you have no grasp anymore of what it’s like to do things without factoring your pain levels in. People who aren’t in constant pain think that if you’re having a ‘good pain day’ it means you’re not in pain and should be able do to things. But having a good pain day doesn’t mean you’re not in pain, it means you’re in less than excruciating pain. Maybe your pain is low enough that you can ignore it. But people who don’t live in pain don’t understand that ignoring it takes energy, and even if it’s low enough that we can ignore it doesn’t mean it’s gone and it doesn’t mean we want to go out and do a bunch of things that will make it so bad it cannot be ignored.

the line between not going out as an act of self-care and not going out as a symptom of depression is but a gossamer thread

Do not tell someone with a chronic illness to “think positive”. Living in pain 365 days a year 24 hours a day is torture and it’s a miracle we can think at all and don’t lose ourselves completely.

Shoutout to all the people who grew up dreaming big only to have chronic illness take your dreams away

If someone loves you they will care about how your body feels. Living with chronic pain is tough, and it permeates every inch of our lives. I’m not saying the people around you have to be perfect but they should care about how their decisions can negatively affect you. Expecting you to go to events that hurt you, saying you complain too much, being entirely thoughtless in regards to how your body functions, it isn’t okay. So let’s all stop pretending it is. 

[gif of Chris Pratt in Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 saying “It’s worse. It’s so much worse.”]

the main thing about living with a chronic illness is that you just kinda get used to it. you’re USED to being in pain. you’re USED to being tired. it isn’t until you talk to non chronically ill people that you remember that this isn’t normal.