please do not the cat

Grace taking his glasses off, exhaling on them and then wiping them with his shirt must have been baffling for Rocky. What the fuck is that alien doing? Is it well? Is that normal?

sex isnt real. romance isnt real. apple juice is real and a refreshing treat.

One time I worked at a pizza place and we had a regular customer named Adrian and every time the computer spit out an order for Adrian the person who saw it would lean their head back and shout "ADRIAAAAAAAAAN!!!" in a Sylvester Stallone voice and we would laugh and laugh. That was enough to keep us going during the hard times.

the worst part of summer is that people get sooo comfortable expressing their disgust at having to see other people’s bodies. they’re always complaining about wrinkly old men at the nude hot springs or fat women in bikinis at the beach. I hate that shit. if you’re not capable of being normal about bodies you personally don’t find attractive, just turn your head to look at something else! and if you’re not smart enough to do that, then at least do the rest of us the courtesy of suffering in silence, because we don’t wanna hear your weird comments. thanks.

girl omg we should totally write each other’s funeral speeches! we can take turns laying down on the couch with our arms crossed and pretend we’re embracing the eternal sleep in our cozy little coffins while the other one reads. omg and we can give each other corpse makeovers!!

Conservative beauty standards are back with a vengeance which means it's especially important to go out this summer with bellies out and bodies unshaved. Also be unapologetically disabled with mobility aids and wearable medical devices and stim toys and ear defenders and all that stuff. You need it. People need to see it. Everyone needs to be reminded that life is unquestioningly more enjoyable when you're not living inside an arbitrary set of rules created by people who are offended by all the wrong things.