we’ll take it slow

I’m soooooo embarrassed. My lord told me “good night,” but I thought he was calling me a good knight, and, well, you could hear it clink against my codpiece.

we have got to get real porn back on this site

i want a dick for a lot of reasons but the biggest ones is that just fingering someone feels crazy good like As The Giver. feeling someone squeeze tight cause they’re cumming so hard is top ten craziest feelings of all time to me like. insanely sexy. imagining THAT? with a dick? of course i’m envious

as a feminist i think girls should suck each other’s tits more

i need gay sex BAD

or at the very least i need someone to shove me into a wall and/or the ground with brute strength i cannot overcome. probebly

imagining a universe where porn is a marketable genre so you have to deal with raycon ads while trying to jerk your shit

You’re an easy slut, aren’t you kitten? Almost as easy as dinner with Hellofresh

letting out an involuntary little moan the first time you make out with your bf and having that alter his brain chemistry so much, he replays it in head later with his hand wrapped around his cock

if you get horny out of the blue it’s because you and that fictional man are fucking in his universe btw

woe! texted a casual acquaintance "I've been considering getting into knotting"

Why?

KNITTING TYPO

thank you faithful henchpeople of tumblr. you do my bidding well...

*nods sagely* in the spirit of penis