Well it all started when Mrs. Hayfer wanted me to babysit her dumb house. When I got the keys, I sat them on top of this pie that I found on the counter. I knew it was going to be given to the family for desert if I didnât eat it soon, so I was going to plan to eat it in my teacherâs house and dump all the crumbs on her bed. So itâs a win-win, right? Besides, she wouldnât find out about the crumbs until after I was paid, and this teacher hates me anyway. Then, I got distracted when this hot cheerleader calls me, asking about what movie Iâd recommend, but before I could answer, I realize that my mom would be there any second to serve dinner, and there was no way I was sharing that pie. So I bust out of there with the pie and the keys, and the moment I get in the house, I start chowing down on the pie with my bare hands, trying to eat this thing before anyone knows I took it, right? Well, since the pie crust was dry, I chugged a 2-liter bottle of soda whenever my throat would get dry and eventually, I really needed âto go.â Only when I went to flush, the water wouldnât stop flowing and there was no plunger to be found. Usually Iâd just shrug and say it was Joshâs fault or something, but letâs get real here, Mrs. Hayfer wouldâve blamed me about her toilet overflowing if I was 30 states away. So I jammed my foot in there, hoping itâd make the toilet stop flushing. Then my phone rings, and I knew it was my mom, asking where her pie went, and because Meghan decided itâd be a great idea to make my ring tone a bunch of cats meowing, Mrs. Hayferâs dog, Tiberius starts freaking out, bashing into the door over and over again. Now anyone who knows this dog knows that this dog will happily eat anything, and that includes the pie, and probably myself.  So my footâs totally stuck in there right, Iâm freaking out, the dogâs having a seizure and I still got half a pie left.Â
jacobvanloon
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