ZAPPANESE SESSION

“Ugh, what do you even know? You’s just a stupid girl.” He crossed his skinny arms over his chest, looking away from you.

“Hey!” It was your time now to glare at him. “Watch yourself, I won’t help you with your homework anymore.”

Leland rested his head against a board of the fence. “I won’t need homework anyway! I will do real work, ya know?”

You couldn't help but scoff at that, “Yeah? Like what?”

“Join the army—” He then suddenly stood up. “Become the president!” He pumped his fist into the air.

You laughed at that. “The president still needs to be able to read and write, idiot.”

His stormy eyes stared you down. “Don’tcha call me idiot, bitch!”

“Bitch?! I will show you bitch, you jerk!” You screamed back at him, and now you also got back on your feet.

At your age, and since you were a few years older, you were bigger than Leland, which you easily could use to your advantage. You both didn’t stay on your feet for long; instead, your bodies crashed into the dusty ground as you both wrestled.

As you pressed his face into the dust, with you sitting on top of his back, you could hear both of your names being called. Both of you made eye contact, and as quickly as you could, you both scrambled back to your position.

With your pen and book in hand, you both pretended that you had just finished the homework you were assigned. The truth is that you both like to rush through your work, just so you can fool around more.

“Leland!” Mrs. Coyle practically screeched at her son. “Why are ya always so damn dirty?!” You watched as she roughly grabbed the boy by his arm, dragging him up. Paper and pen dropped to the floor as she dusted off her son’s clothes. She threw him back on the ground, as if he were just a sack of potatoes. “Pack up your things, you still have work to do.”

Your father was different, but horrible all the same. He didn’t even have to say anything, because you were packing up your things with a simple movement of his hands. You kept your eyes down as you pressed your books to your chest.

When you walked across the dirt road towards your house, you felt sweat run down your back. Summer was here, and the ground had never been so dry before.

Your father held the door for you to enter the house. You quickly took off your shoes, trying to stay out of the man’s way.

His voice was monotone as he spoke. “Your dress is dirty.” He started playing with the straps. “Take it off.”

─── ⋆⋅ ♰ ⋅⋆ ───

Your father was passed out on the couch, and he would not wake up till the morning. Carefully, you laced your shoes and opened the front door. Leland was already standing there, his eyes focused on the stars that shone above you two.

As Leland opened his mouth, you pressed a finger to your lips. He rolled his eyes, but kept quiet. With quick steps, you walked towards him, then he wrapped his hand around your wrist and started yanking you towards the road.

Once you felt safe enough, you decided to ask, “What is it? It better be something good, you practically threw boulders against my window!”

He turned his head to smile at you. His dark hair framed his face, and you felt yourself grow flustered, “There’s a body. We gonna poke it with a stick.”

“Body? Another rabbit?” You wondered out loud as you walked up the road towards the town. Both of your farms were located on the outside; the plains were suffocating you both. “Did you kill it?”

“Nah, that ain’t mah kill! Girlie, it is a body.” He emphasised the last word, making your brows furrow.

“Oh.” Realisation hit you. “What kinda body?”

“Some pathetic hooker. If you ask me, she goddamn asked for it.” Leland picked up his pace, tugging you along by your wrist. “C’mon, faster!”

You speed walked after him, and finally, you reached your destination. How Leland is always capable of sniffing out dead bodies and easy victims is beyond you, but he never fails to include you in it.

Leland was reckless in the way he went down the ditch beside the street. You watched the way he nearly tumbled down, but he somehow didn’t fall. He threw a look over his shoulder towards you, and then he held his hand out to you.

With a sigh, you grabbed his hand, carefully trying to go into the dig. Leland squeezed your fingers, and your eyes flickered up to his boyish face. And then, he suddenly pulled you down. You screamed in fear as you were in free fall for a second.

Your hand was still clamped around Leland’s, and you ended up yanking him down with you. Most of your fall was cushioned by your arm, and you weren’t in too much pain.

Leland lay on the ground with you, hand in hand. He started laughing hysterically, as if you just told him his mother died. “You look so fuckin’’ stupid when yer scared!”

You shook off his hand from your own. But Leland was quick to take your hand back into his, not letting go. “Let go!” You hissed at him.

“Pfff, no way! Can’t have you running off now, can I?” His voice was teasing, but he squeezed your hand so tightly together that you could feel the bones and tendons grind together.

“You really piss me off.” You grumbled at him. Your knees ached as you stood up, dusting off the dirt. It was especially hard to do with only one hand available to you.

“You came out here, could’ve just sent me on my merry way, but cha didn’t!” He yanked on your hand, making you walk a few feet into the ditch.

At this point, you wondered if he only lured you out here with the promise of a dead body to get you to some isolated era. There was no secret in what Leland does to animals and girls. It has started to become such a big problem that you have overheard the adults talking about sending him away.

You think that it is inevitable that one day, Leland will turn his twisted attention towards you.

“She’s here!” He pointed out a lump to you.

You had to squint your eyes to see. Finally, Leland let go of your aching hand, and you watched him stick his hand into his pants pocket. He fumbled for the flashlight and turned it on.

Ah, yes, that was a corpse. The light shining on it didn’t help. The skin was an unnatural pale, greyish colour. You could see bugs crawl around, devouring what they could.

You know how you are supposed to feel. There should be a feeling of disgust; you should feel some sort of empathy for the dead body before you. That was once a person with thoughts and feelings.

The truth is, you feel none of that. You feel intrigued, and so you take the stick Leland held out to you, and you start poking the flesh. Sometimes Leland would poke where you were exploring, making you roll your eyes.

“You wanna kiss her?” His voice had an edge to it.

“No. Do you?” You couldn’t help but feel curious about the contents of Leland’s mind.

“I wanna do much more than kissing.” He grunted out. Leland gave the body one last hit with his stick before he started to get bored. “But it ain’t fun if there is no struggle.”

You just hummed. “Can we go back?”

“Ughh, fine.” He groaned dramatically.

You both walked back before climbing back up the ditch. Leland went first, and he didn’t even struggle one bit. You tried to copy his movements, but you kept slipping on the grass, which was dusted with dew.

Leland held out his hand to you, and you glared at it. He was just going to push you down, you were sure of it. Just as you reached the top without help, you felt yourself slip again.

“Girl—” Leland cursed at you, grabbing you by the back of your shirt and pulling you up. “Shoulda let you drop down.”

You still whispered out a stressed-out thanks. Now, you could finally make your way back home. You waved goodbye to Leland as he dropped you off. You doubt that he will go back home.

Holding your breath, you opened the door. All the lights were still off, which was a good sign. Taking your shoes off, you made your way up the stairs. You have lived here all your life, so you knew which stairs would creak and which wouldn’t.

When you could reach your bedroom with your arm stretched out, you started to relax. Your fingers brushed over the door handle you were roughly pushed against the wall.

Fear grasped your heart as you stared into the cold eyes of your father. You squeezed your eyes shut as he raised his hand.

─── ⋆⋅ ♰ ⋅⋆ ───

You sat on the porch as you watched Mrs. Coyle discipline her son. He had killed another animal. This time it was a neighbour’s dog. When cats go missing once in a while, you can shrug it off, but not when it comes to dogs, cats, goats, calves, and chickens in that number. Leland seemed to want to eradicate anything living from these streets.

Mrs. Coyle raised her belt as she beat her son. You don’t think it has much effect on him. At least, not in the way she would like. You have seen Leland reach his hand to touch the electric fences on purpose. He seemed to find some sort of entertainment in it.

She scares him more when she touches him when he is in the bath, with the toaster right at the edge of the tube. You think that is where he gets his torture methods for the girls from.

You and Leland were hiding away in the long grass of the plains. It has been a few days now since you sneaked out, and your bruises still ache. Leland didn’t look much better than you, but neither of you would ever really talk about it.

While you were lying on the dusty ground, with your eyes closed as you tried to nap, Leland was pacing back and forth. He had a rusty, old machete in his hands, which he swung around. He kept muttering things under his breath, but you didn’t bother to listen to him. If he wants to talk to you, he will do so.

The blunt blade hit the grass, but it would not cut through the strands. Leland growled under his breath, finally turning to you. “I got mah ass handed to me ‘cause of animals you killed. Did you have to get rid of ‘em in my spot?! Showed ya that in confidence, by the fucking way.”

“Sorry.” You kept your eyes closed. “You could have just told her it was me.”

Leland scoffed, as if you just said the stupidest thing. “No? I ain’t no damn snitch.” He eyed your body. “You owe me.”

“Don’t I owe you, like, a gazillion favours?” Finally, you opened your eyes. Leland was already looking at you.

He just shrugged his shoulders. “Yeah? What, ya plannin’ on leavin’ town? Runnin’ from ya debt?”

“Ha, no. Pretty sure we will both die here.” You let your eyes flutter shut again.

You kept your composure when you felt Leland’s breath fawn over your face. Peaking past your eyelashes, you looked at Leland. He was lying beside you, positioned on his side so he could stare at you.

“Why would I ever let you die?” He was so close, you could feel his body warmth wash over your skin, seeping into your clothes.

“Sometimes, people just die.” You stretch your arms over your head and then turn to your side, staring back at Leland. “I think my father will kill me one day.” It was a fear you have held close to your heart for a long time now. Speaking it out loud made you feel like you were in the confession booth at church.

"We will just have'ta kill him first.”

You couldn’t help but laugh at that. Your father was a big man, and Leland hasn’t even caught up to your height.

He frowned at you. “Don’t laugh!” Leland huffed out. “Besides, I might get drowned in the damn bath one day. You will have’ta avenge mah death.”

Reaching your hand out, you pinched his cheek. He still has his baby fat. “At least you can’t get pregnant. That is a real death sentence. Binding as hell.” You smile at him.

Storm-like eyes never left your face. You lay your head down on your arm. The sun was hidden behind a flock of clouds, and the winds started to pick up.

“Wake me when it is time to go home.” You tell Leland, who just grunted. One time, he just left you in the field, and you were woken up by the rain.

While you drifted off to sleep, you did not dream of anything. You were stuck in a state of emptiness, your mind never truly coming to rest. In the end, you were woken up by thunder rumbling through the sky.

Snapping your eyes open, you saw that Leland was fast asleep with you. Now, that was a rare sight. Unlike you, he suffers from chronic nightmares and terrors which haunt him through the night.

A lightning strike flashed over the darkened sky, making you blink your eyes in irritation. You should stay down, you are not the highest thing in these lands, so you should be safe.

As you sat up, your eyes trailed down to Leland, whose body was twitching. He looked like your dog when he had a dream, chasing after a ball with his legs moving wildly.

Suddenly, he opened his eyes and looked up. Just in time for the thunder to reach both of your ears. He was quick to sit up, his eyes widening as he looked up to the sky.

More lightning, and you saw Leland flinch. You hold your hand out to him. “Hold me. I am scared.” You knew he would never admit to fear, so that was your best way to keep him company.

His hand clamped down on your own, and as always, he squeezed your fingers till they went numb. His other hand wrapped around your upper arm, pulling you close to him.

“Course you’s scared. Little girl.” In your mind, he was projecting on you, but what do you know?

Both of you watched lightning dance over the plains. The more you saw, the more Leland seemed to relax. He was fascinated by the display of raw strength from nature.

“Now that…is justice.” Leland whispered under his breath. “Jus’ God serving justice to the common folk.”

While Leland kept squeezing your bruises hidden under your clothes, you prayed that lightning would strike you down sooner than later.

─── ⋆⋅ ♰ ⋅⋆ ───

He was taller than you now. During one summer, he suddenly shot past you, leering down at your frame. Leland was not scared of lightning anymore, and you wondered what could possibly keep this young man in check.

It wouldn’t be you anymore, because they have finally sent him to some sort of military education. Leland assaulted a boy, forced him to his knees to lick his pecker, and that was it. Before he was sent to military school, you two used to hang out all day everyday. Now, you could only spend your time together during the breaks. But you did warn him that if he did not stop killing animals and touching people, he would be sent away. As always, he would not listen. At least he wrote you funny letters.

Both of you were on your bikes, on your way into town. You carried a bag full of books with you, which you intended to return to the library. What Leland has planned, he wouldn't share with you. He seemed to have found a taste for crime these days.

He brought you to the library, watching as you secured your bike. “When will you be done?”

“Uhm, I dunno.” You threw the bag over your shoulders. “Probably—”

Leland just interrupted you. “Just plant yer sweet ass here. I will come pick ya up. Don’t leave without me, got it?”

You rolled your eyes. “I will leave by myself if you make me wait too long.”

He narrowed his grey eyes at you. “I will hunt you down.”

“Okay? You already know where I live. I don’t feel really threatened right now.” You scratched your head. “Just don’t keep me waiting for too long, I have curfew.”

Leland threw his head back and groaned. “Yeah, yeah. Behave.” He pointed his finger at you to emphasise his words.

This just irritated you further, since he was always getting into trouble. You waved your hand at him and made your way up the steps to the library. Once you finished returning your books and searching for new ones, you sat outside. Planted on the steps, you were reading while waiting for Leland to return.

And return he sure did, a police officer was right by his side. You raised your eyebrow at Leland, who had a bruise blooming around his eye and blood dripping from his nose. Oh, dear.

But, he looked happy? He and the cop were laughing, the older man’s hand came down on Leland’s shoulder, patting him in the way a father would. Now, that really is odd. Leland never really gets along with authority that is not him.

There was another boy with them, your age. You recognise him, he is in your grade, and you have some classes together. He is a popular guy, at least you think you remember something like that. His father is a cop, and he must be the adult man with them.

You don’t talk at school. You don’t talk much in public in general. Words are rarely exchanged between you and your father, and you see no reason to talk to other people. Leland is the only person you really talk to. Sometimes you try to talk to the girls in your class or your teachers, but you always feel yourself clamping up. No sound would escape your throat.

This time is no different.

Your classmate’s eyes landed on you once the trio got closer. He raised his hand and waved at you. Slowly, you closed the book in your lap and shoved it into your bag. Before you realised it, all three of them were looking at you. How you regret not listening to what was going on. To your own defence, Leland talks so much that you have gotten really good at tuning him out.

“That your girlfriend?” Asked the officer with a friendly smile.

You just deadpanned at them. Dating was just part of a long list of things you were not allowed to do. Your father already doesn’t like Leland, for obvious reasons; you did not need your only friend to be gone because he wants to be girlfriend-boyfriend.

Besides, Leland likes sexy and pretty things, and that simply wasn’t you.

The officer laughed at the face you made and just turned back to Leland. “You’re a good kid. Don’t get wrapped in the wrong things, yeah? Stick around, we can give you a purpose.” You do not like the sound of that. The officer tilted his head towards you, “A good woman can really help you stay on track.”

Leland smiled, scratching the back of his head. “I got it. Friday, right? I will be there.” He seemed eager for that…meeting? That just screamed like bad news.

Finally, the cop and your classmate bid goodbye to you two. You didn’t speak, practically pressing your body against the stair railing, watching them leave. Leland didn’t seem fond of you watching someone else. He stepped in front of you and cut off your vision. All you could see now was him.

As always, he was close. A storm brewed behind his grey eyes. “You jealous?”

“Huh?”

“You don’t have’ta worry. I won’t forget ya when I become the leader of that gay get together.” He put his hands on his hips, straightening his back. “You'll be like a queen.”

“Regent or consort?”

“Wha?”

“Queen regent or queen consort?”

He blinked at you like a frog. “…regent.”

“Oh. Nice.”

Leland nodded at you in agreement, as if he knew what he said to you. Just like that, you both unlocked your bikes and went on your way back home.

─── ⋆⋅ ♰ ⋅⋆ ───

You were home alone for the weekend. It was close to Christmas, and there was a horrible snowstorm. Your father was stuck at your aunt’s place, and he will return in a few days.

All the doors and windows were locked, you had your dogs with you, and a gun in every room. You were safe. The danger has left the house. Still, you had a hard time settling down.

Your bedside table lamp was on, the light soft and warm. You kept your eyes focused on your book, trying to lose yourself in the story. It didn’t seem to work, and with a frustrated sigh, you put your book down.

Climbing out of your bed, you went for the loose board in your floor. You dug out your cigarettes and lighter, which you kept hidden from your father. As you lit up your cigarette, you walked over to your window and unlocked it. You really didn’t need your room to be filled with smoke.

Just as you rested your elbow on the windowsill, a rock hit you right in the forehead. Your hand flew to the spot between your brows, and you yelped.

“Shit!” Leland whisper shouted.

Tears stung your eyes. As if you haven’t had enough bruises in your lifetime. “Motherfucker!” You yelled down to Leland, slamming your window shut. Your cigarette was dropped in the garden, and you mourned over it.

You made your way down the stairs, searching for a rag in the kitchen. Glaring at yourself in the hallway mirror, you carefully cleaned the small wound that was left.

There was a knock on the back door. You rolled your eyes. That asshole sure was stubborn. You brushed your bangs back over your forehead to hide your little injury.

Another set of knocks, this time more urgent, sounded through the house. One of these days, you will choke Leland out, just like you did when you were children. But he is stronger and taller than you now, and he wouldn’t hesitate to return to favour, so you will have to find a non-violent way to get your revenge.

Eh, if you have to open the back door, you might as well go out in the garden to smoke with Leland. Your dogs were hot on your tail, their nails scratched against the floor as they dutifully followed after you.

The door handle was giggling impatiently, and you slammed your hand against the door. Then, you unlocked it as you lit up your cigarette.

You came face-to-face with Leland, who looked concerned. Now that was irritating you, considering he rarely worries about anything besides himself. “Are you okay?”

Furrowing your brows, your eyes flickered behind Leland, and you saw a group of boys behind him. You were quick to snap the door shut. Leland was faster, wedging his combat boots in between the door frame.

He just acted concerned to have a good image of himself in his social group, which isn’t a surprise. Leland has a temper, and he is awful, but he has charisma. He can easily talk his way out of shitty situations.

“Go away.” You hissed at him through the gap in your door. You cannot believe you were ready to share your cigarettes with him.

Leland just smiled at you, as if you were some scared, feral animal. “C’mon, sweetness, open the door. Did I hit yer head too hard?” You opened your mouth to send him away again, but Leland interrupted you. His voice was quieter, colder.“Hey. You owe me.” His grey eyes practically pierced your soul.

You pressed your lips together. Then you kicked your leg out and got Leland away from the door, and you closed it again. Rubbing your hands over your face, you sighed.

You opened a drawer and shoved the revolver into the pocket of your cardigan, which covered your nightgown. You slipped into your father’s slippers and opened the door.

The boys seemed to be discussing when you looked at them. Leland turned around, very pleased to see you follow his order. You stepped forward, closing the door behind you. Crossing your arms, you waited for Leland to talk.

“I didn’t know you lived ‘round here.” Came a familiar voice. Your classmate, and who Leland was with at the library. He smiled at you, shifting on his feet.

You just blinked at him. You don’t talk at school, so you don’t get why he has to speak to you now. Can’t he get the hint since you already ignore him in class?

All you could do was turn back to Leland. Your dogs avoided him. They could probably smell the evil on him. You watched the boys pet the dogs, who happily wagged their tails.

“Why do you have to bring a horde of men to my door?” You whispered to Leland.

He plucked the cigarette from your lips and took a drag from it. “Relax. Just need some—”

“I am so sorry, we are intruding on you at this late hour.” Your classmate joined the conversation, shuffling closer to you.

You practically gritted it out through your clenched teeth, your voice fighting through your nerves. “It’s fine.”

A breathy laugh left his lips. “This is the first time I have heard you speak.”

Leland narrowed his eyes at his friend, dropping his fake friendly demeanour. You practically feel irritated right now. Going through your hair with your hand, you went to glare at your classmate, whose name you couldn’t even bother to remember.

“So you don’t know where I live. You never heard me speak. And you still drop love letters in my locker? Don’t talk to me if you do not know me.” Your voice cracked as you forced yourself to speak. “Gimme back my cig!” You snatched the cigarette out of Leland’s mouth.

If looks could kill, your classmate would be dead from Leland glaring daggers at the guy. You took drags from your cigarette, your hands felt sweaty, and your foot kept tapping against the floor. It was cold outside, and you could feel your toes start to freeze, close to falling off.

Your classmate was stuttering around, a deep blush dusted over his face. He was quick to step back, obviously embarrassed. He joined back in with the others, petting your dogs.

Leland’s eyes never left the other boy. “He is so fuckin’ dead.”

“Leland, why are you here? Please, just leave. I don’t like a group of guys lurking around while I am home alone.” You grabbed his arm, trying to get him to look at you.

His eyes flickered to you. “We wanna burn something—oh, look at that smug, dumbass face. Letters? What kinda letters?” He got distracted fast.

“You need, like, kerosene?” You tried to get him back on track.

Leland wrapped his hand around your wrist, squeezing till you had to hold back a whimper of pain. “Answer my goddamn question.”

“I don’t read ‘em! I just throw them out, so I don’t know.” You tried to get his grip off of you. “I read one and hated it.”

Leland searched your face for any lies. He seemed pleased not to find any. “Yeah, we need something like kerosene.”

You hummed, “There’s some lighter fluid in the tool shed. I can grab the keys—”

Leland was fast in hauling you back inside the house. You struggled to keep up with his long legs. He closed the door behind you two once you were back inside. You mourned after your left behind dogs, who started whining and scratching at the door.

“Give me the keys. I will get the stuff, then I'll give ‘em back to you.” His eyes roamed all over your body. “Don’t go outside again. Why the fuck would you even open the door dressed like that.”

You looked down at your nightgown, which reached your ankles, with your thick cardigan, which practically swallowed you whole. “What is wrong with my clothes?”

“They are provocative!” Leland’s hands flew around while blurting that out. “That should count as public indecency.”

Leland was an unreasonable guy, but now he was talking crazy even for his standards. “…Are you okay?”

“No! How can I sleep at night, when other guys are fuckin’ allowed to—to look at you.” He turned his anger towards you. “You are ready to whore yourself out to any guy who passes by.” At least Leland had the decency to regret his choice of words.

“I am a whore, you kiss your mother with that mouth, so I think we make pretty good friends.” You kept your emotions to yourself. There truly wasn’t anything Leland could say about you that you haven’t thought about already.

Leland dragged his hands over his face. “Give me the damn keys.”

“I will need ‘em back.” You sighed out. Making your way around, you got the keys and handed them to Leland.

He stood by the back door, his hand on his belt. Leland gladly took the keys. “Lock the door.”

“I always do.”

“Don’t talk to guys.”

“That include you?”

“Don’t sass me, sweetheart.” Leland scratched his chin. “Seriously. Don’t talk to other guys, or I will have to drop their bodies in the ditch.”

“Get out of my house.”

Leland opened the door, and your dogs tumbled in. He closed the door behind him, disappearing into the night. You were quick to lock the door, going back to your bedroom.

─── ⋆⋅ ♰ ⋅⋆ ───

You sat in church with your father, Leland and his own parents. The seat was uncomfortable as always, and you could feel Jesus stare into your soul from his cross. Cold sweat ran down your neck as you kept your eyes focused on the Bible, trying to ignore your sins crawling up your back.

Your classmate is also in the church, but he has not looked your way once. His eyes flickered to Leland once, and he hasn’t been on the same side of the church since. There was no use in wasting your energy thinking about it.

Kneeling down, you clasped your hands together as you prayed. You don’t have to open you eyes to know that Leland was looking at you, while everyone else was praying.

You moved your lips as you silently mouthed out your prayer.

Dear Lord, please kill me. Let me die. Let me trip on a stone, allow me to fall asleep in the bathtub, I want the car to crash, I could choke on my food. There are so many ways for me to die, pick a kind one, please.

─── ⋆⋅ ♰ ⋅⋆ ───

Leland keeps harassing the cattle with the cattle prod. When he feels especially electrified, he likes to chase you across the pasture with it. You cannot say you are fond of that.

You climbed over the fence, trying to lose him in the barn. He was hot on your tail, his laughter echoed in your mind, spurring you on.

“Leland!” You yelped out, tripping over a rock, but you were able to catch yourself. “Leave me alone!”

“Sweetness, c’mon! Stay still, will ya!” He seemed euphoric.

Suddenly, you were tackled to the ground. Before Leland could fully pin you down on the ground, you were able to roll onto your back. He sat down on your legs, and the cattle prod was abandoned somewhere.

Leland wrapped his hands around your face and smashed his lips against yours. Your brain struggled to keep up with the speed at which everything was going. He pressed his tongue into your mouth, and then he decided to just bite down on your lower lip. You yelped, and he forced his tongue in.

He stopped the kiss, pressing his nose into your neck, and he inhaled your scent. Leland’s teeth sank into your skin, making you whimper. You didn’t have to ask him what was happening, because you knew it all from home already.

His tongue pressed against the bite mark in a sort of sick apology. “I have been thinking.” Leland mumbled against your throat. When Leland starts thinking, it usually ends badly for you. “Since I hate seein’ you with anyone else, we should just get married. It has been buildin’ up to it anyway. But, how can we get married with all these fuckin’ obstacles? You just gotta get pregnant, sweetheart. Otherwise, we will never get our parents’ blessin’!”

Now you started to struggle against his grip. You can accept Leland raping you, you know what he is at the end of the day, but you don’t want to get pregnant. The thought makes you feel sick.

“Stop it.” You tried to shake him off, but it had little effect on his bigger body.

“Al’ight, sweetness, I don’t wanna hurt you too much. So, you better stop that.” His hand slid under your shirt, grabbing at your tit.

“Leland—” You tried again, squeezing your eyes shut as you felt his hard dick press into your pelvis.

The back of his hand connected with your cheek, making your head snap to the side. Tears gathered in your eyes. “Fuckin’ look at me!” Leland huffed out. “You can never leave, don’t even try retreating into your mind.”

You took in a deep breath, looking into Leland’s wild eyes. Taking his face into your hands, you pulled him down, kissing your assaulter. He easily took the bait, melting into your touch.

Leland had settled between your legs, his hands pressing down on your shoulders to keep you down. You wrapped your legs around his waist, making him happily hum.

He really didn’t expect you to flip you both around. Leland looked confused and dazed as you sat in his lap; his lips were kiss-bruised. You slammed your elbow into his face, and his nose made a sick crunching noise under the pressure.

Leland’s hands flew to his face, holding his bleeding nose. He threw curses and insults at you as you scrambled off his lap. It didn’t help much. He wrapped his hand around your ankle and made you slam into the ground.

He was quick in crawling back on top of you. Blood dripped on you as he had a wicked smile on his face. “That is why I like you best. Make me work for it, baby.”

Your hand searched around the ground and wrapped around a rock. You could feel the sharp edge dig into your palm, like a blade. Leland fiddled around with his zipper when you struck him down.

The stone scraped against his collarbone, skin split open under the force. Leland screamed, and you smashed the rock against the side of his head. He lay on the floor, bleeding from his chest, nose and head.

You pushed yourself away from his body. Is he dead? Did you accidentally kill him? His eye snapped open, staring you down. You didn’t look back when you ran back home, the rock left behind with Leland’s body.

Leland slowly sat up. He shakes his head, and a pleasant pain radiates all through his body. He watched you run away, his hand pressed against his chest wound, and he groaned. You were truly the apple of his eye; who else would be so much fun to chase around?

─── ⋆⋅ ♰ ⋅⋆ ───

He keeps trying to get back on your good side. Leland hasn’t succeeded yet. You doubt he has stopped thinking about that weird plan of his. He was stubborn like that.

Leland swung the cattle prod around, as if he were a sword fighter. He kept loitering around your backyard, which your father hates. They have a cat-and-mouse relationship, where your father keeps chasing him off, and Leland just comes back a few minutes later. That he hasn’t been shot yet is surprising.

“Die! Die, commie scum!” Leland grunted out, his cattle proud, hitting the tree.

You sat on the porch, reading your book. Leland plopped down beside you, spreading his legs apart and knocking your knees together.

“Whatcha readin’?” He asked, as his hands fumbled for his cigarettes.

You simply raised the cover, showing Leland the title. He just grunted in confirmation. You haven’t spoken to him in a few weeks, communicating the same way you do with your father.

Leland’s fingers played with strands of your hair as you continued reading. “Yer gonna talk to me again?”

You didn’t even bother glancing at him.

Leland put the cigarette to his mouth and lit it up. He held out the pack to you, but you declined with a shake of your head. Leland rested his head on the headrest of the bench and just looked at you. His eyes trailed over all the curves and slopes on your face, making you feel flustered.

His finger poked your cheek as he spoke. “On the radio, they said there will be a thunderstorm over the plains later in the evening. Wanna watch with me, honey?”

Leland has been copying the pet names his mother uses. You have always wondered which plays a bigger role in creating someone like him: nature or nurture? Did his mother start assaulting him, causing him to lash out, or has he been hurting animals and people before that? He wouldn’t tell if you asked him; there was no use in musing over useless what-ifs.

You sighed out. “…Sure.” Giving in was inevitable. Who else could you hang out with? Besides, you want to ask him for a favour.

A smile lit up his face. “I will be knockin’ on that window, then!” Before Leland could talk more, the door opened, and your father didn’t even say anything; he just started swinging the broom at Leland. Your friend was faster, scrambling away with the cattle prod in hand.

Once the sun settled, you waited outside for Leland. Raindrops were already starting to fall, and in the distance, you could hear thunder rumble. You saw Leland walk up to your property, and you walked towards him.

He already looked excited, and he looked especially happy to see you. His arm wrapped around your waist as he tugged you along. Leland likes standing in the fields to watch the storms. They might be empty right now, but it was still a nice spot.

The sky lit up for a second, making your breath stutter. You wonder how dangerous watching the storm is. What are the chances of being hit by lightning?

You reached your lookout spot. It wasn’t too far away from both of your houses, but there was enough distance that nobody could easily spot you two. You plopped down on the ground. Leland was right beside you. His arm brushed against your own.

Both of you let the lightning and thunder wash over you. The rain was beating down on you both, practically soaking your jacket. Leland had his neck craned, looking up into the sky. You watched him till he tilted his head towards you.

Leland inched closer to you, and you let him. His hand reached out towards you, cupping the nape of your neck. Leland’s fingers brushed over your cold skin, and he leaned in. His lips brushed over your wet lips, and you let your eyes flutter shut.

You twisted your hands into Leland’s jacket as he kissed you. He was much gentler than last time. You could feel him smile into the kiss, as both his hands wrapped around your neck. His hold was loose, fingers resting on your pulse point.

“Leland.” You muttered against his lips. He happily hummed. You discontinued the kiss, causing Leland to glare at you. His hand pushed against your neck, trying to pull you back into a kiss, but you resisted.

You put your hands on Leland’s shoulders as you climbed on his lap. His body tensed up under you, and his hands tightened their grip on your neck. “It’s jus’ me.” You whispered into the night.

He nodded his head, forcing his body to relax. “It’s just you.” Leland mirrored your words. He dropped his hands from your neck, putting them on your knees. You felt him pull up your night gown, his hands glided up your thighs, till he pinched your ass.

With a sigh, you yanked Leland’s hands away from you. You put his hands back around your neck. “Can you do me a favour?” You batted your eyelashes at him.

“What’cha need, sweetness?” Leland’s eyes were focused on the cleavage of your nightgown.

“Can you kill me?” You gently asked. Leland tried to pull his hands out of your grasp, but you did not let him.

“Fuck off. You are supposed to be with me, not fuckin’ die.” He seethed through his teeth.

You felt tears sting your eyes as you pleaded. “Please, Leland. I’m too weak to do it myself, and I trust you. I want you to have my body. Don’t let it rot with him.”

Leland’s thumb dug into your pulse point, feeling the fluttering under his tense touch. “Can you at least try runnin’ away with me, before I kill yer suicidal ass?”

You dropped your head to his broad shoulder and shook your head. “I’m so tired.” Is all you can mumble out.

Leland shifted under you, his hand buried itself into your hair. “It ain’t that bad.” Raising your head to deadpan at Leland, you tried to crawl off his lap. His free arm wrapped around your waist, keeping you trapped against his chest. “Watch the storm with me, c’mon.”

He pressed his cheek against yours, as you both looked out at your houses. You breathed through your despair. You could drown yourself in the bathtub. Maybe take a blade and rip open your veins. You just need to gather the courage.

Another lightning strike crawled over the sky, making you flinch because immediately after, thunder followed. You were right below the storm. The rain has picked up its intensity, drowning you both.

It didn’t take long for another thunderbolt to appear; this time, it hit your house.

Leland chuckled in delight. His hands wandered over your back, keeping you down. The night was illuminated by a fire spreading from the roof, eating its way down the walls.

“Holy shit.” You breathed out, trying to get out of Leland’s lap.

“Don’t—” He tried to stop you, but you slapped his grip off and ran towards your house.

Even with the rain and the wind, the fire started spreading fast. Your feet got stuck in the mud as you ran as fast as you could. Your lungs burned, and the rain made it hard to see. Leland was right behind you.

You stood before your burning home. The heat of the flames radiated towards you, even though you were a few feet away. The light burned your eyes, especially with the stark contrast of the night.

Your eyes landed on the bedroom window of your father. He must be sleeping. Would the smoke kill him before the flames burned his flesh? Could he survive this? Can you get into the house and burn with him.

With a whimper, you stumbled forward. You could get inside and save the pictures of your mother. You don’t have much left of her.

Leland forced you to turn towards him, a strict expression on his face. “Don’t get inside! What the fuck is the matter with you!?”

“I have to—”

“Have to what?! Leave me? You want to leave so fuckin’ badly!” Leland’s hand clamped around your jaw, pulling you towards him. “Maybe I should choke you out. At least dead you would stay here.”

Your eyes flickered behind Leland, and you could see his parents approach you two. You shake his hand off, giving him a sign to look behind.

Mrs Coyle wrapped her bathrobe around herself as she stared at the fire. “We called the fire station, honey. They should be here soon. Where is your father?”

“..Inside.” You just looked the house up and down.

Your eyes rested on the upper floor windows, and you saw a hand beat down against the window, sliding down. Nausea washed over you. He is dying. Finally. You will miss him. You hate him deeply.

“I have to sit down.” You sniffled, wiping away confusing tears.

Everything passed by in a blur, and when you try to remember the events of that night years later, you always mess up the details. All you remember was Leland, your aunt picking you up, and your friend never responding to your letters.

plus+ Bogomolova judging you