𐕣

Your mouth dropped open, “I wasn’t!” You totally were. She caught you mid eye roll.

“We need your help in the kitchen. This time, please don’t try to revolutionise the women. Thank you, love.” She pointed to the kitchen as you both walked through the garden.

Instead of working, you were helping your parents throw some sort of church get together. They planned to do a BBQ and welcome new potential members in. This is how they get them, by being oh so nice and helpful and welcome them into a community and then BAM! They are loyal church members, which donate money and keep their wives barefoot and pregnant.

As you entered your childhood home, you had to fight the oppressive air. You squared your shoulders, straightened your back and raised your chin. Nobody will get you down, no matter what.

You opened the kitchen door with a smile, “Hello, everyone!”

Your sister turned around, some looked more happy to see you than others. They practically swarmed you, hands on your body and hair. You were showered in questions. How are you? How is college? Is it exiting? What is it like living alone?

You answered everything with a breathless laugh, returning hugs and kisses. Even though some of the questions repeated themselves over the years, you still kept answering them. Nobody asked about your job, and you didn’t bring it up.

The new women in the group were nice, and you introduced yourself. They were all lovely women. Only sometimes you felt left out of place, when conversations shifted to husbands and children. Your favourite sister-in-law asked you if you could speak with your brother. You promised her you would.

People started to gather in the garden. The wives joined you all in the kitchen, and if they didn’t help, they gossiped. You did like to hear who was caught wearing women’s underwear. You made sure to remember every detail, so you could share it with Alastor later.

Your oldest sister had her lips tightly pressed together, stress clearly showing on her pretty face. She turned to you, and pushed a bowl of salad into your hands. “Put it on the table outside. If anyone eats from it, yell at them. You have my permission.”

Her word was God, so you did take that serious. You were the youngest of 13 siblings, there were 14 of you in total, so your eldest siblings were there for you, to raise you, to comfort you, to support you. Even though they partially failed at the last part. You have forgiven them a long time ago.

Just as you were about to leave the kitchen, a woman entered. She was very beautiful, and short. Her dark brown skin was practically glowing. Her braids framed her soft, round face. She had two boys on her hands, and a nervous smile on her face. “Uhm, excuse me, I was told there was childcare…?”

Your sister jumped in, with a smile. “Of course, let me show you! Boys, what are your names?”

The woman seemed vaguely familiar to you. All you could do was watch her leave. You couldn’t put your finger on it, but the bowl in your hand was heavy. So, you made your way outside. You set the salad down on a bench table. Looking into the sky, you searched for the smoke coming form the grill.

Your mother doesn’t like the smoke near her, so usually your brother grills around a corner. Finally, you found it. With a sigh, you glanced at the kitchen window and sneaked away. You hate domestic work with a passion.

Rounding the corner, you were ready to sneak up on your beloved brother. When you saw Adam with him, your stomach dropped for a second. Just how far does this stalking go? This might be one too far. Hopefully, it is just one creepy coincidence.

With the way Adam’s eyes widen in shock at seeing you, he might really not have known you would be here. This is your home, so technically, he is the intruder. Your brother saw Adam’s expression, and turned around.

“The prodigal daughter returns!” Noah greeted you with a big smile, opening his arm for you. His other hand was occupied with flipping patties and sausages.

You could not hide your own joy, throwing yourself into the side huge. Noah gave your head a kiss, and squeezed your shoulder. You stepped away from him, looking at Adam. “Hello, officer.”

“What the hell are you doing here?” He seemed genuinely confused.

“I live here!” You just wanted to mess with him.

“No, you fucking don’t. You live in the city.” He pointed his finger at you. “You are a city rat.”

That made you throw your head back, laughing. Your brother, protective as ever, didn’t share your humour. With sharp eyes he threatened Adam, “Watch your tone. You won’t be welcomed here next Sunday if you keep that up.”

Adam looked now even more confused. His eyes flickered to you and then your brother, coming to some sort of conclusion. You decided to reveal the big secret. “That’s my big brother. My father is the minister? This is my childhood home?”

Obviously Adam came to the wrong answer, with the way he seemed relieved. Still, the questions didn’t stop. “But you are a—” He stopped himself.

“I am a stripper? You are nearly fours years too late for that blackmailing. Everyone knows.” You just shrugged your shoulders.

Adam raised his eyebrow, “That’s cool. Progressive church?”

“No.” You answered directly. Adam scratched his head. Since he seemed to be lost for words, you turned to your brother. “I heard you are mean to my favourite family member?”

“I was your favourite family member once, you remember? When you were little and always wanted to spend time with me?” He got lost in nostalgia.

“Get your act together. You are lucky you didn’t get stoned to death, yet.” You threatened him.

Noah rolled his eyes and flipped another patty. “Shut up. One day I take over the church, I will show ‘em.” He might be a fully fledged minister, but he just kept to your fathers church. Helping out and taking over when your father is sick or on vacation. He lived with his wife and their 2 children on the property. You loved his wife, she was kind, the real kind that seems to go extinct.

And he is gay. She knows, you know and that is about it. You like to joke he infected you with he gay virus, only you half recovered. He never thought that was funny. You do hope he turns the church gay. Maybe a gay club? That’d be sick.

Your brother put the last of the meat into the pot. “Food is ready.” He picked up the huge container and made his way to the table, leaving you behind with Adam.

Adam and you stood there, awkwardly. “I haven’t seen Lute around, is she not stalking me anymore?”

Adam smiled, “Why? You miss her? Don’t worry about her, she is one bad ass bitch. She is busy with investigation.” He didn’t mention anything about the kiss, she must have not told him then.

“And why haven’t you been around?” You couldn’t help but ask.

“Me? I have been busy fucking pussy, obviously.” Now that was a lie.

“I will go ask my brother.” You feigned turning around, and Adam was quick to stop you.

“Do not! Fuck, I have been going through divorce papers with my wife.” He confessed, rubbing his neck.

You gasped. “What did you do?”

Adam seemed offended at that question. “Me?! Bitch, nothing! She is a cheating whore, that is what fucking happened. If you see her, offer her job at your club. She would fit right in.”

You sharply inhaled. “Ah. My condolences. At least you don’t have children.” Adam made a guilty face, and you starred at him. “…How many?”

“Two idiot boys. I would exchange those two for a lap dance, if you are interested.” He tried to ease up the tense atmosphere.

You giggled, “No, thank you. I have got to go, before my fellow women report me missing.” Turning around, you left Adam behind.

‿̩͙⊱༒︎༻♱༺༒︎⊰‿̩͙

You ate so much, you felt sick. Most people have already left, only the real close circle kept sticking around. Which apparently included Adam and his family? They were still here.

Eve was attending to the children with the other women. Keeping babies and toddlers entertained. You finally recognised her. She was in your club, as a customer. She was there with a blond couple. She acts awkward and uncomfortable around you, making it worse. If she acted normal, nobody would act like that. You wonder if you should tell Adam, or if it would make things worse for his emotional state.

Pulling your cardigans tighter around you, you stretched your legs out in front of you. You sat separated from others, by your own choice. There were empty chairs around you, and you hoped nobody would sit down near you.

The creak of plastic made you jolt, and you looked at your right to see Adam sitting down on a chair close to you. There was still a comfortable distance between you two, which was quickly destroyed by Adam scooting closer to you. He starred at your face, and you wondered what he wants from you.

“Ask away.” You bury your hands in the pockets of your cardigan.

“Why strip? I don’t fucking get it, I saw the degrees in the house. Your siblings all got diplomas.” Adam seemed irritated, as if you were stupid. “Obviously your parents would have paid for college.”

“Brother’s.” You correct him.

“What?”

“These are my brother’s degrees. If you are a son, you get to go to college. If you are a daughter, you don’t get a college fund.” You inform him, trying to keep your voice even and rational.

Adam blinked at you, “You are lying to me.” Because that was easier than facing the truth.

“Nope! You know, I begged and begged to go to college. I said they can choose my degree, I will live at home, I will have a curfew, I will help out at church. My father refused. He said education isn’t for girls.” You kicked a pebble with your sneakers, which your mother said made your ankles look wide, “So, one night I just left. With Alastor, of course. We each got our own apartments and Mammon gave me a job.”

“Fuck. I didn’t realise it was that bad.”

You shrug your shoulders. “My mother and most of my sisters struggle with reading and basic math. They were all home schooled, kept stupid to be more docile. My brothers of course had private tutors. The only reason I went to public school is because I loved Alastor so much, and never wanted to be separated from him, and I am the youngest, so my parents just gave up with me.”

Adam pressed his lips together, he looked away from you, towards the plants your mother had carefully planted. He is a sexist, but apparently even he draws the line somewhere.

“How did you even meet Alastor?” Adam’s eyes were focused on the flowers now.

“Hm, his mother and father were both church members here. He was the only fun child in the group.” Alastor was always up to no good with you, he was just better at hiding his tracks. Thankfully, he took you under his wing and showed you how to plan and scheme. Everyone likes to say that you corrupted him, but it is more the other way around.

“They are not members anymore?” What is he so interested in your best friend?

“They are dead.”

“Fuck, I gotta stop asking questions. At least in my private life, I still need it for work.” Adam groaned.

“You know what’s funny?” You were in a sharing mood now.

“What?” Adam spread his leg, his knee pushing into your thigh.

“When my family found out about me stripping, everyone went crazy, right? And then, my father called me. He told me he accepts my deal. I will move back home, he will choose a degree for me, I will have a strict curfew and he will pay for it.” You laughed at the memory. “And I told him no, like, what the hell? I am totally independent now? Why would I ever accept that shitty proposition? Anyway, he hasn’t talked to me ever since. He just ignores me and vice versa.”

Adam laughed with you, “Some people are just dumb like that.” He stopped mid laugh, “You think it is bad I called my minister dumb?”

Biting down on your lip to stifle the laughter, you shook your head. “You should change churches. The higher your donations, the more likely you are to be forgiven for infidelity here. I have seen it now multiple times. The very thing Luther lost his marbles over.”

“Damn it. I hate cheating. It just sucks ass, just break up with me? Or separate?” He massaged his forehead. Then, he pointed at a chubby, blond boy. “You think he looks like me?”

Squinting your eyes, you looked at the boy. He was currently crying, while his older brother stood by him. The crying didn’t deter the older boy, and he shoved his brother again.

“The blonde one, kinda? But the older one, that is all you.” You leaned back in your chair. “Cute kids.” You watched as Eve got to the boys, and picked up the blonde one, comforting him. The older one watched in envy as his brother was carried away.

“You want marriage and children?” Adam asked.

You turned your head to look at Adam, and you noticed that he had taken his weeding ring off. There was only a pale sliver of skin left, where once the golden band sat. His hair had grey streaks, and his eye bags shone through his olive skin.

“Marriage maybe. Children no.” You answer truthfully.

“Why no kids? A bump would look sexy on you.” Adam grinned, arms crossed behind his head.

Your hands flew to your stomach, “Bitch, don’t wish something evil like that on me. Besides, have you seen this figure? I am not letting anyone ruin that. I also only let hot women suck on my tits.” You made sure to keep your voice low, so you don’t get in trouble for your words.

“Shut up. Mom bods are hot, trust me. Who are you going to marry then?” Adam seemed genuinely interested.

“Alastor, probably.” You shove your hands pack into the cardigan pockets. It was starting to get cold.

Adam rolled his eyes, “Why that twink?”

You chuckled at that, “Because he is always there for me, and the benefits are great. From taxes to having medical authority. I don’t want my family to pull the plug on me—or worse, they don't pull the plug. You know?”

“You are such a pretty girl, you could do much better than some low radio host.” Adam just shakes his head.

“Like what? A police officer?” You raise your eye brow at him.

“Why not?” Adam doesn’t even pretend to be bashful. “You want my phone number?”

“No. Did you know that 40% of police officer families experience domestic violence? Now think how high the number of unreported cases is.” You cross your ankles.

“How did you even come up with that number?” He sounded whiny. “It doesn’t even matter. I got your phone number, you will hear form me.” Adam basically threatened you.

“How do you have my number?” You snapped your head towards Adam.

Adam shrugged, a grin on his face as if it was Christmas. “Don’t worry about it, baby.”

“I really hate you.” Is all you could grumble out. Adam was giving you a headache. Before Adam could give some response, you spotted a familiar figure. There he finally was. “Alastor!” Your whole face light up.

Alastor’s eyes focused in on you, and he smiled. His long legs easily carried him over to you. “Hello, my dear. I see you are in need of rescue.”

“I am! I missed you.” You were quick to pull a chair close to you, having Alastor sit down. “Did you eat?”

“I did.” Alastor crossed his legs. “I am here with my car. Do you already know when you would like to leave?”

“Soon. Did you say hello to everyone?” You asked, resting your head on Alastor’s broad shoulder.

“Of course. It is the polite thing to do. We can leave whenever you would like, darling.” Alastor reassured you. His finger tapped against his thigh, as he unhappily glanced at Adam.

“The fuck are you looking at?” Adam hissed out, defences up.

Alastor sighed dramatically. “It is sad how church has lost its prestigious imagine, wouldn’t you agree? Just letting any feral stray into a flock of sheep.” Oh boy, you really don’t need the two men to fight.

Adam glared at Alastor, “I will show you feral stray, you—” He was interrupted by his son running up to him. The older boy climbed in his father’s lap eagerly.

“Dad! Mom said we should leave!” His voice sounded rough from playing all day. He chased a lot of children around with a stick.

Adam threw one last glare at Alastor, before taking his son into his arms. “Yeah, Cain? If your mother says it is time to leave, it means we gotta leave.” He turned to you, and only you. “I will see you around.” Adam stuck his tongue out to Alastor, and cain was quick to copy his father. With that they left, meeting up with Eve and the blond kid, and walking away.

“That man should not reproduce.” Alastor looked towards the sky.

“I know, right?” You stood up. “Let’s get out of here, I just want to go home and pass out.”

As Adam drove his own family home, he couldn’t help but let his thoughts wander. You weren’t the man-killer, that was for sure. Your multiple alibi fit, and you also didn’t belong in the profile that his team has constructed.

His memory flickered to the security footage of the club, where the college student was last seen. He was harassing you, but you left and he talked to you on the way home. Alastor on the other hand lingered around, only leaving when the man did.

Because he is always there for me.

Your hands quickly palm your body all over, checking for any visible injuries. You have all your limbs; your fingers and toes are intact, and the dull pain you now notice in various places is bearable.

Most importantly, you are alive.

“Finally awake, sleeping beauty?” Came Adam’s voice. A stick in hand, he sits by a bonfire that is set up between you two, just poking around—visibly bored out of his mind.

There are a few bruises on his arms and a trail of dried blood around his nose, but other than that, he looks… fine? As fine as one could be after a freaking plane crash.

“What happened?” You wince and reach towards the right side of your head. Your memory is spotty to say the least.

“Did you hit your head? The fucking plane crashed.” Adam rolls his eyes before pointing his finger behind you.

When you turn around, you see the plane, or what was left of it. It crashed near the beach—where even are you?—and it looked absolutely horrifying. Seeing such a huge metal contraption destroyed, torn in half and smashed up as if it were a mere can of soda was a terrifying sight for sure.

The other survivors have gathered in little groups as well. Some are sitting around their own fire while others just stand around, lost. A bit further away, you notice a pile of what looks like wet clothes spilling out of the passengers' luggage, but when you squint your eyes, you realise that the wetness isn't from the water—the fabrics are saturated with blood.

With a sharp intake of breath, you quickly turn back towards the fire. “I don’t even remember the crash.”

“Shit, I got the same stupid amnesia.” Adam glares at the flames. “I don’t fucking like this. I have never forgotten anything in my life.”

All you can do is shrug, “Lots of reasons to forget a traumatic event.”

He side-eyes you, “Maybe for you women, but me, a man—”

“Are you incapable of having a normal conversation?” You finally snap at him. The sun is blazing down on you; you are thirsty, aching all over, confused and most likely concussed as well, and Adam just can't drop his exhausting demeanour even for a moment.

“Me?” He points at himself with the tip of his burning stick. “Bitch, you are the one interrupting me. Were you raised by wolves—or worse, atheists?”

“Were you raised in some Christian cult?” You counter him with a question of your own instead, now genuinely wondering.

“Define cult—”

“Okay. Enough.” You wave your hand at him. This is getting you nowhere, just raising your blood pressure.

He frowns and pouts, mumbling something along the lines of how you got some audacity instead of tits, but you straight-up ignore him. You simply continue looking around.

It seems like you two are way further away from everyone else. You can still see other passengers, but you think they might have a hard time keeping an eye on Adam and you. Apart from the pile of metal scraps that once held a likeness of a plane, your back is guarded by steep cliffs. Nobody and nothing could sneak up on you here, even from the dense forest on your right.

Finally, you notice that you have been sitting on some type of makeshift mat, made out of clothes and leaves. Adam also has one, yet, for some reason, he chooses to squat in the sand over it.

“Why are we so far away from the others?” You blurt out, unable to stay quiet.

His tongue pokes out, “You wanna be around strangers in a survival situation?”

“You are a stranger too.”

“ ‘m a good stranger. I am not some thief or killer.”

Truthfully, that wasn’t even a possibility you considered. Not in this situation, at least, where teamwork is really important for everyone's survival. But even if Adam is not outright dangerous, that doesn't mean he isn't a secret third thing, “Because you're a pervert?”

Adam glares at you, “You can fucking go if you want. I could have left your pathetic ass behind—I am the guy you want to have around.”

You sigh, “Why would I leave the guy who makes me a bed, a fire and carries me around?”

“Yeah, ex-fucking-actly—why are you making me sound like some fucking idiot cuck?”

“If the shoe fits?” You tease him only to get sand thrown your way. "You were the one to use that word, not me!"

“I won’t share my rations with you since I am an idiot. Those wild animals are already fighting over peanuts.” He gestures to the other survivors with a jab of his thumb.

You roll your eyes and follow the direction he just pointed towards, gasping dramatically when you see how greedy everybody is. “I didn’t even have a chance to get something! Don’t let me starve?” You look back at Adam, but when you see him smirk triumphantly, you quickly change your tune, “Actually, I will starve. When I am dead, my rotting corpse will hopefully make you sick. Literally. I will spread germs and fungus like crazy.”

“Shut up. Nobody is starving.” He scratches his chin. “You’d die of dehydration before you starve.”

“Okay, Mr Survival.” You lean back on your hands, sand warm between your fingers. If you closed your eyes, you could almost pretend that you were back home, strolling through your local market without a care in the world and sinking your hands into sacks of grain before passing to the next stall. But you are not. You are still on the beach—lost and confused. “What now?”

“We pray and wait.”

You scoff at that and let yourself fall back with a deep sigh, “Did you get any blankets?”

Just as you finish your inquiry, the heavy fabric hits you straight in the face. You grab and pull it away, covering your body with a small huff, “Thanks.”

All that Adam does is grunt in response.

The sky has darkened since you woke up, now speckled with tiny stars—your only source of brightness in the night. Reaching your hand out, you trace over different clusters of light, but cannot make out any constellations amongst any of them. Frowning, you murmur to yourself, but loud enough for Adam to hear, “I can’t find the North Star.”

Adam’s head snaps up, his eyes frantically searching the dark sky. “I really fucking hate this island.”

You wondered for a moment if you landed in the southern hemisphere somehow, but that was just ridiculous. “Hm. Probably just behind a cloud.”

“Sure. Or we—” Adam stopped himself and just swore under his breath.

“Or what?”

“Nothing.”

“Share with the circle.” You gesture with your arms.

“Mind your own damn business, woman.”

“Now that we are partners in survival, we should share everything with each other. How else are we supposed to build trust?”

“What’s your bra size?”

You click your tongue and roll onto your side, facing the dark waters of the Pacific, now merged together with the night skies. “Go die.”

Adam barks out a laugh, “If I die, you die. So watch yourself.”

You don’t really like the idea of being dependent on a stranger like this. What if he really is a pervert? What then? He is thrice your size, and you would lose in a physical fight. Would someone else help you? Or would they turn their heads the other way? Will everything fall apart in anarchy? You really hope not.

You sit up again, pressing your knees to your chest and your lips against the tops of them. “Are you really a good guy?”

“Maybe,” he seems to be lost in thought, not even looking at you as he speaks, “Maybe I am the worst person you will ever fucking meet. Hard to tell.”

You roll your eyes at that, “Why are you being so edgy all of a sudden?”

He finally meets your tired gaze again and grins, “To piss you off, mostly.”

“Awful. Horrible. Bad.”

“You talking about yourself there, babe?”

“Ugh!” You stretch your leg out of the blanket and kick against Adam’s thigh.

He is quick to wrap his fingers around your ankle, yanking you closer towards him by it. A shocked gasp leaves your lips, eyes widening at how easily Adam managed to do that. Before you can get any words out, Adam lets go of your leg and pushes the fabric of your pants upwards. Your heart rate spikes and—

“Does this hurt?” He presses down on your skin where a purple bruise has bloomed. You shake your head and, for the time being, he just hums. When Adam speaks up, his voice is filled with relief as he lets go of your ankle. “Bad bruise then.”

You let out a shaky breath you didn't even know you were holding in, and as quickly as you can, pull your leg back under the blanket. For a moment, you simply watch Adam. It's not like there is anything else for you to do.

Adam is definitely a big man with broad shoulders and strong arms. His nose has a prominent bridge and a downturned tip, while his eyes look sharp like a spark of fire created by striking two rocks, with irises the colour of the flames dancing between you two.

But he looks tired.

His eyebags look even more prominent in the light cast by the bonfire, and every little sound or movement made his eyes follow in search for the source.

“You should sleep.” You tell him.

Adam just rolls his eyes. “No, you.”

“Will you seriously fight with me over sleeping?”

“What can I fucking say? I love a good fight.” He smiles, but the curve of his lips is so weak, it doesn't carry the same punch as his words.

Still, you won't give him the satisfaction of fighting with you. “Then, I am sleeping.”

“You should, you got a nasty bruise on your temple.” He pats the ground around him until he finds a spare water bottle and then weakly throws it your way.

You grab it from where it lands by your feet and take a sip. “I thought with a concussion you shouldn’t sleep?”

“I will wake you up every hour.” He says, and he does look serious about it.

“Yeah? You and what clock?” You raise your brow at him.

Adam points at the watch on his wrist, and you watch him in real time realise what you noticed minutes ago: the watch has stopped working. “What the fuck. And look! It is the same time that stupid plane crashed—” Now he is seriously seething, and you really don't wish to stay to see how that pans out.

You yawn, eyes fluttering shut, “I will sleep now.”

“Alright, baby, I will be here.” Adam’s voice is uncharacteristically soft as you drift off to sleep.

⋅˚₊‧ ଳ ‧₊˚ ⋅﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌₊ ⊹

Adam actually kept true to his word and woke you up at regular intervals throughout the night. If you were him, you would’ve fallen asleep after the first two times. How he manages to still function with the little sleep he got is beyond you.

You wake up to the sun shining on your face. Sand sticks to your skin practically everywhere, and when you close your mouth, you can even feel the grittiness of it on your tongue.

With a sigh, you sit up and look around. The fire has died down, leaving only the coals glowing in a warm, soft light of the morning sun.

“Good morning, sunshine.” Adam already seems chipper. You wonder where he gets the energy from after staying up the entire night.

“Hi.” You stretch your arms above your head, “How did the praying and waiting work out for you?”

“ ‘s good.” Adam yawns, and you can't help but do the same.

You dry the wetness that gathered at the corners of your eyes with your sleeve and check on the other survivors, only to notice one of them making his way towards your little camp.

His pale skin looks even paler in the sunlight and in contrast with his long, black hair. He is thin and unsure, tripping over his own feet, but catching himself before face-planting into the ground and getting a mouth full of sand. You hear Adam scoff at your side, glaring the young man down as if he is a walking threat.

“H-hey, my name is Pendleton. Uhm, we were going to have everyone assemble to make a plan—” The guy stutters through his clearly pre-planned words once he is close enough.

“Plan? What the fuck do you want to plan? Who gets cannibalised first?” Adam growls.

You side-eye the man, “Adam.”

He looks at you, like you are the unreasonable one. “What?”

You smile at Pendleton, who looks like he is close to tears. “We will follow after you.”

Pendleton nods in relief, a shaky smile ghosting his lips. He turns around and walks back to where he came from.

The fact that you have to pull on Adam’s arm for him to get up is sure something. “You are a grown-ass man. Get up!”

Still, he keeps sitting on his fat ass, “Bitch, I don’t wanna talk to these heathens.”

“Humans are social animals—” You tug one more time before dropping his arm with force. “You know what? I don’t even care, actually. I am going to join that…meeting. Stay here and sulk if you want.”

You try to follow after the young man quickly, but walking in the sand with your shoes on turns out to be quite a challenge. All you can do is carry on, even if you can already feel sand pooling in your socks.

When you hear footsteps behind you, you smile to yourself, knowing that you got Adam to get over himself and throwing a glance over your shoulder only to see just how unhappy he is while doing so makes you forget all about the sand in your shoes.

Although what you would never admit out loud is that this might have just been one of those things Adam was right about, again. To your dismay.

The assembly was a mess since nobody could really agree on anything. Some people tried to establish themselves as some sort of beloved leaders who would totally take good care of their subjects, yet when it came to making efforts to call for help or actually surviving on the island, no one dared to speak.

Of course, there were a few things everyone could agree on: there should be stones spelling out ‘SOS’ in the sand, a count should be kept on how many people there are (66 with you and Adam), and every man is for themselves.

“Are you satisfied?” Adam grunts while hitting two rocks together, but the sparks seem to refuse to catch the dry grass on fire. “Did you like the little talk?”

You just drag a hand over your face while lying on your little mat. Does Adam even have any friends? Who could be friends with a guy like that? Even worse, who would date him? Sleep with him? What a horrific thought, to have that man on top of you.

“I liked my little talk, with my little friends and my little boyfriend.”

“Yeah, that Pendel really puts the boy in boyfriend. You know, I fucking saw him try to carry a suitcase and fail.” Adam holds a rock out in front of your face and pitches his voice to imitate the fall he saw, along with the wet sound onomatopoeia, “Oh, cheerio, I needs my suitcasey. Blegh.”

“No way that is what happened.”

“That is exactly what fucking happened.”

“Lying is a sin.”

“You know, next time we look for our suitcases in a wreck, I won’t carry yours.”

“Thank God I only got one suitcase.”

Adam turns to your suitcase, “I am throwing it in the ocean.

That makes you jolt up, “Are you crazy?!”

“I am pissed the fuck off.” He seethes and hits the flint again, and this time, the dry grass finally catches on fire, burning slow and steady. “Never-fucking-mind. My spirit has risen.”

“You are pretty moody. Are you on your period?”

Adam throws a rock towards you, hitting you straight in the knee. His eyes widen momentarily, but it just bounces off, leaving no pain behind.

“Hm. And you throw like a girl. So, it is a yes to the period question?”

Now that makes him snap verbally at you, “You are acting pretty ungrateful for someone who has contributed exactly zero.”

“Aren’t men providers in your worldview?”

Adam just scoffs, “Sure. You start sucking my dick whenever I want, and I can be a real provider.”

You rub your temples in exasperation. “You can always kick me out.”

“Shut up. You are so fucking annoying.”

“Not annoying enough to get kicked out? What would get me kicked out? You got a soft spot for me?” You move your leg, teasingly nudging Adam’s outer thigh with it.

Adam grabs it by the ankle, but doesn't pull your leg away. “You wish. I will need to have easy prey when the island devolves to cannibalism.” He ends it by giving your ankle a warning squeeze.

You chuckle, “Sure, sure, sure.” Adam doesn't respond, so you glance back towards the forest, “Maybe we should explore the island?”

Adam blinks, his hand leaving your ankle to rub his stubbly chin. “We do need more firewood, if we want to keep the fire going through the night.”

“Yeah, and it is still light out, you know? Better now than later.” To be honest, you just want to look at the animals and plants, in the hope of better orientating yourself. The stars were no help, after all.

Adam puts some more sticks in the fire, before turning to his own suitcase. You watch him rummaging around.

“What? You got a machete in there?” You joke. And then he seriously pulls out a machete, leather sheath and everything. Your mouth drops open in shock. “What the fuck?! Where the hell were you flying to?!”

Adam gets up, dusting sand off of his knees. “Home? I was going to gift this to my father.”

“Where the fuck do you live?” You stand up as well, hands on your hips while you wait for Adam to lead the way.

Adam makes some vague motion with his hands while he moves towards the forest, “It is really isolated. Lots of nature, you know? My family is self-sustainable. A farm with animals and shit.”

“Oh, that is nice.” You guess? Makes sense why he carries a huge blade like that around. Maybe he is bad news. At this point, it is too late to leave; different groups have already formed, and you doubt it will be easy to get your foot in.

You are so lost in thought, you don't even register when Adam stops walking until you walk into his back.

“You should stay behind.” He says, not even turning around to look at you.

“No? I will come too.” You stomp your foot. “It was my idea!”

“Watch the fire and our stuff.” Adam rolls his eyes at your childish act.

“Nothing will happen.” You roll your eyes and then tilt your head to the side, “Or, let me guess, you aren’t good enough at keeping me safe, huh? All you said was some cheap act? I see.”

Adam glares at you and your poor attempt to outsmart him, but ends up giving up and allowing you to tag along. “If you get hurt, I want no complaints.”

You nod your head, knowing full well that you will bitch and complain about a splinter if it comes down to it. With a skip in your step, you follow after Adam.

The forest turns out to be unsurprisingly verdant, yet, perhaps, calling the lungs of this island a mere woodland would be a disservice. Instead, it resembles what someone who had a rough idea of what a jungle looks like, cultivated it. The wilderness is not man-made by any means, but grown with intent.

What catches your attention is the fact that out of the plants and flowers you recognise, each one belongs to a whole different continent. From Brazilian Rosewood trees to the Calla Lily flowers. Almost as if this corner of the world was a botanical garden and not something that occurred naturally and over a long period of time.

“Do you hear that?” Adam asks, looking around.

You turn your head in the direction Adam is looking at, straining your ears to hear what he just did. “…No?”

“Exactly. Where are the birds? I don’t even see one fucking insect.” Adam raises his machete, cutting down vines and curly branches in his—and in turn your—way. “Go collect some wood instead of standing around.”

You sigh, as if Adam just asked you to carry the sky, but don't argue. Looking around, you crouch down to collect sticks and pieces of wood lying nearest to you. But the more you look, the more you find. Almost like your wish alone to find wood causes the island to morph to your whims and supply what you need.

During your gathering, you make sure not to stray too far away from Adam. You don’t need to get lost, honestly. And just as your arms got full with firewood, and you were ready to collect the last pieces, you spot something on the ground. It's a lump, hiding behind a bush. You can smell sulfur in the air, and it makes you a bit nervous.

Curiosity gets the best of you, and you take measured steps towards it. The lump on the ground turns out to be a pile of clothing. Is someone around? Shit, what if someone is around? The clothes look masculine. “Adam!” You yell out and only think later about the possible repercussions of getting attacked by the owner of these clothes.

To his credit, Adam is fast. He gets to your side immediately, giving you a quick glance over before he looks around, “What? What happened?”

You straighten out your back, “Look,” and point with the tip of your foot, “There are clothes here.”

Adam raises his eyebrow before he opens his loud mouth, “Hello! Is anyone near? We got your shit!” He yells while looking around.

Bending down, you can’t help yourself and pick up a loose shirt at the very top of the suspicious pile when suddenly, recognition hits you, “Oh my God, those are Pendleton’s clothes.”

“Shit, you are right. Maybe he took a swim? I saw some hot springs near here.” Adam scratches his head in confusion.

“I have a bad feeling about this, Adam.” You look up at him. “Let’s get out of here.”

“Of course, sweetheart.” He presses his hand against your lower back. “I will take the wood, yeah?”

You gather the rest of the things from the ground and carefully give everything to Adam, including the firewood, before you move to walk back to the beach. Nothing got taken from your camp thankfully, but as the sun moves through the sky, changing its colour in the process, you still don’t see Pendleton anywhere.

“We should ask the others if they have seen him.” You tell Adam while folding the clothes neatly in your lap.

Adam groans, but doesn't get up from his seat by the fire. He had collected some edible roots on your way back and now is spearing them on a stick. “Do we have to?”

“Yes. What if something happened?” You furrow your eyebrows and frown. “Adam, please.”

“Didn’t know you had manners.” He puts the final stick into the sand, near the fire. “If my food burns, I will be mad.”

You smile at Adam as you get up, and with his grumpy self hot on your heels, walk towards the rest of the survivors. The little groups had assembled themselves into little circles, keeping a good distance between each other. You wave your hand as you walk towards them.

“Everyone! May I have your attention, please? Can everyone come closer?” Some people look at you confused, others snicker, but in the end they come closer to hear what you have to say. It probably helped to have Adam around, who is more like a guard dog than a man.

You hold out the clothes in front of you, clear to see for everyone. “I found Pendleton’s clothes in the forest. Has anyone seen him? Who was grouped up with him again?”

A small guy steps forward, a pair of thick glasses sitting on the bridge of his nose with one of the lenses cracked near the top. “He is with me. Pendleton left early in the morning, and I haven’t seen him since.”

“So he is missing?” You make sure.

“Presumably.” Now you recall the man's name—Baxter. Unusual name, but you remember Adam bitching to himself about the little guy using big words on your way back from the meeting.

“Should we go looking for him?” You ask the dreaded question, and suddenly everyone breaks out in wild chatter. Yes, no, maybe, what is in that for me, are you stupid?

You can hear a sharp clap reverberate through the open space, causing heads to turn to another man. He looks familiar, but you can't put your finger on why exactly. You guess he does have striking features: pale complexion and blond hair brushed back away from his face, contrasting nicely against deep, brow eyes. The colour of his irises is so rich, you swear that when a stray ray of sun hits them, they shine burgundy. “We should go looking for him! He was a friend after all.”

Someone in the crowd scoffs—a girl so pretty, she looks almost doll-like, “Speak for your fucking self!”

The blond man only shrugs at that with a small smile.

You don’t think you know his name, but it feels like it's just on the tip of your tongue. Was he a steward? Maybe the Co-Pilot? Or perhaps he sat close to you on the plane?

He meets your gaze in the crowd and smiles, his teeth sharp. “I am speaking for myself. It is getting dark, and I will look for him in the morning. Maybe he will turn up again by then.”

Not a single one of the survivors stands close to him. Isn't he a part of one of the groups? He holds a sizeable bundle in his arms, which means he is moving around. Weird.

You turn to Adam, uneasiness pooling in your stomach, only to see him frown and glare the smaller man down. “Who the fuck are you?”

“Oh? Did you forget my name from the introduction? That is totally fine! I am Samael! You are Adam, right?” He tilts his head, looking more like a porcelain doll than a human.

“Don’t say my name.” Adam spits out. “Something is really wrong with you, freak. I have no memory of you.”

Samael does give off weird vibes, but to be fair, Adam's memory has been failing him lately. He doesn't remember the crash either.

Don’t say that! He was there on the plane! I saw him! He sat with me! He was giving out water bottles, don’t you remember? Voices overlapped, causing Adam to let out a low growl and rub at his temples.

“That is fine.” Samael shrugs, and then he turns to look at you. “Will you go to search for Pendleton with me tomorrow?”

“Uhm,” You feel put on the spot. “Maybe.”

Honestly, you will probably go by yourself, and by yourself you mean with Adam and his machete.

“How nice.” His tongue is thin as it peeks out of his lips to give them a quick lick. Almost like a snake plotting on its prey. You could swear the tip of it is forked, but the heat of the sun must be getting to your head.

With a sigh, you nod. “Guys, please look out for Pendleton.” And with that, you say your goodbyes for the night. Adam’s arm drapes over your slumped shoulders as you walk back to your little camp.

You are so lost in thought that when Adam's voice snaps at someone behind you, you nearly jump out of your skin. “Stop fucking following us!”

You didn’t even notice Samael behind you. “Don’t be mean, Adam. I just want to relocate my camp. I was too close to the water, you know.”

Adam throws a couple more insults at his newfound enemy under his breath, but that's about it. You cling to the heap of clothes pressed against your chest, hoping that Pendleton is doing okay and for him to survive the night, no matter where he is.

You sighed in relief. “Don’t worry! I will pick you up and everything. You can be the passenger princess.”

Adam groaned, “Don’t call me that.”

“Okay, pretty princess.” You snickered into the phone.

“Shut up. I will spank you.” He threatened you.

“Ooh, promise?” You couldn’t help but tease.

Adam chuckled. “Maybe. So you will pick me up today? I will send you my address.”

“I will. My car isn’t fancy though, so don’t judge, please.” You finally put your noddles and pesto on a plate, ready to eat. “We need to get snacks and maybe something to drink? I will pack my blankets.”

“Yes, of course, we can hit the store before watching the movie.” Adam sounded very enthusiastic. “My treat, obviously.”

You chuckled at that. “Sounds good.” You threw a glance at your laptop sitting on your desk, and people started to join the online class. “Adam, I gotta go. My class is starting. Text me the address, yeah? Bye!”

With that you hung up the phone and joined your class with the camera off, so you could peacefully shove pasta into your mouth.

• . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁꒰ঌ·✦·໒꒱ ݁ . ⊹ ₊ ݁. •

This is a scarily fancy neighbourhood. It felt illegal just to exist here. Your neighbourhood was filled with students on a budget like you. All you could do was crank you neck to look up at the apartment building, you wondered how many stories it had. A knock on the window startled you. Thankfully, it was just Adam. You quickly unlocked the doors, and he got in.

“Hello, sweetheart.” Adam greeted you, as he sat the seat back so his long, thick legs would fit.

“Hi! You know any stores near here? You know, for some snacks.” You put your car in drive, ready to start your journey.

“Yeah, baby, I got ya. I will tell you where to go.” Adam smiled as he buckled himself in.

The drive was uneventful, and you were just glad to be in the store. “Well, we need popcorn. Or else it is just not a true cinema experience.” You said, while grabbing a basket.

Adam grinned. “Get whatever you want, baby.” He walked around the candy isle, and picket up two gummy packages. As he tried to decide between the two, he just shrugged his shoulders and threw both in the basket.

“Anything you don’t like?” Adam asked, while his fingers danced over your back.

“Hm, liquorice.” You try to think of more things you don’t like eating, but draw a blank.

Adam stepped closer to you and rested his on your shoulder, while his arms wrapped around your waist. “What do you want to drink?” His breath brushed against your ear, and you felt your face burn.

“…Soda.” You squeaked out.

He chuckled, and let go off you. Where Adam’s arms were it felt weirdly cold now. You do miss his touch. Turning around, you grabbed Adam’s hand. “Let’s grab some chips and the popcorn. Then the soda and we leave. I don’t wanna be late.”

Adam squeezed your hand, “Let’s get going, babe.” With that you and Adam finished off the small shopping trip.

You carefully parked the car, and killed the engine. “Thank fuck. Who would’ve thought that there would be such a crazy line? How slow can you check tickets?”

Adam nodded in agreement. “Pretty sure the guy was stoned as fucked.”

Sighing, you turned around and rummaged around the car for your snacks and blankets. You handed Adam the full plastic bag, and finally won the fight against the fabric and pulled it out.

“Oh, shit, this is really soft.” Adam’s hands glide over the blanket draped over his lap.

“I put in extra fabric softener for today!” You smiled. Reaching out, you searched through the shopping bag for the popcorn. You successfully pulled out the package and were quick to open it.

Adam had the bottles stashed by his feet, and he got his energy drink out. He opened the can and started drinking. “Babe, you like horror movies?”

“Hm, yes, but I do get scared easily. Guess you will have to hold my hand, how tragic.” You sighed dramatically.

“Fuck, I will have to hold my dates hand? Nah. That is so not cool, dude.” Adam shook his head in despair, but quickly broke character, a smile lighting up his handsome face.

“Shut up.” You laughed, and then held your hand out to Adam. He was quick to hold it, intervening your fingers.

Out of the corner of your eye you saw a light flash. With an excited gasp you turned around, “The movie is starting!” You quickly turned off any light left on in the car.

“You excited?” Adam asked, as his free hand reached out to get some popcorn from your lap.

“Very, actually. I never got to see the movie, it has been on my list for so long.” Your eyes were focused on the big screen.

As the movie unfolded and you gasped and yelped at every jump scare, Adam kept calm. Matter of fact, most scenes which you found scary made him laugh. “Ha! Idiot, should’ve ran faster.”

“Oh my god, you are so mean to the final girl.” You couldn’t help but snicker. The next moment the monster jumped out from the screen, and you hit your knees against the steering wheel.

Now Adam was laughing at you. “Baby, calm down. No monster can touch you while I am here.”

“I am calm— hold me!” You were quick to wrap your hand around Adam’s big arm.

“Gladly.” Adam practically purred out. His hand covered your own easily.

The movie reached a calm part and you were able to breath. You took sips of your drink. As you set your bottle down, your eyes flickered to Adam. He was already looking at you. His golden eyes burned into you.

You felt weirdly aware of everything. The blanket draped over your lap, the warm air in the car, the breeze coming in form the open windows, your hand on Adam’s arm and his hand on yours.

Carefully, you sucked in a breath, afraid that any movement will destroy this moment. Slowly, you leaned your face towards Adam. You saw him blink, his long lashes brushing against his olive skin.

You felt his breath against your own face, you were so close. So close to brushing your lips against his, to kiss him. Your eyes were closed and felt some lump pressed against your lips.

In confusion you opened your eyes, and saw the candy pressed against your mouth. All you could do was quickly bite down on the soft gummy and chew on it.

“You like it?” Adam asked.

“It’s good.” Is all you answer, swallowing the candy down. You felt sick.

Adam made sure to keep his lap covered, the snacks practically stacked on top of him.

You barley could look at him. Your body burned from pure shame. Just what is so wrong with you? You could barley register the rest of the movie. Your hands felt shaky, and you kept them mostly to yourself.

Not even a kiss. A slimy guy like Adam won’t even kiss you. At this point you really had to self reflect on what it is about you that repels dates. Your outfit? Jude said it had enough tit to still be classy, but now you were doubting her. Maybe it is your whole soul? Just a bad vibe you give out, that screams celibacy. Maybe you are just meant to be a nun?

The movie was over. You were happy this horrible humiliation ritual was finally over. So, clearly this is a failed date. At least this time, it was the third date that failed and not the first.

As you drove Adam home, he kept trying to keep the conversation going. You could barley answer him, just nodding and humming when it was appropriate. As you pulled up in front of his building, you just felt tired.

“So, like, when will I see you again?” Adam asked, pure hope in his voice.

You were wondering if he was fucking with you. Is this some prolonged prank? Does he secretly hate you? Will you come to your classes and everyone will point and laugh at you for being so undesirable?

All you did was blink at him. “I don’t know. I need to get going.”

“Ah, I will text you then?” Adam asked. You just nodded in agreement, ready to bolt. Adam bid you goodbye, and you drove home as quick as you could.

• . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁꒰ঌ·✦·໒꒱ ݁ . ⊹ ₊ ݁. •

You have been successfully ignoring Adam’s texts and any attempt at contacting you. It was easy over the weekend, but now with your classes coming up, you don’t think you could ignore him in public.

This was simply a problem for future you. Currently you needed to get to library to get some assignments done. As always, every seat was taken. It took you a bit of walking down to reach a longer table, meant for 4 people. A person sat at the end of it, and you decided to leave a seat free between you two as you sat down.

As you carefully got your laptop out, you threw a glance at the person. Holy shit, it is the butch you went on a date with. Now you feel nervous. Of course, you just had to meet her again. Well, meet is a big word, you simply will ignore her.

With sweaty hands you rummaged through your bag, looking for the charger. You quietly swore under your breath, you just had to forget it back at home. You could use up the last of your battery, but you also have classes. Maybe you will just call it a day, see this as a sign form the universe and go home and lie down for the rest of the day.

A hand came up in your vision, with a fitting charger in hand. “Here, you can use mine.” Came her soft voice.

“Oh! Thanks.” You whispered back, totally embarrassed.

She nodded her head. As you plugged in the charger and your laptop, you saw her glancing at you. You decided to not react to that, but she kept talking to you. “How are things?”

You bounced your leg up and down, “Uhm, good? I guess. How about you?” Politeness forced you to continue talking with her.

“I am fine. I heard you are going out with Adam?” She leaned her elbow on the table, peering at you with curiosity.

You seriously should’ve just stayed home. “Not anymore.” It feels like a confession, like not even Adam liked to stay with you.

“What? Really? How did he fuck it up?” She chuckled.

Shrugging your shoulders was easier than to say it was probably you. You are the fuck up. You pressed your tongue against your teeth, and pulled up the courage to talk to her. “Can I ask you something?”

“Sure. What’s up?”

“…Why, why didn’t you like our first date? Was it something I said or—”

Her eyes widened in shock. “No! I loved our first date, I swear. You were very cute and funny.”

“Then, why? I mean you looked at your phone and the whole energy shifted.” You frowned.

She shook her head. “I shouldn’t tell you.” Her eyes were focused on her own screen.

“Ugh! Please? I am getting so frustrated, my dates work out basically never. I just want to know what I need to fix.” Your fingers impatiently drummed down on the table.

She sighed, “I can’t speak for your other dates, but for me.” She made a vague movement with her hands. “Adam might or might not have threatened me that I will get kicked off of the team if I keep dating you.”

Your mouth dropped open in shock. “No. No way.”

“I swear to God.” Her hand landed on her heart.

“You are lying.” Because that was just crazy.

She pulled out her phone, and scrolled up. The chat was between her and Adam. Most of it was basic, training plans and party dates. Nothing personal. Until the damning message: if you know whats good for your spot on the team, you will drop that date.

Your finger clicked on his picture, and sure enough, that was Adam’s fucking phone number. It was a real chat, with his real number, a real message he sent.

“What is wrong with him?” You looked at her for help.

“He is weird like that.” She just sighed and put her phone back.

You felt simply overwhelmed. So, you practically yanked the charger out off the plug and gave it back to the girl. You packed your stuff, and drove home. All you need is a nap.

If you could, you would skip class for the rest of the year. Sadly, this professor was really serious about his attendance. You needed to keep your days in case you really get sick.

So, you get there as late as possible and sit in the back. You saw the back of Adam’s head, but it didn’t seem like he noticed you. He kept looking around, and every time a student entered he looked up, but it wasn’t you, so he seemed to visibly deflate.

Once the class was finally over, you were quick to bolt. Sadly for you, Adam is like a blood hound. He immediately recognised your figure and he was hot on your trail.

“Why are you ghosting me?” Came his question, as his long legs easily caught up to you.

“I am not!” You lied through your teeth. All you had to do was get to the parking lot as fast as you could. You were already outside, the sun shining down on you.

“Why are you ghosting and lying to me?” His voice was filled with anger, it practically made the air shake.

Finally, you stood by your car. Your hand was in your bag, looking for your keys. “Leave me alone.”

Adam’s hand wrapped around your shoulder and he forced you to turn around. You looked into his face. “I fucking won’t. What got your stupid panties in a twist?”

The anger, and in a way fear, you felt was paralysing. “I just want to be left alone.” You hissed out.

“I don’t buy that shit.” Adam frowned. “Come on, baby, you can’t tell me you didn’t have fun.”

You pressed your lips together. “Why won’t you kiss me?” That was safer than asking him about apparently ruining your dating life.

Adam didn’t expect that question. “Because…” He scratched his neck.

You rolled your eyes, “Alright.” You finally found your keys and pressed the button to unlock your car.

Adam’s eyes flew open at the sound, “Stop! Fuck. Alright, I wanted to take things slow since you are…you know.” His eyes shifted away from your face, as if he didn’t want to embarrass you.

You squinted your eyes at him. “I am what?”

“You are a virgin, and no shame, I fuck with that, but I wanted to take things slow—” Adam kept rambling.

“What is your issue? Why are you trying to make decision for me? I can consent to whatever the fuck I want. Do not infantilise me!” You pushed your hand against Adam’s chest, forcing him to step back.

“Well, fuck me for being considerate!” Adam scoffed.

“You are the opposite of considerate! Who do you think you are, messing with my dates?!” You blurted out.

Adam’s eyes narrowed. “Who fucking told you?”

“Oh, so it happened multiple times. Thanks for the conformation!” Your hand grasped your car door handle, ready to open it.

“Don’t be so damn dramatic, they were all losers! Me? I am the real fucking deal, baby.” Adam seemed borderline hysterical.

“Stay away from me, Adam. You clearly don’t respect me. Get your Madonna Whore complex in order, before you try dating again.” You opened your door, and Adam way quick to shut it again.

He leaned into you, his hand pressed against your car door and you felt his body heat against your own. “What do you want me to do? I can totally say sorry, but like, we could also go kiss if you want it so badly.”

“Step away from me.” You pressed yourself closer to the car. The fact that a kiss did sound nice mad you feel dizzy and like you didn’t have a backbone. “I will scream.”

“No, you won’t—”

“FIRE!” Is what you yell out. You could see heads turn and Adam’s eyes widen in shock.

“You are a whore anyways!” He threw his hands up, and finally left you.