🥟

when you refuse to or are unable to articulate your own boundaries or communicate when you're upset, you basically outsource that work onto the people around you. the people around you now have two options: to walk on eggshells during their interactions with you in case they accidentally break a boundary they don't know is there and be extra attentive of your reactions so they can try and figure out what not to say or do. or to interact with you like normal and knowingly run the risk of upsetting you and having no way of knowing for sure or resolving the issue. both of these options suck

there is a third option, of course: people can stop talking to you. they can break up with you. they can seek companionship from other people who won't make interaction an exhausting guessing game they can never win. if you don't want that to happen, "no" and "can we do something else instead" and "i don't like when you call me that" and similar phrases need to become well-used members of your vernacular