Pardon their ignorance

Godspeed sandwich man 🫡

Big day at U.S. District Court in D.C. where Sean Dunn Brett Afloweroutofstone, the D.C. Sandwich Guy, is on trial for misdemeanor assault of a federal officer. Border Patrol agent Gregory Lairmore is on the stand narrating surveillance video of the sammie toss. 'Now he’s struck me with the sandwich,' Lairmore says. Border Patrol agent Lairmore testifies that he was not injured by the sandwich, but he felt the impact through his ballistic vest. The sandwich came apart and "kind of exploded" on his chest upon impact, he says. "I could smell the onions and mustard." Defense tells judge they want to question Lairmore about 'gag gifts' he received from fellow officers after the alleged assault, including a Subway sandwich plush toy and a patch that (unless I misheard) said 'Felony Footlong.' Prosecutors object. Defense argues they reflect CBP 'state of mind.' Defense is now questioning Lairmore on cross-examination. They show a video still of the sandwich and wrapper on the ground, post-throw. "Do you recognize that sandwich?" the attorney asks. Lairmore won't confirm. "I did not go back to collect it," he says. The defense team presses Lairmore on whether the sandwich really 'exploded.' They return to the photo of the sandwich and wrapper on the ground. "That sandwich hasn't exploded at all, has it?" defense asks. "It looks like a little bit is coming out towards the bottom," Lairmore replies. Lairmore testifies that other agents gave him a plush sandwich toy, which he placed on the shelf in his office, and a patch that said "Felony Footlong," which he put on his lunch box. Lairmore has chuckled with the rest of us at times. Defense really trying to underscore the unseriousness of it all

Good news! They freed sandwich man!

aweng chuol