be calm

tw: anxiety, @codstarters​

The middle Caine brother!! here to learn how to live & be his own person!!

🤪 : a goofy voicemail

Arden   the X Files my list when Arden agrees to do things on the list when neither Sutton or I are working, and we hang out with her Iguana and watch our shows.

Sutton: and it's a WONDERFUL jungle

Sutton: RIGHT?? And they'll probably have so much trouble getting adopted at their age!

Sutton: I think we can

Sutton: I have not. I haven't decided if I will yet...

Logan: you're right, who am I kidding? I love our jungle

Logan: :-( they will? what happens if they don't get adopted? don't do this to me Sutton

Logan: Maybe we should do it?

Sutton: I would actually argue it's a jungle because of all the plants

Sutton: BUT their names are PEARL and OYSTER. Pearl is 14 and white, Oyster is 15 and grey and they ARE PERFECT

Sutton: I never said I wasn't said, I said I wasn't suggesting it to fill the void of the feeling of abandonment from my birth family lol

Logan: a jungle with aliens and monsters!!! (because of my monster stuff, in case you didn't understand the reference)

Logan: Oh no Sutton they SOUND PERFECT. PEARL AND OYSTER. LEVEL 14 AND 15. AWWW.

Logan: Can we handle this responsibility though? I only just learnt how to use the dishwasher

Sutton: there is a bonded pair of old cats at the shelter we should get them

Sutton: Before you say anything I'm not going this because I'm sad, I promise

Logan: :OOOOOO

Logan: Sutton, I love you, but our home is already a zoo... what are their names though? Are they nice? :-D

“You take it everywhere, don’t you?” she asked, smiling. Arden loved to hear about his list, and, in all honesty, she’d listen to Logan talk about anything for hours if that’s what he wanted. “I spent the entire morning trying to find an excuse to see you again. Gatorade and snacks seemed like the easiest thing. I think that’s when I realized I really liked you.” She remembered how her heart nearly beat out of her chest when he had opened the door and how having so many feelings was scaring her. His hand squeezed her knee. “Oh, yeah?” she said, taking a sip from her drink. “Well, good news for you is that I’m a doctor.” Her eyes met his and she placed her hand over the one resting on her knee. “I know tomorrow is officially Valentine’s Day, and, if you want, we can stay in bed and watch movies or keep binging the X-Files,” she suggesting, knowing it was his favorite show. “I’ll even make breakfast, too. I have a killer recipe for french toast.”

...

“I do, I think I’m rather attached to it now,” Logan nodded, cheeks flushed, pulling out his wallet from his back pocket. From inside the wallet, he tugged out a folded piece of paper, covered in numbers and items all over, the list that started it all, “I’ve done more from this than I ever thought I would. Feel like I should’ve put, ‘meet a really cute girl and somehow get her to date me’ on the list too.” He joked, nudging her a little. “I genuinely thought you were just being nice, but then, well, you stayed. And fell asleep on me. It was confusing.” With all the people around them, Logan only had eyes for her, this girl with her kind heart and pretty face. At her words, his grinned widened, “like Scully. My medical doctor,” pressing a kiss to her cheek, all Logan wanted was to take her home, so they could be alone properly, “I’d love that. You make French toast, I’ll get us some coffee… though I’m not sure staying in bed all day will as as fun as it is when we’re faking sick.”

Thomas glanced over his shoulder, not realising anyone had been listening in to his little vocal presentation, and his face grew red. “Alright I’ll take the high notes,” he said quickly, feeling more than a little embarrassed. His embarrassment faded though as Logan demonstrated his low range, and he grinned. “That was good, dude,” he said enthusiastically, giving his friend a pat on the shoulder. He listened with intense concentration as Logan outlined some basic moves for the choreography, and he nodded along, impressed with his ideas. Clearly neither of them knew a thing about dancing. “That sounds awesome,” he replied, mouth hanging open in a mixture of awe and excitement. “I guess for the rest, we can just improvise. I mean, it can’t be that bad, right?” he said, giving a small shrug. He liked to think he was a half decent dancer, but deep down he knew he just looked like a baby giraffe taking its first steps, but a hell of a lot less graceful than even that. 

The people that were on stage finished up, and he took a deep breath. “Alright. Let’s do this thing,” he said with determination, placing a hand on Logan’s shoulder and steering him towards and on to the stage. He quickly whispered to the guy running the karaoke what song they were doing, and then, it was go time.

Thomas and Logan were the dream team, and it wasn’t just because their voices complemented each other. They were two kinda weird, kinda geeky guys onboard for trying new stuff, and it worked. Logan grinned as his friend complimented his singing and dancing, proud receive praise from such a talented musician. “Oh, for sure, improvisation all the way… maybe some mime? Physical comedy?" As the people before them finished with a bow, the nerves rose up inside Logan. There was that voice in his head, who usually sounded like the old-Logan, telling him to run away, but he refused to listen. “Lets do this,” he breathed out, letting Thomas guide him toward the stage, nerves building up as they stepped on. Grabbing both microphones, Logan handed one to Thomas, and gripped the other tightly in his hands. The familiar beat of the song started ringing in, and Logan nodded at his friend with a nervous smile. He started singing, miming along with the words as he did so, putting all his nervous enthusiasm into the song.

“Yeah! We’re pretty excited. I’m just happy to be doing something as a family with her. She’ll have a pet at dad’s house,” Sam went on, a truly genuine happy smile put on. “Ah, right. We’ll do whatever Sutton advises. Can’t give her more reasons to dislike me,” he teased, though after their earlier encounter he had a feeling she would ease up on him. Or so he hoped. Listening to Logan, Sam just nodded, followed by an offended look. “Me? Tell them? Why would I do that?” he questioned, though it was definitely something he would do. “Okay so maybe things have slipped in the past, but I’m not really speaking to them more than what’s necessary so don’t worry,” he added on, making sure he was put at ease. “That’s amazing. You deserve it,” he responded to the news, patting his brother’s shoulder.

...

“I’m really happy for you Sammy,” surprisingly, he meant it. Logan was tired of being mad at his brother, for holding onto a grudge of 27 years’ worth of pain. It was stupid. “Yeah, sorry about that… she’s just a really good listener, I didn’t mean to make her hate you.” Multiple times his housemate had come home and listened to him rant about his big brother, it was bound to rub off on her. She was a good friend. “You’re not speaking to them either?” Logan asked in surprise, Sam had been the more likely of the two to listen to their parents lately. Logan was still fuelled by resentment toward them, “thanks Sam… you should meet her some time. You’d like her... just, try not to like her too much.” A pause as Logan looked at his hands, failing to fight what he’d been holding onto for months. “Look, I’m sorry shoving you in the Christmas tree maze.”

Thomas hadn’t really thought about the fact that he hadn’t done half of the things Logan had on his list either. Maybe he was right, and everyone else was doing the same as he had been. Hiding from the world, or sticking to the norm to save face. Or maybe he too had just had too much to drink and was looking for a deeper meaning. He laughed at Logan’s enthusiasm, and he nodded along, glancing at the two girls currently on the stage and singing some obscure hip hop song that he didn’t know. “We’ll blow these two out of the water,” he said with confidence, grinning lazily at his friend. “But first, we gotta figure out our harmonies. Who’s going high, and who’s going low?” He took it upon himself to then demonstrate his range to Logan, first with a low note, then going as high as he possibly could. He saw the person stood next to them giving him a look of pure disappointment, which just sent him into hysterics. Once he’d managed to recover, his expression turned serious again. “Choreography. We haven’t even had a chance to think about choreography,” he said quickly, throwing his hands up in exasperation.

...

Logan listened intently to his friend’s singing, taking the role of designating who would sing what extremely seriously. Both Thomas’ high and low notes sounded better than anything Logan could pull off, but the way he hit the high one left Logan staring at his friend in awe. “By the looks on those girls faces, you should take the high,” Logan grinned, shooting the girls a smug look before clapping his hands together, “I’ve got your back with the looow,” he dropped his voice as deep as he could, not sounding too bad. On singing and team work alone, they might do amazingly but choreo… that could be their downfall. “Alright, alright, alright, maybe I go left you go right?” He shifted his upper body to the left, “and then switch,” he shifted to the right, “and maybe a telephone,” he held his hand up to his ear, miming being on the phone, “for the ‘call me maybe’ part?”

Arden had never been in love, but she had a feeling it felt something like this. She’d never felt like this before. Something as simple as a kiss to her cheek had her heart practically beating out of her chest. “Okay, we got to write that down to kep better track of that,” she laughed. “Halloween is still the best.” Arden still thought about Halloween all the time. It was when she truly realized what Logan meant to her, and that she wanted him around for as long as possible. He pushed a strand of hair away from her face. “You don’t give yourself enough credit, you know,” she said, after taking a sip. “Think we can get a few to go when we go home?” Arden leaned her head against his shoulder. “This is the first Valentine’s Day I’ve spent with someone, and I’m so glad it’s with you.”

...

“I’ve gotten so used to carrying the list around that I can probably carry another, too,” the crumpled piece of paper had become somewhat of a talisman for him. It represented hope and possibility, and a bunch of other cheesy things that if you got him drunk enough, he could ramble on about. “Halloween will always be the best,” he agreed, knowing they were both thinking of the same night, “I remember the next morning, waking up and you being outside my door, I thought I was dreaming.” It was odd how sometimes you meet someone and you don’t realise how special they’ll be to you. His hand found her knee, squeezing it and resting there contently as he watched the other couples around them, “I couldn’t possibly know what you mean,” he joked, knowing just how low his self esteem could get, “I think I still think it’s a dream. Like one day I’ll wake up and there’ll be doctors around me telling me I’ve been sleeping since that day we crashed into each other,” a pause, he met her eyes, “but dream or not, I’m really glad I’m here with you too.”

Sutton, one hundred and ten percent. She’s the foundation of our household... honestly I can barely keep the plants alive as is.

Thomas cackled at the expression on Logan’s face as the girl partaking in karaoke went an octave higher. It was a look of pure agony, and it took him a minute to regain his composure and bring his laughter under control. He knew his friend would be up for singing a Carly Rae Jepsen song, and he grinned widely at his reaction. He looked like a kid on Christmas morning, and Thomas clinked their glasses together. “Carly it is.” He gave his friend a pat on the back as he thanked him for accompanying him on all of these little adventures for his bucket list. “Hey, you know me, I’m always up for doing fun stuff. Plus, half of these things I’ve never done either so it’s a win win,” he said with a warm smile. “Who cares if it goes on social media,” Thomas said with a shake of his head. “If it goes viral then we’ll be rich. Maybe I’ll even get a record deal out of this,” he said as he downed the rest of his drink. He was a little anxious about this himself but he wasn’t going to show Logan that, so he got another drink to settle his nerves. 

..

With a few drinks under his belt, and the promise to sing a song by an icon, Logan was almost ready to make a fool of himself on stage. Thomas knew exactly what he needed to shake the pre-list nerves and get pumped. “Carly it is,” he beamed at his friend, joining him in clinking his glass, “it’s interesting, so many people who join me on the list haven’t done half the stuff on there either,” Lo mused, pausing to take a sip of his drink, “here I thought I was the one hiding away from the world, but maybe everyone is too? That, or I’m at enough cocktails to make me think everything has a bigger meaning than it actually does.” He shot his friend a happy grin, clapping him on the shoulder, “right you are! We need to kill it up there, the music gods could be watching... or future employers, but I’m trying not to think about that.” Following Thomas’ lead, Logan downed his drink, ordered another, and gave his friend a nod, “what do you say? After these we go up? Carly’s waiting for us.”

Thomas’ hands down. He’s done so many of the items on the list with me, I’d have to thank him somehow... though Arden’s best friends keep hinting I join them in theirs, and I’m a little bit too afraid to say no.

Arden couldn’t remember the last time she even had a boyfriend, and she never expected to find herself so incredibly happy having someone by her side. Logan kissed her cheek, causing her to blush. She had a stupid grin on her face, as she turned to face him. “Oh, you’re the best. Remind me to never go back to that last place. We should start a ranked list of who has the best in town.” She turned from her martini back to him. Her hand resting on his thigh, and her cheeks still stained red as he complimented her. Leaning in, Arden kissed him. “What did I do to deserve you?” she wondered. “Thank you. I promise it’s not too much.” Holding up her glass, she clinked it against his before taking a sip. Her eyes widened in surprise. “I think we might have a new number 1.”

The red band around his wrist was worn with pride as Logan stood by his girlfriend, tipsy on cocktails and love... not that he’d ever say that last one out loud. Even her smile had him giddy. “Oh, I’ve been working on one, up here,” he tapped the side of his head, “last place was, well, last. That first place, on Halloween, they were excellent...” he trailed off, remembering the start of their something, how nervous he’d been, how nervous he still was. The biggest between now and then was he could kiss her freely without fear of rejection. So, he did. Pulling away from the kiss, Logan smiled at his girlfriend, using his free fingers to brush away her hair, “I ask myself that every day. Surely you must have made some God somewhere mad, to end up stuck with me.” He clinked his glass against hers, sipping the cocktail before giving her a wide smile, “it’s brilliant. Even better than Halloween’s.”