x

I leaned forward and hugged him so tightly. Tears were streaming down my face. I rested my head lightly on his wounded chest. His expressionless face remained callous.  ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ So yeah that was my dream last night about meeting up with that one again. It really has been almost a year and we really did start talking again. And I was under the impression that I was emotionally over him and just read for some good sex but honestly now I’m fucked up. Clearly there are emotions even though I haven’t seen this guy or talked to him really in like 8 months. We had plans to meet up soon and I think I’m still going to go through with it though.  I’m sure trying to contemplate what this dream means (if dreams even mean anything). At first it seems like this is what I’ve done to him in my mind - effectively killed him. Maybe it could mean that the boy is wounded in some way (probably not physically) and and I need to go help him. I like to think that I’m a healer of some sort. It could also be some sort of warning to me to NOT go hook up with him because clearly I still have emotions about it deep in my subconscious.  Idk. I’m just going to feel it out. But honestly this dream had me pretty fucked up today and I couldn’t stop thinking about it. I don’t dream this vividly often so I kind of think that it has some sort of meaning. The last vivid dream I had was driving on the highway and having to navigate around a bunch of dead bodies. The next day I had to take a detour home because there was a fatal accident on the highway and they had to shut most of the lanes down.... so that’s pretty bizarre.