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Sometimes I think about all the traumatic situations Harry endured and how they could influence him, and one of those is definitely driving into the sea in a motor carriage.
Like, yeah, the way Idiot Doom Spiral tells the story it sounds like another case of Harry's drunk shenanigans, but genuinely, diving in a car into ice cold water is insanely scary. The way the cold just... Crashes your whole being for a few moments. You lungs, your muscles, your brain, your nervous system. Everything goes in the overload, shortcircuits, before you're able to function again.
Idk maybe it's just me man, but following this branch of Harry's story definitely wasn't easy. Hence the following lil piece I wrote thinking about it.
THE BATHTUB OF DOOM - Water fills this freshly cleaned of bottles and cans bathtub and you look inside it with a slight terror. There is something ominous about water slowly rising inside it.
HALF LIGHT [medium:success] - Are you mad? Are you seriously going to get inside this slippery metal trap filled with murderous substance that literally can kill you if you slip, hit your head and fall into it? You NEVER taking ANY baths ever again! Stop this madness!
VOLUTION [easy:succes] - There is literally nothing to be scared of if you move slowly and carefully. There is not enough water to drown a cat.
HALF LIGHT - YET. You know what can happen if we get inside those scary waters.
YOU - Do I?
HALF LIGHT - There is a cruel darkness around you. It reeks of salt and motor oil, and it's so cold that it burns and clashes your lungs, holding them in a tight grip. Probably it's for the best, or else you would definitely breath inside some of this icy, thick danger.
YOU - Tremble goes through your whole body. You look at the water with a new terror.
CONCEPTUALIZATION [formidable:success] - This water is like an ultimate inverce of that imaginary liquid you just revisited. It's clean and full of light, and there is warmness radiating off it. Submitting to it may clean your soul of that grim phantasm of your memory.
YOU - Really?
CONCEPTUALIZATION - Yes.
1.(Volition:challenging) Give it a try.
>2.But that was one hell of a shitty memory.
YOU - You're still not sure. Something inside you goes insane at the mere thought of entering the waters.
ENCYCLOPEDIA [medium:success] - Hydrophobia, or the fear of water, is a classic and severe symptom of rabies, caused by the virus attacking the nervous system, leading to painful, involuntary throat spasms when trying to swallow liquids, even just the sight or thought of water. This makes drinking water excruciating and causes the infected person to avoid it.
YOU - DO I HAVE RABIES?!
LOGIC [trivial:success] - Of course not. Why did you even take this check? Not you, Harry. That bookheaded one. There is literally nothing in this situation of your competence.
ENCYCLOPEDIA - My bad.
THE BATHTUB OF DOOM - Well, this whole exchange certainly didn't help you process your sudden fear of water. Meanwhile, there is even more of it now.
THE BATHTUB OF DOOM - You take a look at the bathtub and experimentally touch the water. It is indeed feels just right. You can imagine how incredibly good it will feel to submerge inside, let this incredible warmth inwrap your whole body, exhausted after this long, insane day. Or days.
ESPIRIT DE CORPS [easy:success] - Or years.
>1.(Electrochemistry:easy) Go for it. You really want that bath.
+you know it will feel good
-still scared
2.(Half Light:challenging) You really don't want that bath. For reasons.
+you still can feel the icy darkness creeping up to your mouth and nose, trying to force it's way inside you
-you know it will feel good
ELECTROCHEMISTRY [easy:failure] - WHAT?!
YOU - WHAT?!
INLAND EMPIRE - You want this bath so bad that you want to cry. You still have your hand inside its welcoming, friendly warmth. But this instinctive terror is something worth considering.
HALF LIGHT - Ha! Told ya!
YOU - Fucking shut it! I want that bath!
COMPOSURE [heroic:failure] - Your bottom lip starts trembling. The other day you could've hold it together. But not today. Not now. I'm sorry.
-1 MORALE
VOLITION - You need help. You're spiraling. Some more time and you will collapce. Get out of it.
THE BATHTUB OF DOOM - C'mon, honey. I swear it's not as scary as it looks, and you have a nice friend here with you, just a door away. Don't be scared. If you call for him, he'll come. Now, you try it with one foot first, see how it goes.
YOU - You blink in surprise. The Bathtub of Doom is way nicer than the name you gave her.
>1."Thank you, Bathtub of Doom. I'm sorry for the name. I'll make a new one."
2.Get inside silently like a totally normal person.
YOU - As soon as the first foot gets inside, you aren't able to stop yourself there, promptly stepping in with both feet and carefully sitting down, trying to fit your long legs inside the tub. Luckily it's big enough to fit in even a big guy like you. Your pale knees stick out of the water like two ice peaks, and you can see your toes wiggling where your feet rest against the oppisite wall of the tub.
After all, there is nothing to be scared about this water.
Perception (Vision) [easy:success] - He talks to you, but his eyes flicker to the lieutenant when he speaks.
Authority [medium:success] - Being in the lieutenant's good graces matters to your Satellite way more than staying on your good side ever will.
You - That's my turn to *ouch*. Why?
Authority - His approval is way harder to gain. You give yours away like an overexcited dog.
1.People need approval. We're social animals. That's how we survive through our miserable existence.
>2.What? Nonsense! I'm very critical. On everyone. And everything.
3.Fucking fine. Don't care. Bark-bark.(Conclude)
You - Do not! I'm a goddamn police officer. I won't be caught running around approving everyone in a billion years.
Authority - Keep telling yourself that if it helps you sleep at night.
You - Fuck you!
Authority - Oh look, he's angry. You're barking at the wrong tree, boy.
Reaction Speed [trivial:success] - By the way, you've been standing here talking to yourself for a good minute now. At least you were looking at your ledger all this time, so it didn't look too weird. But you better hop off this train now if you don't want them to think you're catatonic. Again.
>1.Fucking fine. Don't care. Bark-bark.(Conclude)
You - You look up. Kim is reading his notes, idly flipping through pages. Jean absentmindedly studies the Keneema, his hands in his pockets. With relief you turn your attention back to the ledger.
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Esprit de Corps [medium:success] - Somewhere in Jamrock a former silk factory is filled with low rumbling, coming up and down like pulse in cellules and lines of the bullpen. A secluded section of the breefing room is filled with people despite a late night hour.
Mack Torson - "So - what are you saying, Jean? 52 shat out a pile and offered us to clean it up?"
Esprit de Corps - Chuckles rupture the smoke-filled air of the bullpen. Sergeant Mack Torson, who was rocking on the chair's legs, slams them down with a loud thud. The chair menacingly creaks under his weight.
Chester McLaine - "By the way, here's the bumf," Chester McLaine's voice is tightened with laughter when he throws his partner a thin pack of yellowish sheets pinned together with a clip, containing all documents they were so generously granted as an addition to the returned case.
Mack Torson - Mack Torson lets out a loud cackle, catching the pack, and pantomimes wiping his ass with it.
Breeding room blows up with guffaws.
Jean Vicquemare - Jean Vicquemare doesn't say a word, watching over the heads of laughing men. It's incredibly late, and they still have to discuss tomorrow's plans on the case. He will let them have this minute anyway.
I love how I can literally trace my cycle by the shit I post in this stupid ass sideblog about Disco fucking Elysium. Ovulation takes no prisoners and it shows.
Never ask a woman her age and never ask tumblr user puppymolars what he thinks about the half-light check you can get when talking to Klaasje about being raped
The thing that fucks me up about this check the most is that itβs from Half Light, the primal fear- animal gnawing its own leg off to break free from a trap skill. Harry does not remember it happening, but his body does because it is so intensely afraid.
βHalf Light is your fight-or-flight response. It enables you to sense the way situations are about to turn. It injects palpable fear into your heart β fear that urges you act before itβs too late to act ever again; fear that makes you frighten others.β
β It is perpetual fear β of your own shadow, of someone elseβs name or scent.β
Renmorris has a very interesting thread connecting a lot of the kink in the game to that implied sexual trauma.
Some people do argue that because of the nature of Half Light, representing both predator and prey, this line implies Harry was the aggressor.
BUT I DONT KNOWβ¦.
βELECTROCHEMISTRY- Heβs right there. Itβs almost impossible to *get it on* unless youβre both drunk. Its too scary when people are soberβ
Is Harry du Bois a good person? No. Did he canonically hold a woman captive for 20 minutes? Yes. Do I think itβs possible heβs had multiple instances of consensually dubious intoxicated sex? ABSOLUTELY.
We donβt even have time to get into the βIts too scaryβ because likeβ¦real but also WHY DO YOU SPECIALLY FIND IT SCARY HARRY? WHATS GOING ON IN THAT BRAIN OF YOURS?
Also the most obvious evidence against this aggressor theory is that the way this dialogue is formatted leaves really no room to assume that. I mean
βYou know what itβs like to be kind of sure but not completely sure you were raped right?β
βUhhh hold onβ¦.ok so my primal fear instinct is telling me yesβ
Like that is pretttyyy explicit! And Disco is not a game that shys away from rape. If you talk to the scab leader he will give you a very detailed retelling of a story about a group of soldiers gang raping a girl in Semenine. I believe if Harry did such a thing they would tell us.
Klaasje and Harry are meant to mirror each other, I think, especially in their relationships to sex as a form of self-harm. It makes sense for this realization to come through her.
This. Half Light's check combined with Electrochemistry's check about being scared to have sex while sober, with Inland Empire's check about sex with Dora being something that stabilized him, made him *sane*, pretty much tells us how unhealthy and deeply rooted in trauma Harry's relationship with sex is. We don't get to find out what happened to him, but there is no doubt that something did.
YOU - Hold on, is this what happens when you two get together?
ELECTROCHEMISTRY - Yes!
HAND/EYE COORDINATION - Sure is!
π It's not much but defo Not SFW π
Idk I just had this idea in mind and couldn't banish it out until I sketched it so don't have any high expectations looking under the cut it's just a stupid lil thingy
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Authority is unhinged in the most beautiful way. The best thought in the game ever. I freaking love how Harry's only answer option to a *highly suspicious* Authority's passage about touching one's honour is 'Okay...' lmao. Poor bloke knows there is a catch but can't prove it just yet
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