there was a chicken loose on the golf course so they just. brought it in. to the office.

you can't argue with her work ethic

Hopefully this doesnt post twice, guess my first attempt disappeared into the ether...

comical size difference

My best friend was in tears today because she has stretch marks and she doesn’t believe me that literally 99.9% of the population have them and I’m trying to show her it’s okay

*the bug is wearing a tiny suit with a tiny suitcase and becomes my defense attorney*

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Three butch friends of mine finishing the basement of my first house around 1996.   They worked for beer, and not even anything fancy. 

My best friend was in tears today because she has stretch marks and she doesn’t believe me that literally 99.9% of the population have them and I’m trying to show her it’s okay

Hospital

Not me I’m paying a dollar seventy five. At the hospital

I feel like we’re getting off topic

So is pepsi if you steal it?

Because it’s only a dollar seventy five

Huh?

3. Werewolves are much sexier imo.

She’s built different 😌

like where is the green

Oh Christ

This is the color your cat is

colors i eyedropped directly from op's cat