Gyreai has gone missing. I donāt know what happened to him, but...maybe another vampire got to him, or the guilt caught up with him. I was weirdly sated before Lilith asked me where he was. Maybe I...devoured his memories and he wandered off. Or maybe he had had enough and he left. Either way, we filed a police report. We hope he is found.
Makkinis was out for a jog when he discovered a body by the path. Gyreai hadnāt even gotten very far before he froze to death in the autumn cold.
Galiaās birthday was ruined, but she has a knack for being unshakeable. Like how I had to be after Liok died.
Makkinis is taking it differently. He yells at people. Gyreai is someone he knew all his life, and I should have realized that. Gyreai and Liok has been a secret ever since, so he had no reason to think of him as I did.
We decided to take a vacation to take our minds off of things. Galia immediately struck out on her own into the jungle.
āHoney, what are you doing?ā Lilith asked.
āThereās not enough blood to go around,ā I replied.Ā āGyreai was barely enough, and heās gone. Eonaz and Makkinis donāt have what Galia has.ā
āSo...what are you doing?ā
I poured the concoction into a glass.Ā āI can permanently suppress their half-alien biology. They wonāt be vampires anymore.ā
I took the glass in my hand, but Lilith grabbed my arm.Ā āSix, you canāt. Theyāll die.ā
āNot immediately.ā
Lilith looked me in the eye.Ā āIf you make them take it, then Iām taking it too.ā
āLily.ā
āIām serious. I always wanted a family of my own, and Iām notĀ going to outlive them.ā
I got out of her grasp and put the glass in the fridge.Ā āWeāll talk about this later. I have to go to work.ā
āSixel. You canāt do this to our children.ā
āWeāll talk later, I said.ā
āNo. We settle this now.ā
We went to the mausoleum beneath the chapel. A place where, up to this point, I had found refuge. Now we were to fight like animals. We dressed like we did on our wedding night, and got to work.
āYouāve killed us, Sixel. I hope you know that.ā
Maybe so, but now my daughter will stop going hungry.
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Gyreai went missing for a few hours. He came back dazed and confused, and...normal.
Makkinis. Another failure.
āA girl!ā Lilith called up the stairs. The baby cried at the sudden noise.
āWhat?ā I called back.
āWe have a girl!ā
She bears the mark, too. Galia is her name.
I can access some kind of...different state of thought in the basement below the chapel. There I can actually study the words of his record. Progress is coming along. I can make out how certain words are meant to sound when spoken. This is how I name my children. I have no idea what they actually mean, but they sound cool.
Itās hard to keep a record when you have have to raise three toddlers. I donāt need to sleep, and somehow these kids donāt need to either -- at least thatās how it seems.
I know now what my dad was looking for, too. I can sense it in Galia. The way for the āworkā to continue. A euphemism for...something, but Dad described the feeling in detail in his Enaar notes. She has it.
I worry what I am becoming. Dad never reached powers on my level -- I donāt know if he could. But lately my ruthlessness worries me. I guess that it worries me is a good sign, but I...
I read in my dadās journal that he accidentally erased someoneās memory. I have that same power, but my ability sustains me like no other.
I guess I never wrote it down. Gyreai was the reason Liok died, and why Liok still wanders around the house at night.
Gyreai dared him to jump in the pool in the dead of winter. Itās his fault Liok is gone, and he never recovered. He never deserved to. Iām the way I am because of that night. Iām feeding on memories because of that night. Maybe my daughter will too.
Since I found out I could wipe minds like Dad could, Iāve been tempted to do it on Gyreai. Trap him in the basement and tell him heās our prisoner, that the world above ended -- but that wouldnāt set a good example for my daughter.
Sheās very human. More human than I remember being. Thatās not a bad thing at all -- itās endearing. She loves dressing up on holidays, and she makes me do it too. I love her.
Dadās gone, so itās my turn to take over. Hi, Iām Sixel. Iām a vampire.
My dad left behind a book about his past as an enaar on his planet, but he wrote it in his language, which he didnāt bother teaching us. Though, when I look at it, it seems like I can pick up parts of it just by looking at it. Iām working on it.
I havenāt decided what I want to do with myself. I havenāt met any other vampires, but Iāve read all about them. Dad encountered one once, judging by the journal. He might still be around. Iāve heard about a place the local vampires reside...
That was easy.
The Vatores. Sibling vampires. They enjoy sparring, and I enjoy figuring out my powers. The brother, Caleb, is very strong.
Strength couldnāt match my luck, though.
Dad never met anyone of his own kind here. Iāve met two, so far, and I already know I want to keep their company.
One thing is clear in Dadās book.Ā āThe work must continue.ā There must always be a child. I donāt know why, but I have to have a kid. The kid must have the marks I do.
Lilith will be the means to that end.
My parents were married in the greenhouse. I chose to build a dedicated chapel. Lilith and her brother helped me in deciding the architecture. The wedding is about to begin.
Sheās stunning, actually.
Gyreai slipped out at some point.
The wedding was nearly over, so I took some time to myself alone.
āWhy is the portrait of your father in Gyreaiās room?ā Lilith asked.
āI donāt know. Itās where Mom put it after he died.ā
She peered at the painting. I cracked an eye -- she was scrutinizing the face.
āWhat are you looking at?ā
āIām not sure.ā She shook her head and glanced over at me.Ā āWe should move this to the chapel.ā
Gyreai returned after the wedding ended. He seemed shaken.
I saw some weird lights outside a day later. IĀ āwoke upā if you could call it that a few hours later.Ā
Mom disappeared for a bit of time too. She came back just as confused as Gyreai and me. Dad always told us about being careful, but... Weāre not even well known. Somethingās wrong.
Gyreai has put on some weight in weird places lately. Iām trying not to worry, but this canāt be a coincidence. Weāre all missing time, and now Gyreai has...this.
āHave you seen Gyreai lately?ā I asked.
āNo, Iāve been upstairs. Whatās up?ā
āLemme feel the little guy.ā I felt her baby bump, prodding gently in spots. I stood up straight and clicked my tongue.Ā āGyreai has one of these.ā
āWhat?ā Lilith said.Ā āHe was born male, right?ā
I nodded.Ā āThis is something else. Have you lost time, lately?ā
She shook her head.Ā āIām the only one that hasnāt.ā
āEver since the wedding... The pregnancy test came back positive that night, didnāt it?ā
She frowned. āYeah.ā
I thought hard, trying to piece it together -- but I came up short.
Lilith had hers. Eonaz, is his name. He lacks the mark my dad needed.
Liokās death has awakened some primal, horrible energy within Sixel. He doesnāt speak to much of anyone anymore. What he does say is spat. Troublingly, the marks present on me -- the device so important to the work -- have revealed themselves. I can sense great sadness within him, but I sense something more. Physically, he changed rapidly. His brilliant eyes have gone dark, and a hunger lies within them.
Gyreai has become similarly distant, but where Sixel seems to have become misanthropic, Gyreai is silent.
I have made mistakes in my life, but none haunt me like this. The feelings I have over my failure to protect Liok are precisely why I was cast here. Others of my race feel nothing. A piece removed from play, nothing more.
I am thankful that I and my comrades -- wherever they may be -- can feel these feelings, but they make me want a reprieve. If only briefly.
I have finally entered the twilight. My time is short. Sixel will need to continue my work -- there is no alternative. The energy to continue this record wanes.
Sixel wouldnāt allow anyone to go upstairs for a time. When he came down, he had a sour look. He immediately went to Gyreai and had a heated -- but damnably whispered -- argument. I cannot be certain what they spoke of.
At any rate, it was time for Sixelās birthday.
His changes seemed to revert or at least stabilize once he reached full maturity. The enaar mark is still visible and somewhat malformed, but it has a new stability to it. My faith in him has grown.
I have made it clear to him that he is to keep as low a profile as possible. He already stands out, and it seems vampires are -- somehow -- more accepted in this world than aliens, but my time on this world is meant to be in exile. Still, it is up to him to follow his own path. I cannot stop him.
It is time for me to make peace. The work must continue.
I regret what I am leaving here, but I do not regret my time here. Little Liok -- I cannot bear to think of him, anymore. He would have been classmates with Gyreai, now. In the end, neither of them will make a difference to the work.
Sixel has very curious eyes. Itās a somewhat distressing miracle that I was even able to inseminate a human, but...what is this, exactly? A side-effect of that intermingling?
He was born with the mark of my kind, that much is certain.
I can sense it within him now that itās faded, but thereās something...wrong with it. Very, very wrong. I fear what may happen if I try to continue the work through Sixel.
He sure is a cute one, but...those eyes. I feel those eyes are connected to the problem with his mark. Thereās not much I can do about it except wait for his powers to manifest. I merely hope theyāre my powers, and not maligned by the intermingling with humanity.
But I am not to be without options, soon.
Gyreai, the secondborn boy, also bears the mark. But I cannot be sure he is like Sixel or not until the mark fades.
I am soon to enter the twilight of my life, and it is an unpleasant risk. I have the means to prolong the twilight, but only once. I believe it will be enough time to be certain -- I may be worried over nothing after all -- but Iād rather not take the risk.
The eyes. Human, through-and-through. What is different about little Gyreai that Sixel does not share? Iām sorry Reagan -- one more try.
Liok bears the mark.
But not the eyes.
Sixel is taking things well, so far. He is somewhat aloof over his younger brothers. I suppose I must have hope that he will be enough. It may not even be possible to have a full-blooded enaar child with a human. Sixel... He will be enough. He has to be.
Gyreai has gotten older. He has adopted his motherās neatness, and he seems interested in playing outside.
It is curious to see them interact with one another.
Liok is now a child. The more-humans band together, unknowing of their future. They are both a great deal kinder than Sixel, both to one another and others. Liok strives to emulate Gyreai in most things.
I...found a seed from my world. Iām not sure how it came here. Did it follow me? Did I somehow accidentally bring it here? Either way, it is nice to have a piece of home with me.
I found a second plant from my world. I...cannot say precisely how these arrived here, but they are unmistakable.
Sixel has come of age. It...is as I feared. He is some half-breed enaar, with...powers much greater than my own. The work can continue through him, that much I know now. But at what cost?
He has...strange desires. I cannot say exactly what stokes his hunger.
He asked me for something...decidedly unpleasant, to which I declined wholeheartedly. He said he could feel the blood pumping in me, and that he wanted it. Urgently. Food did nothing for him, anymore.
So, then. This is a vampire.
I...perhaps should have obliged. When I returned from work, he did not ask again. He was calm, again. I wonder if he went to his mother; he and she have a close relationship.
He seems otherwise normal. He doesnāt possess any sort of abilities from what I can tell.
His brother Gyreai is older now, and they are thick as thieves.
I feel bad for what I have thought of Sixel. The human holiday of Winterfest -- it is endearing. I was wrong about him. He is my son, and he will continue the work.
There...there was ice by the pool, and Liok fell in when no one was there. Heās gone.
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Or perhaps not. Good for putting up the decoration, though -- itās still very, very cold, but at least I didnāt have to put banners up in a blizzard.
The ceremony will be in the greenhouse. We moved the plants inside -- hopefully they wonāt mind too much. Itās a big day.
The wedding is about to begin.
Waiting for the guests to arrive.
And thatās that.
Just like that, my dear companion is...
...gone.
Perhaps he and Sonia are related, or maybe he doesnāt like my choice of lawn gnome. Salt in the wound.
Neither of us are feeling the Winterfest spirit very much, but traditions have a way of helping you through periods of sadness.
Sonia left after I tried to explain things. She seemed confused, which...makes sense.
My beloved Kwalim! I believe he hibernated until he was able to locate me, but I cannot be certain. Regardless of how he survived and trudged through the snow, he is here now.
I have been informed by Sonia (who despite everything seems to still like me, sort of) that it isĀ āalien nightā at the bar, and I will get discounted drinks.
I didnāt know she knew I was an alien, but I suppose I did wipe her memory. It was a bit sparkly for a while. Hm.
I took my son with me because I love him. The humans donāt seem to mind his odd coloration. Itās surprising he looks almost exactly like a dog, considering he is from another planet. Then again, I also look human, so.
I chose to sleep in the tent tonight, to experience the cold. And Kwalim was being annoying.
Kwalim grew just in time for Winterfest. He asked for a walk in the early morning -- and I obliged.
Sonia has gotten married. I missed my opportunity.
I must have a child soon, or it will be too late.
Another day, another librarian. I have vowed not to use any of my tricks on her -- at least for now. This one is Reagan Reeves, and she has a...singularly striking appearance. No other human has been this easy to talk to. She had to get back to work, so I went home.
I explored her presence online when I got there, and she has curious tastes. She rather obviously loves books, but she also has a penchant for zealous attacks on those she deems possessing of undesirable ideals. These ideals include...most.
After some...difficult...false-starts, I managed to convince her that I am not a horrible person. The ruse of humanity proved fruitless, however -- my kind very easily display our emotions, even through our shapeshifting. To her credit, she was interested instead of disgusted.
Well. At least some things are analagous.
She agreed to a more formal date, so I took her to a local bar. I enter hopeful.
It has been some time. I tried proposing to her as is custom, but I must have done it wrong -- she declined. She did, however, accept moving in with me. I donāt quite understand the difference.
I will bring up the idea of children soon. The work must continue.
As Kwalim reaches the twilight of his present incarnation, I am reminded that my own twilight fast approaches. I have begun to study these mysterious vampires, but there is only so much I can do through books alone.
I wish I were more scientifically-minded than I am. My comrades back home would be better suited here on this virgin world. At least, I assume theyāre back home still. I suppose if they all followed my path, then theyāre either dead or here with me...somewhere.
The house has been remodeled quite heavily. Like a molting insect, the space within the new carapace is welcome.
We are true friends, in the end. Itās a strange feeling, to fall in love with someone. Even more when you are hiding such an important part of yourself. So I decided to bare my soul. Be true to her, so I could be true to myself.
Letās try that again.
Perhaps it is fate that erasing Soniaās memory led me to Reagan. I havenāt yet decided if I believe in fate, but perhaps this will be enough to convince me.
I have doubts that my love for her is as honest as it seems. There is pressure on me to continue the work -- how can I know if that pressure is what has created this love?
In the end, maybe it doesnāt matter. I have a wedding to plan.
Tech support is dreadful, I have come to learn. A horrible woman yelled at me for an hour over a refund. But on this planet pain begets wealth, and I have built the shell of a home for myself. Itās empty inside and very dark, but it will keep my safe from the elements. Autumn approaches quickly, and with that, winter. My first here. I can only hope my companion finds a warm place to stay.
I have pieced together the semblance of a computer out of spare parts from work. Iāve found solace from this darkness in video games -- a welcome distraction from the worldās ills.
Ah, the lilies have grown. Much of the plantlife of this world is beautiful.
Itās fall now, and the lilies do not want to grow any longer. This shelter I have constructed over it will hopefully prolong the time before they go dormant. While they are pretty, I more wish to study how they grow.
Something horrible has come.
Sonia asked to come to my home, and I said yes.
She kicked over my trash can.
A gnome has appeared in my house.
And outside my house. The locals refer to this holiday asĀ āHarvestfest.ā This behavior is apparently typical.
No thank you.
I have skimmed the internet for information about these vampires, but it seems the only way to get true analysis is by finding books by trustworthy authors. A task for another day.
Iāve become accustomed to Soniaās visits. It seems she is somewhat fond of me as well. It would be helpful to have another pair of hands in my work, but...I can think of nothing more maddening than pretending to be human while living with a real human.
Winter has come.
The weather made me feel I should make a move. I did, and failed miserably (apparently humans do not court in similar ways). In my haste I erased her memory, and...it seems as though it was particularly effective. She has no idea who I am or anyone is, or where she is, or what day it is...
My name is Dasos. I am not from this world, but here I am. It is a beautiful prison.
To have been cast down in a place as lovely as this, teeming with life -- well. I could certainly ask for worse. Iāve traveled some distance from where I arrived, and in that time I have analyzed the people Iāve seen long enough to shift into what I believe to be a suitable form. Though, admittedly, the people here have very little problem with a blue, pointy-eared creature. Strange.
I smuggled a beast with me in my exile, but we were separated. I donāt know where he is, but I could sure use his aid.
My home, such as it is, is comprised of a few items Iāve been able to acquire in my time here. I think the time has come to move past begging and scrounging for money. If I had my way I would leave the planet, but that... No, thatās not an option. Iāll find something else.
Perhaps something with computers? Human computers are not terribly unlike enaar computers, barring the obvious. It shouldnāt be that difficult.
Her name is Sonia Yi, the librarian. She is...quirky, to say the least. Sometimes she speaks to the air. Iāve seen something like that back on my world as a side-effect of a technology I will not name, but I somehow doubt sheās from the same world I am.
I became acutely aware of my smell while talking to her. The gym next door has some public use showers, which is...a bit concerning for my own health, but Iām quite sure diseases here will not affect me.
Fairly sure.
I decided to test my ability at interfacing with human computers at a distance.
This is fine.
A bit of change, and I wasnāt caught! I think. I...suppose Iāll find out.
My newfound wealth reminds me that I live in squalor. Perhaps I need a job, like Sonia. She is the librarian, and to have my own library would be valuable in a new world like this, but the library is free for me to use. I have seen some notices at the library for a tech support company. Iāve used a lot of different sorts of technology. Iām sure I can offer support to those in need.
Overcast today, despite it being the hot season.
While hunting down leads on a job, the cloud became a thunderstorm.
I live in a tent.
This is a problem.
This is a problem.
He was very cordial, all things considered. He looks human, like I do, but he definitely is not. He messed with my mind, like I can do to others somewhat. Could he be related, somehow? No, surely not. I must study his species more closely.