#enaar

Makkinis was out for a jog when he discovered a body by the path. Gyreai hadn’t even gotten very far before he froze to death in the autumn cold.

Galia’s birthday was ruined, but she has a knack for being unshakeable. Like how I had to be after Liok died.

Makkinis is taking it differently. He yells at people. Gyreai is someone he knew all his life, and I should have realized that. Gyreai and Liok has been a secret ever since, so he had no reason to think of him as I did.

We decided to take a vacation to take our minds off of things. Galia immediately struck out on her own into the jungle.

“Honey, what are you doing?” Lilith asked. “There’s not enough blood to go around,” I replied. “Gyreai was barely enough, and he’s gone. Eonaz and Makkinis don’t have what Galia has.” “So...what are you doing?” I poured the concoction into a glass. “I can permanently suppress their half-alien biology. They won’t be vampires anymore.” I took the glass in my hand, but Lilith grabbed my arm. “Six, you can’t. They’ll die.” “Not immediately.” Lilith looked me in the eye. “If you make them take it, then I’m taking it too.” “Lily.” “I’m serious. I always wanted a family of my own, and I’m not going to outlive them.” I got out of her grasp and put the glass in the fridge. “We’ll talk about this later. I have to go to work.” “Sixel. You can’t do this to our children.” “We’ll talk later, I said.”

“No. We settle this now.”

We went to the mausoleum beneath the chapel. A place where, up to this point, I had found refuge. Now we were to fight like animals. We dressed like we did on our wedding night, and got to work.

“You’ve killed us, Sixel. I hope you know that.”

My dad left behind a book about his past as an enaar on his planet, but he wrote it in his language, which he didn’t bother teaching us. Though, when I look at it, it seems like I can pick up parts of it just by looking at it. I’m working on it.

I haven’t decided what I want to do with myself. I haven’t met any other vampires, but I’ve read all about them. Dad encountered one once, judging by the journal. He might still be around. I’ve heard about a place the local vampires reside...

That was easy.

The Vatores. Sibling vampires. They enjoy sparring, and I enjoy figuring out my powers. The brother, Caleb, is very strong.

Strength couldn’t match my luck, though.

Dad never met anyone of his own kind here. I’ve met two, so far, and I already know I want to keep their company.

One thing is clear in Dad’s book. “The work must continue.” There must always be a child. I don’t know why, but I have to have a kid. The kid must have the marks I do.

Lilith will be the means to that end.

My parents were married in the greenhouse. I chose to build a dedicated chapel. Lilith and her brother helped me in deciding the architecture. The wedding is about to begin.

She’s stunning, actually.

Gyreai slipped out at some point.

The wedding was nearly over, so I took some time to myself alone.

“Why is the portrait of your father in Gyreai’s room?” Lilith asked. “I don’t know. It’s where Mom put it after he died.” She peered at the painting. I cracked an eye -- she was scrutinizing the face. “What are you looking at?” “I’m not sure.” She shook her head and glanced over at me. “We should move this to the chapel.”

Gyreai returned after the wedding ended. He seemed shaken.

I saw some weird lights outside a day later. I “woke up” if you could call it that a few hours later. 

Mom disappeared for a bit of time too. She came back just as confused as Gyreai and me. Dad always told us about being careful, but... We’re not even well known. Something’s wrong.

Gyreai has put on some weight in weird places lately. I’m trying not to worry, but this can’t be a coincidence. We’re all missing time, and now Gyreai has...this.

“Have you seen Gyreai lately?” I asked. “No, I’ve been upstairs. What’s up?” “Lemme feel the little guy.” I felt her baby bump, prodding gently in spots. I stood up straight and clicked my tongue. “Gyreai has one of these.” “What?” Lilith said. “He was born male, right?” I nodded. “This is something else. Have you lost time, lately?” She shook her head. “I’m the only one that hasn’t.” “Ever since the wedding... The pregnancy test came back positive that night, didn’t it?” She frowned. “Yeah.” I thought hard, trying to piece it together -- but I came up short.

Lilith had hers. Eonaz, is his name. He lacks the mark my dad needed.

Gyreai has become similarly distant, but where Sixel seems to have become misanthropic, Gyreai is silent.

I have made mistakes in my life, but none haunt me like this. The feelings I have over my failure to protect Liok are precisely why I was cast here. Others of my race feel nothing. A piece removed from play, nothing more.

I am thankful that I and my comrades -- wherever they may be -- can feel these feelings, but they make me want a reprieve. If only briefly.

I have finally entered the twilight. My time is short. Sixel will need to continue my work -- there is no alternative. The energy to continue this record wanes.

Sixel wouldn’t allow anyone to go upstairs for a time. When he came down, he had a sour look. He immediately went to Gyreai and had a heated -- but damnably whispered -- argument. I cannot be certain what they spoke of.

At any rate, it was time for Sixel’s birthday.

His changes seemed to revert or at least stabilize once he reached full maturity. The enaar mark is still visible and somewhat malformed, but it has a new stability to it. My faith in him has grown.

I have made it clear to him that he is to keep as low a profile as possible. He already stands out, and it seems vampires are -- somehow -- more accepted in this world than aliens, but my time on this world is meant to be in exile. Still, it is up to him to follow his own path. I cannot stop him.

It is time for me to make peace. The work must continue.

I regret what I am leaving here, but I do not regret my time here. Little Liok -- I cannot bear to think of him, anymore. He would have been classmates with Gyreai, now. In the end, neither of them will make a difference to the work.

He was born with the mark of my kind, that much is certain.

I can sense it within him now that it’s faded, but there’s something...wrong with it. Very, very wrong. I fear what may happen if I try to continue the work through Sixel.

He sure is a cute one, but...those eyes. I feel those eyes are connected to the problem with his mark. There’s not much I can do about it except wait for his powers to manifest. I merely hope they’re my powers, and not maligned by the intermingling with humanity.

But I am not to be without options, soon.

Gyreai, the secondborn boy, also bears the mark. But I cannot be sure he is like Sixel or not until the mark fades.

I am soon to enter the twilight of my life, and it is an unpleasant risk. I have the means to prolong the twilight, but only once. I believe it will be enough time to be certain -- I may be worried over nothing after all -- but I’d rather not take the risk.

The eyes. Human, through-and-through. What is different about little Gyreai that Sixel does not share? I’m sorry Reagan -- one more try.

Liok bears the mark.

But not the eyes.

Sixel is taking things well, so far. He is somewhat aloof over his younger brothers. I suppose I must have hope that he will be enough. It may not even be possible to have a full-blooded enaar child with a human. Sixel... He will be enough. He has to be.

Gyreai has gotten older. He has adopted his mother’s neatness, and he seems interested in playing outside.

It is curious to see them interact with one another.

Liok is now a child. The more-humans band together, unknowing of their future. They are both a great deal kinder than Sixel, both to one another and others. Liok strives to emulate Gyreai in most things.

I...found a seed from my world. I’m not sure how it came here. Did it follow me? Did I somehow accidentally bring it here? Either way, it is nice to have a piece of home with me.

I found a second plant from my world. I...cannot say precisely how these arrived here, but they are unmistakable.

Sixel has come of age. It...is as I feared. He is some half-breed enaar, with...powers much greater than my own. The work can continue through him, that much I know now. But at what cost?

He has...strange desires. I cannot say exactly what stokes his hunger.

He asked me for something...decidedly unpleasant, to which I declined wholeheartedly. He said he could feel the blood pumping in me, and that he wanted it. Urgently. Food did nothing for him, anymore.

So, then. This is a vampire.

I...perhaps should have obliged. When I returned from work, he did not ask again. He was calm, again. I wonder if he went to his mother; he and she have a close relationship.

He seems otherwise normal. He doesn’t possess any sort of abilities from what I can tell.

His brother Gyreai is older now, and they are thick as thieves.

I feel bad for what I have thought of Sixel. The human holiday of Winterfest -- it is endearing. I was wrong about him. He is my son, and he will continue the work.

The ceremony will be in the greenhouse. We moved the plants inside -- hopefully they won’t mind too much. It’s a big day.

The wedding is about to begin.

Waiting for the guests to arrive.

And that’s that.

Just like that, my dear companion is...

...gone.

Perhaps he and Sonia are related, or maybe he doesn’t like my choice of lawn gnome. Salt in the wound.

Neither of us are feeling the Winterfest spirit very much, but traditions have a way of helping you through periods of sadness.

A Winterfest miracle. The work can continue.

Ah, here he is. Took him long enough.

Welcome back, my friend.

I have been informed by Sonia (who despite everything seems to still like me, sort of) that it is “alien night” at the bar, and I will get discounted drinks.

I didn’t know she knew I was an alien, but I suppose I did wipe her memory. It was a bit sparkly for a while. Hm.

I took my son with me because I love him. The humans don’t seem to mind his odd coloration. It’s surprising he looks almost exactly like a dog, considering he is from another planet. Then again, I also look human, so.

I chose to sleep in the tent tonight, to experience the cold. And Kwalim was being annoying.

Kwalim grew just in time for Winterfest. He asked for a walk in the early morning -- and I obliged.

Sonia has gotten married. I missed my opportunity.

I must have a child soon, or it will be too late.

Another day, another librarian. I have vowed not to use any of my tricks on her -- at least for now. This one is Reagan Reeves, and she has a...singularly striking appearance. No other human has been this easy to talk to. She had to get back to work, so I went home.

I explored her presence online when I got there, and she has curious tastes. She rather obviously loves books, but she also has a penchant for zealous attacks on those she deems possessing of undesirable ideals. These ideals include...most.

After some...difficult...false-starts, I managed to convince her that I am not a horrible person. The ruse of humanity proved fruitless, however -- my kind very easily display our emotions, even through our shapeshifting. To her credit, she was interested instead of disgusted.

Well. At least some things are analagous.

She agreed to a more formal date, so I took her to a local bar. I enter hopeful.

It has been some time. I tried proposing to her as is custom, but I must have done it wrong -- she declined. She did, however, accept moving in with me. I don’t quite understand the difference.

I will bring up the idea of children soon. The work must continue.

As Kwalim reaches the twilight of his present incarnation, I am reminded that my own twilight fast approaches. I have begun to study these mysterious vampires, but there is only so much I can do through books alone.

I wish I were more scientifically-minded than I am. My comrades back home would be better suited here on this virgin world. At least, I assume they’re back home still. I suppose if they all followed my path, then they’re either dead or here with me...somewhere.

The house has been remodeled quite heavily. Like a molting insect, the space within the new carapace is welcome.

We are true friends, in the end. It’s a strange feeling, to fall in love with someone. Even more when you are hiding such an important part of yourself. So I decided to bare my soul. Be true to her, so I could be true to myself.

Let’s try that again.

Perhaps it is fate that erasing Sonia’s memory led me to Reagan. I haven’t yet decided if I believe in fate, but perhaps this will be enough to convince me.

I have doubts that my love for her is as honest as it seems. There is pressure on me to continue the work -- how can I know if that pressure is what has created this love?

I have pieced together the semblance of a computer out of spare parts from work. I’ve found solace from this darkness in video games -- a welcome distraction from the world’s ills.

Ah, the lilies have grown. Much of the plantlife of this world is beautiful.

It’s fall now, and the lilies do not want to grow any longer. This shelter I have constructed over it will hopefully prolong the time before they go dormant. While they are pretty, I more wish to study how they grow.

Something horrible has come.

Sonia asked to come to my home, and I said yes.

She kicked over my trash can.

A gnome has appeared in my house.

And outside my house. The locals refer to this holiday as “Harvestfest.” This behavior is apparently typical.

No thank you.

I have skimmed the internet for information about these vampires, but it seems the only way to get true analysis is by finding books by trustworthy authors. A task for another day.

I’ve become accustomed to Sonia’s visits. It seems she is somewhat fond of me as well. It would be helpful to have another pair of hands in my work, but...I can think of nothing more maddening than pretending to be human while living with a real human.

Winter has come.

The weather made me feel I should make a move. I did, and failed miserably (apparently humans do not court in similar ways). In my haste I erased her memory, and...it seems as though it was particularly effective. She has no idea who I am or anyone is, or where she is, or what day it is...