Hi I’m Rinja; I'm old and there isn’t enough wine for this shit. Current ask box state: OFF (due to spam). sometimes i write stuff -> doomcake @ ao3 | rinja @ dreamwidth (both are mostly locked to logged in users only due to AI scraping)
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Not "A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away...." I read an article that talked about how impossible it was for Anakin and Padmé to be happy in canon. And then I thought, if there was an AU where Palpatine suddenly forgot he'd created Anakin, the Jedi wouldn't have found him by pure chance. And then one day, our Naboo senator would have been whisked off to Tatooine, where she'd inevitably get into trouble, and met him, a former slave and a smart guy. It's actually very similar to Leia and Han's story, but I don't see a quick happy ending here either; the difference in status is too big. And he would have thought, "If only I were a Jedi, I could be closer to her, talk to her as an equal." No, no, no, Ani, it’s the worst, trust me
1.05 -> 1.06 requested by @littlespoonevan <3
(in episode five, ilya conceals his feelings with language; in episode six, ilya feels safe enough to say that he's terrified out loud) (all because of shane's earnestynuke heading straight towards his walls)
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The Odyssey but retold as a low-stakes modern adventure of one guy out with his girlfriend leaving the bar with his buddies to do just one (1) simple thing real quick, it'll take like 15 minutes tops, he'll be right back, but then some bullshit happens and the trip keeps getting more complicated as more bullshit keeps happening while he just tries to get back to the bar because he promised his girlfriend that he'd get back and he knows that she's still there because she told him she'd wait there.
And by the time he finally gets back it's almost 3 am and the bar is about to close while she's sitting there stone cold sober, surrounded by 5 drunk guys unsuccessfully trying to convince her to give up on waiting for him and go home with one of them instead. And the guy shows up to proceed to beat the shit out of them before explaining himself to her like hey sorry bullshit kept happening, my phone fell into a storm drain and my wallet got stolen when I was trying to find someone who'd borrow me a phone so I could call and
His girlfriend had been fending off the 5 drunk guys for most of the evening by explaining that even if she was going to ditch her boyfriend, she can't possibly leave without finishing her beer, which she is keeping perpetually full via careful sleight of hand where she's just pouring it back and forth into and out of the pitcher.
However the drunk guys are also drinking, and eventually she can't afford to buy another pitcher for the table so she can't keep up the ever-full beer glass trick. At this point she has to resort to setting up the pool trick shot that she's never seen anyone but her boyfriend pull off, and says she'll leave with whoever manages the shot first.
That buys her another hour or so and then, finally, her boyfriend makes it back. He looks like shit, hair down and just a mess, he's wearing an entirely different jacket that he got from an alley, and barely recognizable—especially to 5 guys who've been drunk for hours now. He lurks for a minute, finds out what's going on, and proceeds to pull off the trick shot first try. Throws the jacket off, fixes his hair with a hair tie his girlfriend lends him, finally looks like himself again, and THEN beats the shit out of them with the pool cue.
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Most cop thing I've ever read. what the fuck are you talking about. The posts you're looking for might be on this website but we won't show them to you???
just so you know, if you completely ignore the search feature on the website and just type "tumblr.com/search/term" into the address bar, it bypasses all of this. broken-ass website
titsay
snowghoul
2087
stormborns
andulkaphoto
blakekathryn
s-u-f-j-a-n-s-t-e-v-e-n-s
